To sleep with as many people as I wish

[ambiencing]

DP, his sister, mum, dad and I were all having a conversation regarding virginity after talking about people calling for the age of consent to be lowered.

It went onto the topic of how many people (average) one will sleep with in their lifetime. My DP's dad that he felt sorry for me, having slept with "so many" people at aged (almost) 20. And asked what had made my self worth so low. I was stunned into silence, but now I really want to say something. This was only a couple of hours ago, but DP thinks I just just leave it.

AIBU to be furious?

Yes, I do sleep with whoever I want

Even if you are already in a relationship with someone?

If this even happened

I wouldn't confront him about his response. You're free to sleep with as many people as you like but other people are also free to have their opinion, he just said it out loud. Challenging him on that isn't going to change his views.

^This. Get over it OP and move on

Does it matter?

Your DP's dad probably comes from a generation where sex was seen as being between married couples (though where I came from there were a few who were known to be promiscuous). Sex outside marriage was fround on. Times move on and reading MN you understand that lots of people simply regard sex as a fun pasttime, to be enjoyed when and where they want. Just be careful of STIs or pregnancy (possible unwanted side effects).

If I ever have a teenage daughter, she will be able to do whatever she pleases with her body so long as nobody is getting hurt and she is being safe.

Surely having sex with multiple partners makes the chances of her getting hurt much higher?

Honestly, I think this does show a level of immaturity - both the bragging about the number and in front of his parents.

Ginfordinner

Obviously not. Some basic common sense wouldn't go amiss.

Hearhoover

I said if she was being safe, it would be her body and I can't police that.

I'm unsure how it shows a level of immaturity. It wasn't bragging. How is stating a number, when the four other people that you are with, have also shared the same information before you?

@JoObrien7
Tinder isn’t full of married men and liars.
I found quite a lot of single men on there looking for fun or relationships.
And yes single not hiding anything.
We went to their place. We met at random times day and night. I could call and arrange a meet at anytime. Even knock on doors when I was in the neighbourhood. Friends still with some.

Yes there are married people and liars on there. Just like elsewhere.

Did we ever get a number from you OP? If your number is close to his sons and he made no comment about that then he is being misogynistic. If you number is much higher, he may just be being judgemental. He is entitled to comment seeing as you were ‘sharing’.

Either way, the time to address it was at the time. I would leave it. I agree with others it is a very odd conversation to have with your boyfriends parents.

ambiencing

If you are having sex with people that you don't know, or barely know, then how is that safe? How can a 16 year old be safe having sex with just anyone? That's quite bizarre that you think that and don't see risks.

And of course it's immature - how many times have you heard mature adults discussing the number of notches on their bedpost? It's not a conversation to be having and certainly not with your bfs parents. It crosses boundaries in a very weird way.

How many of you know about your teen dds sex life?
I don’t. They could be sleeping around then or now as adults.
I don’t know. They know about safe sex and the consequences. What they do with the info is entirely up to them. And this includes my sons.

The op could be any of your dc’s who hasn’t as yet discussed her number with you

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras there have been several threads on here asking what’s your number.

Are all those who responded immature?

I find people who use twee words for body parts immature
Those who cannot discuss sex even after having children immature.

Hearhoovers

Not at any point did I say that the sex was with people that were barely known? You've come up with that yourself.

And it's a VERY common conversation has between adults. You just seem like a prude.

It's very different discussing it on an anonymous internet forum (though even then I don't see the point. It's private information. No one else needs to know it) and then discussing it with family.

The op is immature if she didn't realise the potential put falls of putting this information out there. She can't control other people's judgements.

If she doesn't care well then, crack on, tell whoever she likes but clearly she does care and is upset about the comments or she wouldn't have started this thread.

My number is 11, DP number is 9.

Again, I didn't say that I didn't expect judgment. I just didn't except one that was misogynistic. Same as I wouldn't expect a racist response for someone giving their opinion.

I'd imagined a much bigger number based on his comments.

Yanbu to be angry if 11 is your number.

🤣 11 is that it?

Yes, that's it.

Not at any point did I say that the sex was with people that were barely known? You've come up with that yourself.

How well do you know multiple tens of men? Seriously? I wouldn't say that I've known 100 people really well in my entire life and I'm 50.

And it's a VERY common conversation has between adults. You just seem like a prude.

Maybe amongst certain people but not amongst the people that I associate with. And it seems that you yourself don't have a problem with judging people or name calling so it's a bit hypocritical to complain about someone judging you.

I’m not laughing at you. Just his reaction and some of the reactions on here and the assumption you were a lot nighter 🤣

Although I suspect some will think it’s still 10 too many

11!!

So why all the drama and not saying that earlier? You've let this rumble on for 14 pages with only hinting at how high the number might be just to get more reactions.

Yep, immature

Knowing people enough isn’t that hard. You start making friends at school. And then throughout your life.
You meet friends through friends.
Through work.
Before you know it you’ve met hundreds of people on your lifetime.

I could be drunk to the point of passing out and I guarantee you I would never participate in this discussion with my in-laws or indeed my own parents. 100% guarantee on that one!

This thread is pure attention seeking. Ffs people have different opinions about sex. That’s it. He is entitled to think 11 is a lot, and he’s entitled to equate sexual partners with self worth - I personally do and I regret choices I’ve made when younger and lacking in self worth. I absolutely wouldn’t discuss my sexual history with in-laws because it’s fucking weird, and I wouldn’t be offended if people judged me for my sexual history because it’s such a personal and subjective topic. This thread reminds me of someone I know who is very insecure and keeps a list of the number of partners she’s had on her phone and often gets it out and tries to get you to be interested in it/ask how many etc.

Yes you meet people but you don't know all of those people well enough to be at your most vulnerable with.

I talk to my work colleagues every day but I don't really know them. You know them on a social level not an intimate level and do you really want to be shagging every man in your workplace?