This is racist aibu to dump

[Shinnoo]

We are both white.

Bf described an annoying customer to me as an 'angry little Indian man'.

When I said that is totally unacceptable, he said well he was angry and he was of South Indian descent so what I supposed to say?

And I was like errr if you're going to use diminutive , negative words before an ethnic description that is racism and is totally unacceptable to me.

He said i always have to watch my ps and qs with you

Wtaf??

That's racist, end of. I can't think of one of my BAME friends who wouldn't consider that racist. And what exactly did his ethnicity have to do with what happened to make your BF angry?
I'd explain to him it's not to do with Ps and bloody Q's - he's not 95 and a bit set in his ways apparently so he's able top listen and consider why it is racist.

'I'm in Ireland and would say angry little Dub if describing an angry little Dublin person or angry little Cork man or angry little German man or whatever it is. '

Being a Dub is not an ethnicity. FFS.

We recently described a white British car salesman as an angry little wing nut. (Not to his face I should add.)

He was tiny, and his ears were very prominent. He was also an arrogant & belligerent bastard and it's the only dealership we won't be returning to because of someone's behaviour.

You could argue that "little" and "wing nut" constitute body shaming.

You’d be right. It’s a cruel and personal insult picking on his physical attributes which are irrelevant to his behaviour. I’m not sure why you’ve given this as an example when trying to prove the original statement isn’t problematic.

My DH is "The English bloke" in our tiny Scottish village now. If he had used the P word that would have been derogatory.

I honestly don’t believe you can’t understand the difference between these phrases.

No-one comes home and calmly declaims, "on the 20th day of November, I served a tall English man who was an absolute pleasure to deal with". However, if said man is a complete pain in the neck, suddenly it's , "I had a lanky Londoner/plummy-voiced toff/Brummie today". Why is that?

Because if they are an arsehole and Not Our Tribe it is human nature to want to point out the latter as a means of confirming the former. Arsehole. Other.
Yep- racist.

stupid little woman

I believe the commonly used phrase is "silly wee bitch".

I'm white British, born in England and female.
If I were described as "angry little person", I'd not find it offensive other than being personally upset/annoyed.
However, "angry little woman"; "angry little Brit"; "angry little English"; "angry little Englishwoman" would all be massively offensive to me.
Not to mention racist and sexist.

*When I worked at a corporate firm in central London my best friend at work was originally from Ghana, so a black woman.

One day I came down to find her for lunch and she wasn't in her office. We had a new temp receptionist who I went to ask if she'd seen my friend.

I started to ask if she'd seen X.
She didn't know any names, 'what does she look like?'

The receptionist was black too and I found myself totally unable to say 'she's the black one' in case she found it racist.

'She's a lawyer. Dark hair, brown eyes, pretty, about my height, wears suits, funny laugh, ummmm...'

She gave me some serious side-eye. 'You mean the black one?'

My friend found it hilarious and since she regularly refers to the 'loud Scottish lady' or the 'French man with the odd hair' genuinely can't understand why liberal white people tie themselves into such knots to avoid using a descriptive word in an innocent setting.*

It is the setting which is key. In the example given above, telling the receptionist that her friend was black was useful in helping her to figure out who she was looking for.

99% of the time, when race/ethnicity/nationality is used, it is not a necessary descriptor.

From the OP's post, it does not sound like any descriptor was necessary at all. 'He was just such an angry man!' would have sufficed. Or, indeed even just 'He was just so angry!'. It doesn't sound like she needed any further info about how he looked, his size, his nationality, or any other descriptor as she has no need to be able to identify him in the future!

So adding 'little Indian man' to it, did indeed make it racist. It was an unnecessary addition.

It must be exhausting going through life pretending to be outraged and offended at everything.

Yes, so exhausting answering a question on an online forum...

Honestly I think you're over thinking this. If I heard someone described as an angry little Scottish man, or angry little French man I wouldn't bat an eye. I think your projecting a little.

Being a Dub is not an ethnicity. FFS.

Are all Indians the same ethnicity?

Pb but "Eastern European" covers a range of countries, and there are no specific distinguishing features. When I have read the sorts of threads I mentioned, you can guarantee that within 5 posts someone will mention illegal immigrants/gypsies/migrants.

Three white men with European accents is factual. Three Eastern European looking men isn't. I've googled "Eastern European man" and visually they are remarkably similar to many men in many countries globally.

I thought Indian was a nationality, like English or Japanese.

Can you tell someone’s nationality just by looking?

Being a Dub is not an ethnicity. FFS.

Maybe he is an idiot like me then and was just using it to say where he was from rather than to describe his ethnicity. If I said someone was Indian I was be saying they are from India, like my sils lodger, she is Indian, a person from India. The same way my sil is a Dub, a person from Dublin or my Mum is English a person from England or my friend is Korean, a person from Korea. It just describes where they are from, not everything people say has to run deep.
People keep saying you wouldn't say that white angry person, but I wouldn't say that brown angry person either, nor would I be using Indian as some kind of code for brown, I would literally mean a person from India.

Can you tell someone’s nationality just by looking?

I'm guessing the bloke spoke too? You can often tell where people are from by their accents can't you? You can't really tell where I'm from because I've moved around a lot my accent is a bit weird but you can tell my husband and kids are Irish by speaking to them.

@PandaPantaloon But he didn't know that he definitely came from India, he just assumed. Do you see the distinction? Also, who is to say HE is "from India"? He may have been born in the UK, and be second or third generation.

That, is why it is racist to assume.

I thought Indian was a nationality, like English or Japanese.

After someone saying that 'Indian is an ethnicity ffs' I had to google that because I thought I was going bonkers, yeah it is a nationality. Like English or Japanese.

On Masterchef last night there was a woman who moved from Thailand to Northern Ireland with her Thai mother when she was 15. She tasted some Vermouth, shuddered and said “‘Tis too strong for me, so it is” What’s her nationality?

If I met someone with a Northern Irish accent and was describing her to someone else in a conversation I would say I met this Northern Irish one earlier. Maybe you get it wrong sometimes but I don't think people are so touchy that they would care would they? I wouldn't be offended if someone assumed I was Irish, I wasn't born here but I grew up here, speak the language etc.

Can you tell someone’s nationality just by looking?

No, but I am confused by the people using Indian as ethnicity when I didn't think it was.

It doesn't reflect well OP. Have you ever actually sat down with him and discussed his opinions on race, ethnicity, women's equality or say, immigration. I would be doing so asap to get a true reflection of his opinions. I too would dump if there was the whiff of bigotry.

On Masterchef last night there was a woman who moved from Thailand to Northern Ireland with her Thai mother when she was 15. She tasted some Vermouth, shuddered and said “‘Tis too strong for me, so it is” What’s her nationality?

Irish? Nationality is about where you were born and grew up or where you call home. So ethnicity wise you could be black African but nationality could be Swedish for example if they call Sweden their "home" or have Swedish passport etc.

Seriously my message got deleted for saying that the ‘n’ word should only be used by black people?! 🙄

It’s funny how those challenging racism are being silenced here.

So ethnically thia but nationality Irish would be my guess