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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Bare bum in dressing room , AIBU.

892 replies

pinkboa · 26/11/2019 22:57

I take DS to swimming. I got the times wrong turned up for the wrong lesson. I decide to go back to the changing room to wait. I find it hard to breath in the pool area, 30 minutes is ok, an hour and I can feel my asthma begin to act up.

There is a dad there getting his daughters dressed (fine) he was in the pool and he's down to his underwear.

Another dad arrives with his son, him and my DS are in the same lesson.

Anyways dad of daughters decides to get dressed... he drops his pants and is stark naked in front of his daughters. He is also by the door so if another parent was coming in their child would have walked into his penis! And it wasn't less than a minute because he was drying himself as well 🤢...

There are cubicles. He could have used a towel as well.

Why would and adult choose to get naked in a dressing room at a swim lesson for children with strangers around.

AIBU to find it bizarre?

His bum was also hairy and unattractive 🤢.

OP posts:
Zippy1510 · 03/12/2019 08:05

I love this thread. I can’t stop cracking up at the thought of how it would go if a man had written it. “I was taking my daughter to a swimming lesson at school but arrived early, with 30 minutes or so to kill I decided to spend some time in the women’s changing room as the pool irritates my asthma. The men’s was also available but very crowded and not to my liking. As I sat in the women’s changing room a lady came in with her children to get herself and her children changed. As it became evident I wasn’t going anywhere she then proceeded to drop her pants and show me her fat arse! As I remained in my viewing position I noticed that in an attempt to position herself away from me she had created a situation where if any children had been unexpectedly pushed into the room they would have walked straight into her fanny! Clearly she was behaving inappropriately. AIBU?

TriangularRatbag · 03/12/2019 10:39

@Zippy1510
As it became evident I wasn’t going anywhere she then proceeded to drop her pants and show me her fat arse!
GrinGrin

angycleo · 03/12/2019 13:46

IF A MAN GOES INTO THE WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM HE IS ACUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT....SO,BIG MOUTH WOMAN....YOU WENT INTO THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM....NOT JUST THAT,BUT WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS....YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO THAT MAN BECAUSE YOU INVADED HIS PRIVACY....

TriangularRatbag · 03/12/2019 13:54

IF A MAN GOES INTO THE WOMEN'S LOCKER ROOM HE IS ACUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT....SO,BIG MOUTH WOMAN....YOU WENT INTO THE MEN'S LOCKER ROOM....NOT JUST THAT,BUT WITH YOUR DAUGHTERS....YOU SHOULD APOLOGIZE TO THAT MAN BECAUSE YOU INVADED HIS PRIVACY....

Welcome @angycleo! Did you by any chance find us via the Daily Mail? Just a wild guess GrinGrin

spanglydangly · 03/12/2019 16:20

Heart radio are on it as well!

Wayne99 · 03/12/2019 20:32

she was in a men's changing room! absolutely nothing wrong with the man being naked there... next time use the ladies' room.... can't understand why ladies do this... the other day i went to the men's bathroom at a certain establishment and I find a mum changing her son's diaper with her other boy watching on in the men's room.... I couldn't be bothered... just went to the closest urinal next to her, whipped it out and did my thing...did she see my penis? I'm sure she did as it was in full view... but next time lady don't invade our space!

FNUSNU · 03/12/2019 22:22

YABVU! If a man went into the ladies' he'd probably be arrested, you are lucky that you weren't. Some would say it's perverted behavior. You are also extremely judgemental in the way you talk about his body and should be ashamed.

IcedPurple · 04/12/2019 10:40

Not much to add to the comments about the absolute absurdity of this.

However, can I ask why you felt the need to specify that this man's bum was "hairy and unattractive 🤢"? If his bum had been smooth and peachy would it have been OK? Imagine the reactions if a man had sauntered into the women's changing room to relax for a bit and complained about seeing a woman's tits? Tits which were also 'saggy and unattractive'?

blackteasplease · 04/12/2019 11:55

Ha! Just read the beginning and end of this. Like many, I assumed on the first page it was the women’s changing room, as that would have been inappropriate.

But in the men’s? Of course a man can strip naked in the men’s! He has to take his daughters in there as it would be wrong for him to go into the ladies’, just as it’s wrong for you to go into the men’s.

If children are young enough to need help changing, they are young enough to go into the changing room of the opposite sex. If they are too old to go in there, they are old enough to change unaided.

