To think buying things for a baby doesn't cause miscarriage

[AliceAbsolum]

Newly pregnant, due in July. Thrilled. My mum said to me yesterday "Now don't start buying anything until after spring next year, you'll jinx it".

Sorry what?

Is this a 'boomer' thing?

I mean I don't intend to have the pram downstairs ready to go for 6 months and a fully decorated nursery, but getting the odd thing, especially in the January sales seems sensible to me

I wouldn't buy a thing until 30 weeks. That's what maternity leave is for surely.

that might be reasonable caution, but many women try to start their leave as late as possible, and it takes time for some items to be delivered - so might be worth buying a few essentials like the car seat not too late either!

Well, obviously it doesn't

And as for that being a boomer thing- eh?

Different people have different approaches to pregnancy/baby stuff buying

I personally waited til late 2nd trimester to buy things

No specific reason, I just really busy at work, and our home wasn't that big so didn't want to clutter it up before it was really necessary!

Congratulations on your pregnancy

Those boomers are the very people who perfected the science that has enabled the OP to carry a child, but don’t let that stop you insulting them eh

In the nicest way possible, your mum is chatting shyte. I bought nothing because of this stupid superstition (plus I had zero time to actually shop while doing 50hrs a week😑) and then DD arrived 13 weeks early and had nothing to wear, no nursery or a buggy. If I ever have another one, I'm buying everything immediately I think lol.

It us not a boomer thing at all - like another PP I dislike this comment about anything odd. My MIL, born 1925, told me I shouldn't have a pram in the house until after the birth, she had this superstition handed down from her mum who was probably born just before the 20th century - not a baby-boomer at all.

I waited till after my 20 week scan. We went up to mothercare and bought a cute little going home outfit set for my dd. I am pregnant now with my 2nd and I will resist until the 20 week scan again. It’s totally up to the individual but personally I left the bigger items pushchair/Moses basket/ car seat till later. I am much more chilled this pregnancy, but still feeling just as sick!

Gen X's meanwhile are the perfect ones

We're great

My baby was stillborn and one of the things that made it marginally less awful was that I hadn’t bought a thing. Mostly because I was superstitious. But I was thankful because coming home with no baby to a house full of baby things would have been too much.
You have to do what you feel is right and of course buying things doesn’t cause baby loss. But baby loss exists and sometimes women feel they need to acknowledge that by being wary.
I’m sure you’ll have a gorgeous healthy child and be pleased you were so well prepared.
The boomer thing is irrelevant

30 weeks is at least 7 weeks before you will be bringing the baby home....I am sure sitting here I could get a car seat delivered within 24 hours if I needed to.

Yanbu, But maybe she had miscarriages and doesn’t wasn’t you too hurt like she did.

My mum said when she was pregnant the doctor wouldn't even confirm it until you had missed two periods minimum, with no scans the uncertainty would have been higher. It must have been difficult, no idea if pregnancy was viable, if the baby had a disability, limited access to midwife care...
But you know better op, let's mock the women who lived through that and their silt superstitions.

*silly

I just come into the baby boomer age group at the earliest level, being born in 1948 and I remember this being around when my brothers' and sisters' children were born, children who would also be baby boomers - brothers and sisters were all quite a bit older than me and my own parents were quite old when I was born.

So no it's not a 'boomer' thing, it's been around for generations. Probably started when miscarriage was a far more common thing than it is now and had its basis in the idea that as many babies were lost, it was better to wait to buy things once the baby was more likely to survive.

I imagine it was based on a wish to avoid distress for the pregnant women in the event of miscarriage rather than the belief that buying things too early caused miscarriage.

But don't let facts deter you from the use of casual ageism.

I didn't buy anything until after about 30 weeks. Not superstition, I just didn't want stuff around if anything went wrong. Loss at any stage is heartbreaking and coming back to a house full of baby things would have been hard.

OP you are sounding quite insensitive with your remarks in places.

i waited until my 20 week scan. I had a miscarriage with the previous one and was heartbroken.

your mums right OP sorry!! i would wait. its a long long time being pregnant. or feels it anyhow

30 weeks is at least 7 weeks before you will be bringing the baby home....I am sure sitting here I could get a car seat delivered within 24 hours if I needed to.

I am sure you can!

My travel system took 6 weeks to be delivered though- as advised when I ordered it, and I wouldn't have wanted to track one on the last week hoping for the baby not to arrive too early.

Furniture took some time too, there's a happy medium.

Furniture ?!! you people live in a different world to me.

30 weeks is at least 7 weeks before you will be bringing the baby home...
Yeah cos who doesn't want to sit in NICU trying to arrange delivery of large items when they're barely leaving the ward to pee! I couldn't imagine the extra agro of trying to get at least a travel system, moses basket and functional bits delivered to a home I hadn't visited in weeks

saraclara

My daughter and her husband had absolutely everything bought and set up well before the baby was due. The car seat was fixed in the car a month before, and the crib set up. It freaked me out.

I’m surprised you find this freaky! I’m 36wk currently with my first, we didn’t buy anything until 30wk (purely because we didn’t see the point in starting earlier and having the stuff laid around the house) but we assembled the cot in the nursery and had the car seat fitted around 33-34wk. That seems normal to me, and sensible given that preterm labour happens to people. We figured if we have him early then having things set up is one less stressor to deal with.

I find it odd when people have finished preparations before 20wk or earlier, when they have so much more time left to go, but surely 36wk (a month before birth like you are shocked at) is a pretty reasonable time to have things ready? They’re classed as term at 37wk.

I can see why people are superstitious about it, 1 in 4 pregnancies sadly end in a loss, so it's not some hugely uncommon thing, and it may well happen around the time people start buying baby bits, but of course it's not the buying of things that cause a pregnancy loss. My friend thought I was mad for having a pram in the house when I was pregnant because it was bad luck. Baby was fine and to this day years after her birth, is just fine

Furniture ?!! you people live in a different world to me.
You're an anti furniture house??

Furniture ?!! you people live in a different world to me.

I know, instead of plonking baby in a drawer I bought a cot, and also bought a changing table (saved my back) and, shocking, a wardrobe to put their clothes in.

It's a shocking concept, but some of us are extravagant like that

hopefulhalf

What does that mean? We’re expecting our first and ordered a Moses basket, is that odd to you?

AryaStarkWolf totally agree!

Lol glad to see others jumping on that bizarre comment at the same time as me 😂