Friend taking illness again, after being told I'm on the 2 week pathway

[Lumpybumps1]

I have a friend of several years who has form for fabricating illness, twice she has been caught out feigning cancer symptoms and fabricating appointments and diagnosises before back tracking after questions are asked and making miraculous recoveries claiming the doctors had got it wrong. I stuck by her despite having strong opinions on her behaviour because I suspect there may be an underlying MH problem, I don't know. Members of her family have caught her out before.

This week I've been referred urgently on the 2 week pathway for a scan and further investigation, In my case they are looking for lymphoma. I have a thread in health and have been receiving some fab support (thank you all)

This friend now knows about my investigations and is suddenly "being admitted into hospital" tomorrow despite there being nothing wrong with her. No mention of bad health this year until my doctor has concerns about me, now suddenly she's at deaths door again. Lung cancer this time. (Another friend who lives closer to her than I do has confirmed there's nothing wrong, perfectly healthy as usual)

I'm deeply hurt that she's doing this again, and doing it off the back of my legitimate health problems.

I want to say something but I'm not confrontational. Would you say anything?

I'm wishing I cut her off before, but it feels so personal and heartless now as she knows what I'm going through.

Faking cancer is ducking disgusting. Horrible disease. Lung cancer took my dad 2 years ago, bowel cancer took my husbands grandfather. Your “friend” is a disgrace. I’d have nothing to do with her ever again. Hope all goes well with your tests @Lumpybumps1.

How long until your appointment, Lumpy? Have you got family and friends nearby who can support you?

She's not your friend. Never was. You aren't doing yourself any good keeping this going, keeping talking about her, giving it oxygen. Shut it down and relax. The stress will not help your own wellbeing and recovery. As you know from your previous troubles with her. Back away, block everywhere so she can't wind you up and you aren't tempted to keep checking and re reading messages. Its not healthy for you either. Yes everyone is outraged for you, but there's nothing you can say to her that will change her behaviour, so stop. Look at your boundaries, that she has trampled all over. Raise them, high, leave her alone, so that she will leave you alone, eventually.

I forgot to add!

The whole sepsis thing to begin with.. she said it was because of her teeth, she has dental problems at the minute.

So she has sepsis of the heart lining.. because of her teeth

Kanga that is a bloody brilliant idea.

I'm still waiting for my appointment but it should arrive in the next couple of days. I called my GP surgery to chase it up and they confirmed the referral has been received and the hospital will contact me directly, so not long now.

I do have some support from my DM :)

Brigid you do raise a good point

How funny would it be too text her, let her reply that her lung cancer/ heart attack / sepsis has resulted in limb amputation then knock on her door and remark how fast they doctors reconstructed her limbs

She is very sad. Maybe you need to mention that you might have Canine distemper and see if she contracts it too?

I hope your results come back all clear. Some people are breathtaking for all the wrong reasons

You can actually get pericarditis- inflammation of heart lining from dental infection.... I know she’s lying but she’s done some research! Just badly....

What a vile woman. I'd definitely have to text something letting her know you know she's lying. Otherwise, it would piss me off that she thought she "got away with it".

With regards to a few mentions of personality disorders - it could very well be that she's just a lying c*nt. I find it a bit shit that every time someone is manipulative personality disorder is thrown into the mix. This coming from someone with a PD (who has never & would never behave like that)!

Eugh. She’s unbelievable. I would be blocking her and cutting all contact. Life’s too short for pandering to people like that.

Wow, she's something isn't she? You can't doorstep her, but if you can be bothered you could always send her something by recorded delivery. When she signs for it you can see the signature on Royal Mail's website. Undeniable proof she's at home...

Reads like a soap drama

^^ I agree.
Some people do thrive off other people’s dramatics. I wonder if this individual has had multiple people in her life who’ve been like this.

Ask the random other friends if they know what ward she is on as you would like to send flowers.

I bet she’ll suddenly announce she is being discharged when the ask for details.

Are you talking about the OP, Schuyler?

I hope not- she's going through a very difficult time just now.

I don’t know the OP, she seems sweet enough (think she’s silly for not blocking but I appreciate she has her reasons) but some people are likely thriving off the drama in this woman’s life as people have consistently engaged with her. If they didn’t give her any attention or headspace, she might be forced to move on. If that makes more sense?

Oh yes, absolutely.

OP said this ” Multiple people who've known her much longer than I have reiterate not to believe a word of it, she does it to the soft touches who will listen. She is a pathological liar, their words. This is the third time I personally have had her do this to me so you can imagine how many times those who've known her longer have heard it.” which prompted my comments about others thriving off drama especially those soft touches who, I’m sure, are well meaning but not actually helping this woman. I have a family member who loves to throw a drama shitfit of lies and the only way she’s got better from it, was for us to complete disengage; ignored messages and phone calls. Like a child, she finally figured out how to get positive attention and she’s occasionally a drama llama but she doesn’t lie in the way she used to. People thought they were being kind by listening to her weep and wail down the phone about her made up ailments but actually, we all did her a favour when we went no contact for a period of time.

Yes, I definitely see what you mean.

Run for the hills. She is not helping you get well. Knew somebody like that, it does not get better. Cut it off.

Just realized I’m on your other thread, @Lumpybumps1. No wonder you don’t want to bother with her drama..... Bet she hasn’t been a stellar friend in other aspects of your life, either. Perhaps you just need to suggest that you are the friend from the old cliche our mothers used to use all the time who is going to jump off the bridge - and see if she jumps off one too.

Right now OP you'd be better blocking her and the others she gets to contact you about her, so you don't keep looking. Part of it is winding you up. Whilst it might be distracting to talk about her and to get annoyed with her, it's not going to help you keep calm and steady to deal with the worry and stress of the investigations you have in these two+ weeks

Totally placemarking- this is amazing

Is your friend who lives closer able to go round to see if she's at home? I know you have plenty more important things to bother with at the moment, but it would be good to call her out.

One of my best friend's Aunts has Munchausens. It has been officially diagnosed. One of the features of Munchausens is that they disbelieve real illness in others and sometimes themselves. She doesn't believe their mum has dementia and will even accuse her of fabricating the symptoms. All the while, she could be making up illnesses of her own.

I suspect she just does not like anyone to get more attention than she does so will ramp up the fake illnesses on order to be more sick and get more attention. She has now been rumbled. I do wonder what her next steps will be. I suspect she will make a miraculous recovery very soon. The doctors will all be 'amazed' at the way she has healed so quickly!