They didn’t tell us

[angrymumof6]

I found out last week that sil is pregnant with baby no6. This is good news. This morning my dp found out that she had her baby last night. Everyone else in the family already knew except us.
We both feel really hurt by this and we are wondering what we have done to upset them?
We thought we had a decent relationship if not a very close one. We always make the effort to visit them a few times a year but they never come here, saying we don’t have a garden and it’s too much with 11 kids in total. So we haven’t been this year. And they obviously haven’t come to visit us either. For context my dp is not British and comes from a culture where the younger ones visit the older ones(dp is the oldest).
Aibu to feel upset for both of us or should I just suck it up and suggest we go to see them and the new baby?

@sloeginclub

Having one child in our current global situation is very selfish. Nothing you can say to make yourself feel better and less guilty about it or justify it to others is going to wash I'm afraid. Nobody should have ANY children. But of course they will. Because they like children. Because they want children. I do not need to make myself feel better. I do not feel guilty. I do not need to justify my choices to others. I choose to have 7 children and I am proud.

Proud is an odd choice of word.
Proud of each of your 6 children, yes. Proud of having 6 children - no.
There are many many things that we all do every day that impact the environment every single day.
I only have one child.
That’s not actually for environmental reasons, but it’s a good effect I suppose, that it lessens my family’s impact.
But... I’m taking him on a plane at Xmas. So - not really going to claim environmental credentials.
Why am I going on a plane despite the environmental crisis?
Because I choose to, I’m selfish, and I want to.
I’m not PROUD of it.
Go ahead, have your 6 or 7 kids, choose your wants over the environment. I’m doing the same with the flight. But don’t be PROUD of it!

Proud is the perfect choice of word. I am proud of my children and to have them. We are all bad for the environment. All animal life is to some extent, with regard to the gasses they produce. Sadly, even if there was no life on Earth at all, it would still die one day, as all planets do. I will go ahead and have my 6 or 7 children and I will be PROUD of it!!

I cannot understand for one second how anyone would WANT to bring children into this terrible uncertainty.

I would definitely not if I had known then what we all know now. They are NOT going to have lovely lives, they will probably be the last generation, they will probably suffer terribly and see terrible suffering. Why on earth would you wish that on anyone? Least of all people you love more than anything.....

I'm terrified of what we are all heading into, why aren't you?

I'm not terrified of what we're heading into because I don't think the next generation will be the last by a long shot. I think the Earth and humanity will last for a lot, lot longer. I also don't think my children will experience /see great suffering. They have lovely childhoods and I think they'll have lovely adulthoods. You sound very anxious Catwaving. I hope you find some peace

Well that's fantastic, you clearly live in fantasy land

I'd love to read what you are reading, where on Earth (if it is Earth) are you getting your information from because I've spend thousands of hours trawling information from all over the worldnd talking with people who are doing the same, and we're all definitely seeing something very different

In all seriousness where are you getting your information from?
(Or are you one of those with their heads in the sand so they can carry on selfishly enjoying themselves regardless? - I get that by the way, possibly the only way to cope with a very real existential threat to oneself and ones children without dissolving into despair)

You all have too many kids. Climate emergency dear me.

You may be proud but most people in these times won’t look at a large family indulgently and think how marvellous they all are. Those days are gone. They will think negatively about your over consumption of finite resources.

Most have large families where I live. So they obviously do think they're marvelous. My best friend has 6 children. My neighbour has 9. One Mum at school has 10. Most people I know have 4/5/6. It's normal where I'm from and it looks like it's normal where the OP is from too. Speaking of the OP, it looks like this tread has become the 'me thread' instead 😂 it's a good job I'm not a narcissist or I'd be loving all this attention.

Where are you from? Sounds really odd

Lol I live in a very multicultural city. It's mainly Catholic and Muslim, hence the lots of kids. But I know people of no religion who have lots of kids too. Just one example is my current midwife who isn't religious but has 5 kids.

Where have you got your info that the world is going to end with the next generation?!

You just have to open your eyes and ears

It's everywhere

In case you are genuinely asking, for a nice gentle start into the truth of what's happening, try David Attenborough's "The Facts" you can see it on YouTube......

I'm from a Catholic background and know LOADS of Catholic families in several parts of the UK. I can honestly say I have only known one family with 6 plus children. Most UK Catholics use birth control these days regardless of what the Pope says! We're not in the 1950s anymore. I'm intrigued where you are that the Catholics all have big families? Are you friends with Jacob Rees Mogg by any chance? By the way - simply HAVING babies nothing to be proud of per say. For the majority of women its simply a matter of having sex then 9 months later you give birth - there is no great skill involved, its not anything you should be proud of that you've managed to procreate 7 times. If you have a functioning vagina, womb and ovaries, are the right age with a partner with functioning sperm, for most people its difficult. Obviously bringing up the child thereafter is a different matter which does take lots of skill and hard work and love - thats the bit to be proud of. If you really love your children you should take your head out of wherever you've had it buried for the last several years and be more aware of what is happening that WILL affect their future. You might not judge yourself, but i can assure you whatever people say to your face, anybody with any intelligence about sciece and current affairs that you meet WILL judge you. Maybe stop at number 7 eh?

Not difficult!

I couldn't care less if people judge me. I am proud. I'll stop when I decide to. I'll probably only have one more after the one I'm pregnant with at the moment is born as I'll be 43 then.

For the majority of women its simply a matter of having sex then 9 months later you give birth - there is no great skill involved, its not anything you should be proud of...If you have a functioning vagina, womb and ovaries, are the right age with a partner with functioning sperm, for most people its difficult.

That's very insensitive to anyone having problems. In trying to hurt me, and failing, I imagine you've hurt anyone struggling.

Seems an odd old fashioned mindset. No one in our area seems to have more than 3 at most majority have 1 or 2. It’s really not something to be proud of. We don’t need more people - quite the opposite

We don’t need more people - quite the opposite

If that's what your opinion then you shouldn't have any children. It's not mine, so I will.