And who randomly walks into the opposite changing room to help their asthma? Surely you go outside?

But anyone replying in capitals is far worse than you OP.

Nobi · 08/12/2019 00:14

So you decide to go into the mens because the womens room is more crowded and then that justifies skipping the wait? What an entitled prick lol.

MarkIV75 · 08/12/2019 01:13

What are YOU doing with your son in the men's changing room?
Mothers with small children - boys or girls - go to the women's changing room.
Fathers with small children - boys or girls - go to the men's changing room.
Mothers like you raise akward children.

Ctrarian · 08/12/2019 06:06

So - just to clarify:

You - a woman - walked into the men's changing room. Sat there for half an hour before a man who's not up to your personal standards of buttock tautness and hairlessness got naked in your field of vision?

And now you want us to think that he's the unreasonable one?

Do you by any chance spend your friday nights standing next to the urinals in the gents', complaining that you are being flashed all the time and that none of the penises you saw were very big?

Ctrarian · 08/12/2019 06:18

Oh. And a question:

If a man - or a couple of men, say, dads waiting for their kids - decided to spend half an hour in the womens changing room because of asthma, would it be alright to bring beer and crisps to dull the shock of finding out that not every naked lady in there is a 25 yo, perty-breasted, cellulite-free, clean shaven TV fantasy...

...or would that be considered sexist and wrong?

MarkIV75 · 08/12/2019 08:47

If you enter a mens changing room, expect to see naked men.
If that is is too much for you, YOU entered the wrong room.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 08/12/2019 12:21

@MarkIV75 - if you read the OP's updates (you can highlight all the OP's posts in any thread in the Customise option, by clicking on the v next to Talk at the top of the page) you will see that she has answered your question at least once, maybe more.

MomsyDK · 08/12/2019 12:52

It's just a man drying off, it's as ridiculous to be upset about nudity in a chanting room, as being upset about a baby being born naked.. No wonder UK has problems with teen pregnancy when something as insignificant as a naked mans changing and drying off after swimming with his child is blown out of proportion..

JolieOBrien · 09/12/2019 04:42

I cannot believe this this thread is still rambling on pmsl

TriangularRatbag · 09/12/2019 12:07

Do you by any chance spend your friday nights standing next to the urinals in the gents', complaining that you are being flashed all the time and that none of the penises you saw were very big?

GrinGrin

BlokeTarget · 07/02/2020 00:26

Do you by any chance spend your friday nights standing next to the urinals in the gents', complaining that you are being flashed all the time and that none of the penises you saw were very big?

And Making sure they have perfectly waxed arses so as not to offend your aversion for body hair on men ?
Grin

CameronG · 07/02/2020 01:05

I don’t know how it came to be that this thread was resurrected. But I am happy about it.

Nippybutsweet · 07/02/2020 01:42

Do you think it's pissible that your very presence could, maybe, I dunno.... have made any of the men or young boys uncomfortable? If I had a young son using the changing facilities and he told me a woman was hanging around in there I would have probably dragged you out by tge hair and asked questions later demanded management called the police.

OneHanded · 07/02/2020 01:45

You were in the men’s ffs plenty of tits and fuzzy triangles out in the ladies. YABU.

grisen · 07/02/2020 02:55

Okay I know you don’t care about the cultural norma of us foreigners. But in Scandinavia (at least where I am from) we shower naked in communal showers And get dressed in communal rooms, all single sex though (yes transgenders get to choose which one they pick) but if a woman would walk into the men’s changing room and just sit down all hell would break lose.

I believe past the age of 8 everyone is expected to go through the correct changing room on their own. Before that a mum would take her kids in the female changing rooms and a dad in the male ones.

Seriously shocked you’d chill in the male changing room. At least go outside.

BumbleBree · 07/02/2020 05:44

Imagine if a guy was sitting chilling in the women’s changing room and HE was put out about a bush on display because he was there first! Grin and then had the cheek to imply that she was a bit shady getting naked in the changing room while he was in it! Can you imagine the uproar! Thank you for this thread OP!

Leflic · 07/02/2020 08:22

The Op was upset that he was naked in front of children ( not his).

I think her son will have to get used to strangers willies as men use urinals where you are expected to get your penis out. Adult strangers naked bodies are acceptable in changing rooms and rugby clubs.

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