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AIBU?

To think we weren’t in the wrong here?

304 replies

outofthedarkshadows · 23/11/2019 11:05

Out with DD aged 3 and a woman walked past. DD said in that loud way children have ‘that’s a big lady.’

I know that must have been unpleasant for her but she gave me such a look and said ‘teach it some manners.’

(I had quietly said to dd that wasn’t a nice thing to say.)

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

1358 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
49%
You are NOT being unreasonable
51%
MsJaneAusten · 23/11/2019 11:06

“I will. When are you going to learn some?”

KittenLedWeaning · 23/11/2019 11:07

YABU. The sooner you teach your daughter that it's not OK to comment on people's appearance, the better.

YouJustDoYou · 23/11/2019 11:09

YABU. The sooner you teach your daughter that it's not OK to comment on people's appearance, the better

READ WHAT OP WROTE. She said she told her dd it wasn't nice, but the woman didn't hear.ffs.

Disfordarkchocolate · 23/11/2019 11:09

All children do this at that age, and they stare too long. It's not something that any child learns overnight, its something they learn gradually. You were fine with a clear correction afterwards.

wineisnecessary · 23/11/2019 11:09

Well the woman would of been hurt but your dd is only 3 . But yeah right to tell dd it's not nice to comment . Kids are honest Grin

Venger · 23/11/2019 11:10

YABU to think you weren't in the wrong. Your DD made a very rude comment. She is only 3yo and doesnt fully understand yet, she'll learn, but you understand and as soon as you realised the woman had heard your DD you should have apologised.

Stressedout10 · 23/11/2019 11:11

I have a autistic 10 year old who still does things like this and yes I tell him everytime that its not nice but he has no filter it's caused me so much aggro it's unbelievable

KittenLedWeaning · 23/11/2019 11:12

READ WHAT OP WROTE. She said she told her dd it wasn't nice, but the woman didn't hear.ffs.

I did read what the OP wrote. What a rude response. No wonder you sympathise with the mannerless child.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/11/2019 11:12

Your DD may have hit a very raw nerve so the woman’s response was a bit of a knee jerk.
I wouldn’t over think it to be honest. You will probably never see her again in your life so let it go.

OlaEliza · 23/11/2019 11:13

Based on my neice, at 3yo your DD is plenty old enough to understand you don't say things like that.

Celebelly · 23/11/2019 11:13

I think she was probably very embarrassed and reacted accordingly in a bit of a knee-jerk way.

areyouafraidofthedark · 23/11/2019 11:13

I would of apologised to the lady and told me daughter it wasn't a very nice thing to say. You didn't handle it very well.

areyouafraidofthedark · 23/11/2019 11:14

My*

YouJustDoYou · 23/11/2019 11:14

No wonder you sympathise with the mannerless child

Mother tells a 3 year old toddler that it's not nice to speak about people like that. But you call a little girl "mannerless". SMH.

Havaina · 23/11/2019 11:14

I've never known children to make such comments to/about strangers, so I can see why she retorted.

Your dd is only 3, but I don't blame the woman for standing up for herself.

YABU for posting a thread about this, do you want us all to fatshame this woman?

outofthedarkshadows · 23/11/2019 11:14

No, I’m fat myself.

OP posts:
DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 23/11/2019 11:15

She called your child 'it'?! Wtf

Bluntness100 · 23/11/2019 11:16

I also suspect the woman was embarrassed and reacted badly.

Time to start teaching your daughter it's not ok to comment negatively on other people's appearance.

dementedpixie · 23/11/2019 11:16

She could have meant tall rather than fat

KittenLedWeaning · 23/11/2019 11:16

But you call a little girl "mannerless"

She clearly lacks manners, if she makes loud personal comments about strangers passing by. It's a factual observation.

Wildorchidz · 23/11/2019 11:17

Mother tells a 3 year old toddler that it's not nice to speak about people like that. But you call a little girl "mannerless".

Mother should have apologised to the woman.
But the woman should not have referred to the little girl as ‘it’.

Bingcankissmyass · 23/11/2019 11:18

KittenLedWeaning

No wonder you sympathise with the mannerless child.
Oh for fucks sake, give your head a wobble. The 'mannerless child' is 3, not 13. Get over yourself.

Havaina · 23/11/2019 11:18

Ok scrap the fatshaming. DD won't remember what the woman said to you, but this woman may have gone away shit.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 23/11/2019 11:18

I think the issue is less your DD making the comment and more that the woman didn’t hear you correct her.
Children will be children but the adults do need to be seen and heard to step in.

Catandstuff22 · 23/11/2019 11:19

I feel sorry for the lady. As someone who has many times been called fat in public by a stranger, its awful. However, your daughter is only 3 and didn't mean any harm. The lady was probably just shocked and upset, I don't think it was wrong for her to say something to you though.

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