Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friend taking illness again, after being told I'm on the 2 week pathway

238 replies

Lumpybumps1 · 20/11/2019 16:37

I have a friend of several years who has form for fabricating illness, twice she has been caught out feigning cancer symptoms and fabricating appointments and diagnosises before back tracking after questions are asked and making miraculous recoveries claiming the doctors had got it wrong. I stuck by her despite having strong opinions on her behaviour because I suspect there may be an underlying MH problem, I don't know. Members of her family have caught her out before.

This week I've been referred urgently on the 2 week pathway for a scan and further investigation, In my case they are looking for lymphoma. I have a thread in health and have been receiving some fab support (thank you all)

This friend now knows about my investigations and is suddenly "being admitted into hospital" tomorrow despite there being nothing wrong with her. No mention of bad health this year until my doctor has concerns about me, now suddenly she's at deaths door again. Lung cancer this time. (Another friend who lives closer to her than I do has confirmed there's nothing wrong, perfectly healthy as usual)

I'm deeply hurt that she's doing this again, and doing it off the back of my legitimate health problems.

I want to say something but I'm not confrontational. Would you say anything?

I'm wishing I cut her off before, but it feels so personal and heartless now as she knows what I'm going through.

OP posts:
Lumpybumps1 · 26/11/2019 20:23

Absolutely no reason me to ring her sister nor did she offer one. I asked her for the password which was wrong, then that's her follow up. As if I'm going to ring a stranger "Oh hi, 'sue' told me to ring you. Not sure why"

My bet is, she's messaged the sister saying she's in hospital and this is why so if I were to ring the sister and say what's up with 'sue' she would relay the same BS, poor woman.

Her friend who msgd me this eve also lives in a different part of the country, so again she's only involving people who live nowhere near her.

I find it very hard to believe this other friend hasn't been able to get in touch with "sue" when she has been glued to her phone all week, despite being in the hospital with heart attacks and sepsis.

She's clearly told this friend to message me and see if I reply because I haven't replied to her since the password exchange, despite "sue" texting me again last night saying "Did you ring my sister"

I haven't got into it with her as I've got alot going on but just wanted to share her ongoing histrionics.

I thought it was cancer? She can't keep a story straight or she's the unluckiest person in the world.

OP posts:
Lumpybumps1 · 26/11/2019 20:32

I managed to reset the password myself eventually so I didn't need her help after all and didn't bother replying.

Then hours later "Did you ring my sister"

Then today, the flying monkey messaging me feigning concern for "sue" asking if I've heard from her because she can't get in touch with her.

Haven't replied to either

OP posts:
GreenEyeBlueEye · 26/11/2019 20:38

Your a saint Op! By now I’d of lost my shit with her & called her out! Text her “I’m at the hospital now, I was worried about you” what ward are you on?”

Absolutely disgusting considering your having a tough time yourself! Attention seeking, nasty person! Get rid. Flowers

bananaskinsnomnom · 26/11/2019 20:40

Speaking as someone clueless on heart attacks - would she even be well enough to be messaging you if she had had 2 heart attacks in the space of a week?!! Would she even be conscious??! Or alive?? Sepsis of the heart, bloody hell. Absolute fucker.

As a cancer survivor, how bloody dare she. And to all the genuine cancer patients, survivors, and this pending results - my heart to you all. Fuck that woman.

MoseShrute · 26/11/2019 20:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

Lumpybumps1 · 26/11/2019 20:43

Almost a miracle isn't it that she's fortunate enough to have only had these heart attacks once she's safely admitted to the hospital for her lung, where she was told not to come to straight away despite having sepsis.

I'm clueless about heart attacks myself so not sure about the ability to text etc but she's absolutely full of shit

OP posts:
BMW6 · 26/11/2019 20:59

I didn't think you were allowed mobiles etc in hospital wards (or am I years behind the times?) Blush

incognitomum · 26/11/2019 21:00

Shocking behaviour.

Does she have any children? I'd hate to think she's responsible for anyone.

OctoberLovers · 26/11/2019 21:05

You are allowed mobiles everywhere in a hospital now

RandomMess · 26/11/2019 21:27

Sepsis of the heart lining 😂😂😂😂 surely she would be on life support if not dead??

How very f*cking dare she so many of us lose friends and family literally overnight to sepsis or have to support others through cancer whether they survive or not.

