To think buying things for a baby doesn't cause miscarriage

[AliceAbsolum]

Newly pregnant, due in July. Thrilled. My mum said to me yesterday "Now don't start buying anything until after spring next year, you'll jinx it".

Sorry what?

Is this a 'boomer' thing?

I mean I don't intend to have the pram downstairs ready to go for 6 months and a fully decorated nursery, but getting the odd thing, especially in the January sales seems sensible to me

It is completely up to you when you start to buy things for the baby but bear in mind the comments on this thread before buying too much too soon. I hope everything goes well. As for the whyareboomerslikethat site, what bollocks. Jeremy Corbyn, Theresa May, Nigel Farage, Princess Anne, Caroline Lucas, Madonna, etc etc. How are these people similar? Stupid to stereotype and dismiss any generation.

Whats a boomer ?

Runs and hides.

Yeah, those boomers - the ones that voted to leave the European Union? The European Union that issued a directive ensuring that all working women in the UK had the right to paid maternity leave because at the time we lagged so far behind other European countries on maternity rights? And also issued a directive prohibiting employment discrimination?

If we’d never joined 40 years ago who knows what laws would or wouldn’t be in place. .Womens right to paid maternity leave mean fuck all if you can’t find a job or are on zero hour contracts anyway.

YABU for saying it’s a boomer thing.

No buying stuff won’t cause you to miscarry. Yes it’s superstition but as numerous people have pointed out, also for the very valid reason of if the worst happens it would make it worse to have to see and deal with all the baby paraphernalia.

Do what you want. I chose to wait- because getting rid of things was a more painful prospect than buying them nearer the due date. It's a choice, and word of the week 'boomer' tag is getting bloody old..............

back to the thread, it's not a pleasant way to mock someone and accuse them of "superstition" when they are just trying to save you from heartache - and as your mum, I am sure she wishes you never go through it.

Of course buying things don’t cause miscarriage. Unfortunately the reality is that 1 in 4 pregnancies end. It’s up to you but I personally didn’t buy anything except 1 babygrow until 20 weeks.

Congratulations

Some baby boomers were at Greenham common. Some faught for part time workers to be able to pay into work pension schemes and for maternity rights. Other baby boomers sat in their cushy house and never gave a thought to any of this. Some voted for Brexit, others did not. Stop generalising. There are visionaries and nobs , selfish and unselfish in every generation.( I did not vote for fucking Brexit and I will not vote for BJ) OP, I wish you the best with your pregnancy, I really do, but think before you stereotype people.

Not a 'boomer' thing since I'm only 23 and I don't like to buy anything early.

The only thing I bought for my second pregnancy was a little yellow Jellycat bunny when I was about 11 weeks along. When I came home from my first scan I found it had arrived in the post - fucking awful timing as we'd just that morning been told our baby appeared seriously ill and needed further tests. She had full Turners Syndrome and growing hydrops and wasn't going to make it. We had to terminate a week later.

I shut that bunny up in a drawer still in its packaging and didn't look at it for a good while afterwards. Too painful.

Although I'm pleased to say its now eight months later and bunny eventually emerged and is currently waiting in my baby hospital bag - I'm nearly 33 weeks with a healthy little girl.

Pasta- it may be hormones, but that made me cry at the end, so pleased for you and for bunny.

I'm nearly 33 weeks with a healthy little girl.

I am sure she'll look lovely with her little bunny

Back in the olden days when I was pregnant, you ordered your pram, but didn't put have it delivered until you came out of hospital.

No it is not a boomer thing. But she is old enough like me that she will have seen women buy things for the baby and then have a miscarriage.
I personally would not have bought anything at your stage of pregnancy. Most miscarriages happen in the first 3 months. The advice I grew up with was wait until after 3 months have passed. I know you are nearly there.

Pasta congratulations and lovely little bunny

@AliceAbsolum
I've seen you on a few of the IVF threads before and noted that this is the first time you've been pregnant and that on another thread you considered the miscarriage statistics pretty favourable and weren't as stressed out as others.....

I think the 1 in 4 statistic is actually wrong - not sure how old you are but in my friend/colleague/acquaintance age group 35-40 I'd say 3 out of 4 have suffered miscarriage.

I think you'd feel differently and be more cautious if you had suffered pregnancy loss before x

The whole point of my post was to point out that buying baby stuff early doesn't necessarily mean that it's never going to be used even if you do miscarry. A lot of people will try again and have a healthy subsequent pregnancy, particularly after an early loss

Just feel I needed to address this point as you may feel differently in that situation. I bought a few items for my son who I lost at 21 weeks but found it really difficult to use them for my daughter who came along a year later. I couldn’t help thinking ‘my son never got to wear/use this’. The sentimental part of me didn’t want me to get rid of anything and the pragmatic side didn’t want me to buy anything new when we already had a perfectly good one. It was a conflict I hadn’t anticipated.

I'm probably a boomer, @AliceAbsolum - and when I was first pregnant, aged 37, there was a fifty percent chance of a pregnancy ending in miscarriage in the first 3 months. So don't blame it on the boomers. Thank your lucky stars things are different for you. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted For sure. I had a donor egg and she was 21 so that works in my favour a bit more.

I don't know. Life's hard, we all just try to get through the best way we can. Just don't like to live my life on the small chance something bad will happen.

I’m 23 and I never bought anything for my baby until the last few weeks because of the superstition. No need for that ‘boomer’ shit

Op that does improve the odds. I wasn’t cautious before my first mc which did hit me hard, and the second even harder. But worrying doesn’t change the outcome. Nothing does so do whatever you feel ok with.

I'm not a boomer but worked in SCBU around the time of my pregnancies I wouldn't buy a thing until 30 weeks. That's what maternity leave is for surely.

It's superstitious, you either bother with it or not.
been around for hundreds of years, nothing to do with "boomers"
Why would it have?

I had a miscarriage in the summer, I'm pregnant again now and my mom keeps telling me I shouldn't even be speaking about it because I'll 'jinx it' - annoys me so much like I'm not worried enough already. If someone is going to have a miscarriage they'll have one whether they speak about or buy things for the baby or not!

@beanaseireann - it's the new shite insult of the moment- OK Boomer" is a catchphrase and internet meme that gained popularity among younger cohorts throughout 2019, used to dismiss or mock attitudes stereotypically attributed to the baby boomer generation.