To not want to drive 2 hours on Xmas Eve ?

[Foalma19]

My family (mother and sibling) usually come to us for Christmas. They live a 2 hour round trip away and neither can drive. This means each year DH and I collect them and take them back a few days later.

This year my mother has to be in work for 8am on Boxing day. I agreed to get up early and drive her back so that she could be in work on time and still stay for Christmas. I wasn't hugely thrilled at the prospect but thought I'd suck it up for the sake of family harmony.

However, now it's been announced that my sibling won't finish work on Christmas Eve until 8pm. Neither myself or DH wants to make the 2 hour round trip (plus however long stuck in traffic on the motorway) at that hour on Christmas Eve.

Are we being unreasonable to leave them to have Christmas by themselves?

By way of explanation we have young children so Christmas Eve is pretty busy once they are in bed sorting gifts etc. Going to them is not an option, hence why we always collect them and take them back. I don't know if they could get a train that late and it would take several hours so I don't think they'd be keen. As non-drivers I don't think they really appreciate that a 2 hour round trip can be a pita for us.

So what's the verdict?

It’s a big ask to do xmas eve and Boxing Day. Time to say no. Let them sort themselves out this year. (Though technically you could still take mum as you have already agreed to run her back)

I posted a similar (ish) post a while ago. I have now decided to suit myself and my young family at Christmas (for the first time!) and it feels good!

I totally get your family dynamic.

YANBU at all and it appears the situation is no ones fault, just circumstance. Tell them that and say you will organise to see them either just before or after Christmas.

Don't let them make you feel guilty and don't let them make you feel this is in any way your fault. It's also a prime opportunity to open discussions regarding future travel arrangements.

They're both adults and it's time they took responsibility for themselves. Your sister doesn't need to learn to drive or stand in her own 2 feet when you run around after her. Have a kind conversation and make it clear this will be stopping.

@FelicisNox

That’s right. You put it beautifully.

If they want to come they should sort themselves out by train. If not, then they will have to stay where they are. Christmas Eve is a special time with young kids and it is soon gone, as they grow up so fast.