She is utterly toxic Angry

Ffsnosexallowed · 26/11/2019 21:32

I have an acquaintance who has done this. When my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer within weeks acquaintance said she'd been diagnosed with stage 4 cervical cancer. She didn't have any treatment and it just went away itself. She's also had multiple sclerosis, which she has also recovered from. Walking medical miracle she is.

QueenofallIsee · 26/11/2019 21:34

Sepsis of the heart is bloody serious and very very rare - a dear friends father developed it after having an artificial valve (I think, it was definitely something like that) fitted. He did have heart attacks while fighting the infection and was very very unwell. I am struggling to see how she is texting and active on social media with the condition.

justilou1 · 26/11/2019 21:47

Definitely NOT Munchhausens. They research every single detail and convince doctors that they have the illnesses they are faking to the point that they go under surgery. This chick is thick as mince. She has a personality disorder - probably a hysterionic/borderline one. She is also a soul-sucker. I bet anyone who spends any extended time in her presence comes away exhausted. I would only write back, “I sorted the password. Thanks, anyway.”

TheRobinIsBobbingAlong · 26/11/2019 21:52

If she'd had several heart attacks and sepsis of the heart lining then I'd think she'd be so poorly she'd be in ICU and not well enough to be texting and updating social media.

Rockingdahorse · 26/11/2019 21:54

sepsis is the bodies response to infection, not the infection itself. So a chest infection can lead to sepsis, but you can't have sepsis of the chest.

Sepsis of the heart lining makes no sense at all. It also doesn't lead on from having heart attacks.

I'd call her out on it, OP. Say you suspect she's making this up, why would she do tht when you are unwell yourself, is she that desperate for attention?

Pathetic

Twatwaffles · 26/11/2019 22:00

I'd have turned up, unannounced, at her house by now. "Oh, I thought you were in hospital, You look well! Grin"
Not that I'd really be putting too much effort into outing her , but can you ring her at work or from a private number or something?

Schuyler · 26/11/2019 22:05

Seriously, just block her now. Don’t engage.

ICantSweat · 26/11/2019 22:09

I've seen a pericardium full of pus as part of my day job so you can get it but it was in a bullock and it was dead.
In a live human I suspect you would be so ill you wouldn't be awake enough to text. You would need it draining off and would have a drip in every vein I reckon.

BitOfFun · 26/11/2019 22:13

You don't need to catch her out: it's so obvious she is lying. I don't think I could completely ignore it and say nothing though, but you must do whatever brings you the least stress.

From the comfort of my sofa, I'd want to text something like "I just don't have the time or energy for these silly lies- please stop trying to contact me." But I'm not you, and you need to look after yourself first and foremost.

I really hope you get some answers about your health soon, and that it's not as serious as you fear Flowers.

Snowmonster · 26/11/2019 22:16

This kind of made up fabricated illness scenario is common in Compulsive/Pathological liars. She is manipulative and a good story teller - its all for her ego and attention, what a narcissist.

Lumpybumps1 · 26/11/2019 22:17

I'm in London and she's in Yorkshire so I can't doorstep her unfortunately, but if I were closer I may have done by now to put a stop to all of the crap.

She has a child yes, young adult who is currently no contact with her for the fourth or fifth time (this is the relative i mentioned at the start of the thread who said she's full of shit and caught her out the first time)

I'm not engaging and not responding don't worry. It's just abhorrent what she has the nerve to do, and when I don't play ball and give her the attention she's looking for she recruits other unsuspecting people to reach out to me to test the waters.

Awful person she really is, I regret the day I met her.

OP posts:
FraglesRock · 26/11/2019 22:19

Ask how she is. Let her tell you how ill she is, then message to say you're nearby and you'll pop in
She'll be crapping herself

Lumpybumps1 · 26/11/2019 22:19

Most definitely to having a personality disorder, she is text book.

She relishes in attention be it good or bad and will go to any extent to get it.

OP posts:
Lumpybumps1 · 26/11/2019 22:22

The only reason I haven't blocked is because it's likely to cause a bigger display of dramatics, I opted to just ignore it and not to engage about it whatsoever.

OP posts:
Kanga83 · 26/11/2019 22:23

I would be so tempted to have a takeaway delivered to her house as a 'get well gesture' then ask the take away company to confirm she was in.

Swipe left for the next trending thread