To sleep with as many people as I wish

[ambiencing]

DP, his sister, mum, dad and I were all having a conversation regarding virginity after talking about people calling for the age of consent to be lowered.

It went onto the topic of how many people (average) one will sleep with in their lifetime. My DP's dad that he felt sorry for me, having slept with "so many" people at aged (almost) 20. And asked what had made my self worth so low. I was stunned into silence, but now I really want to say something. This was only a couple of hours ago, but DP thinks I just just leave it.

AIBU to be furious?

Oh god I would not want to talk to my IL’s about this, nor would I wish to hear about many people FIL had slept with. Grim.

I'm sore OP is now thinking carefully about her drinking habits if these are the kind of conversations she has with in laws whilst tipsy. I'd take this as lesson learned for the festival season ahead!

@sanmiguel or maybe as FIL thinks OP is so young then he should know better than have these conversations 29 year olds? He sounds like a perv.

These conversations with 20 year olds

I wouldn't want my kids having lots of sexual partners and i speak as someone who's had a fairly colourful past myself. I just don't think random multiple shagging is a route to happiness (for most not all!)

@Havaina none of them appear to be covering themselves in glory here. I wouldn't say perv, otherwise the same has to be applied to all surely? ..but I would say highly unnecessary conversation with kid's partner and not the kind of family I'd be wanting to spend time with if this is the usual after a few drinks.

I mean work colleagues on a Christmas night out... yes. Group of girl friends.... yes. But In-laws? Honestly, why would this even vaguely crop up in conversation in that kind of social setting?

I’m with your in laws and Vulpine. I think it’s an odd conversation but I think my children would not want a partner that was promiscuous and I would discourage them from becoming entangled with someone who found maintaining a relationship a challenge.
I think hedonism in any guise is rarely of benefit to anyone.

Who even started this convo and why why why?! I talk as a woman who has had many conversations about sexual numbers, mainly due to my husband having a history as a holiday rep from 18 to mid 20s, BUT WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE IN THE RIGHT SETTING.

Granted it’s not something I would share with my own in laws but I think the way people are berating the OP is awful. For all we know it was FIL who introduced the subject. It wouldn’t surprise me given his misogynistic stance of only slut shaming a 20 year old female and not his own son.

Yabu.

According to self proclaimed shaman to the rich and famous, Durek Verret multitiudes of pen ises cause imprints inside the vag ina, and bad spirits may enter. He can cleanse you though, so fear not.

He can cleanse you though,

Why am a certain that he uses his "cleansing penis" to do it?

Such a weird conversation to have with your parents or somone elses ... but you've done it and hopefully learn.

Personally, I feel it is desperately sad when people think they have to sleep with so many people to prove to themselves they are lovable, but that's just one view

I wouldn't be happy if my son or daughter either had had a high number of sexual partners themselves or were with someone who had. Hopefully I wouldn't know either way though!

Drunk and talking about sex with your in-laws at 16:30 on a Wednesday afternoon?

sure.

Everyone knows that only happens on Mondays.

If your partner has only slept with two less people than you, and that is not enough to significantly change the average (eg if he has slept with 2 and you have slept with 4 you have slept with significantly more, whereas if he has slept with 28 and you have slept with 30 it's more or less the same) then yes it's misogynistic.

Anything he says to you about sex that he wouldn't say to his son of the same age is misogynistic.

However, the moment has passed now so I wouldn't confront him, but people like this usually display this kind of behaviour lots of times so I would wait for him to do it again and say something. He should be made aware of the double standard.

"Fuck me, that's a lot!" is an honest reaction.
"What made your self worth so low" is a nasty judgemental comment, designed to shame.

Did the father say his son's (who is sexually active too presumably) self worth was linked to his virginity or lack of?

Anthropologically women who can only bear a limited number of children over a lifetime should be very careful in selecting mates.
Obviously wth te advert of reliable birth control this us different now, but for good or bad general opinion has not changed. Promiscuous women are viewed with suspicion at best, disgust at worst

Im all for hedonism! Just not copious copulation with randoms

The dads an asshole and sounds like a weird family to be discussing this. But please in future if you are ever part of these conversations, just don't engage in it.

The HPV virus is rife with sexual contact and having procedures later in life is no fun.

I think hedonism in any guise is rarely of benefit to anyone.

I’m glad I’m not dragging myself through such a dull, buttoned-up little ‘life’.

Why is there a lot of assumption if you sleep around you will have various std's?

I find those with lower numbers are least likely to get tested.

How many threads have there been about not getting tested between relationships? Even some are a surprised that ex from 7 years ago might have passed something on.

It doesn't matter if you have fucked 1 or 100 people. You need to get tested for your own health. And yes even you in relationships lol.

Surely if condoms are used the incidence of HPV virus is lessened. The op is young, I imagine she would have insisted on condom use because her generation were brought up to consider that normal.

Hpv can still be passed on with a condom.
Condoms don't protect against swallowing cum.

If I had my life to lead again I’d go on Tinder and find heaps of sex partners. I think I over romanticised and mystified sex in my 20s. It’s important and it should be treated with some seriousness but it’s also fun.

OP, I get you were caught on the hop but ideally you’d have asked why he’s asking you that question and not your male partner. It is misogynistic, and slut shaming.