Friend taking illness again, after being told I'm on the 2 week pathway

[Lumpybumps1]

I have a friend of several years who has form for fabricating illness, twice she has been caught out feigning cancer symptoms and fabricating appointments and diagnosises before back tracking after questions are asked and making miraculous recoveries claiming the doctors had got it wrong. I stuck by her despite having strong opinions on her behaviour because I suspect there may be an underlying MH problem, I don't know. Members of her family have caught her out before.

This week I've been referred urgently on the 2 week pathway for a scan and further investigation, In my case they are looking for lymphoma. I have a thread in health and have been receiving some fab support (thank you all)

This friend now knows about my investigations and is suddenly "being admitted into hospital" tomorrow despite there being nothing wrong with her. No mention of bad health this year until my doctor has concerns about me, now suddenly she's at deaths door again. Lung cancer this time. (Another friend who lives closer to her than I do has confirmed there's nothing wrong, perfectly healthy as usual)

I'm deeply hurt that she's doing this again, and doing it off the back of my legitimate health problems.

I want to say something but I'm not confrontational. Would you say anything?

I'm wishing I cut her off before, but it feels so personal and heartless now as she knows what I'm going through.

It's very
"I've been to tenerife"
"well I've been to elevenerife"
Isn't it? But with health one-upmanship?! Very odd behaviour and quite honestly I wouldnt mess around trying to catch her out or poke holes in her stories I'd just be blunt and say I know you do not have X and this has been created in response to me telling you I am dealing with Y. How do I know this? - as you did it with scenario A, B and C. I don't know why you do this, or what it achieves, but I find it damaging to my mental health to have someone who does not supports me when I'm ill and instead tries to 'compete' which is unhealthy for both of us and I think you need to go and speak to someone about why you are compulsed to behave in this manner.

A friend of DSis's used to do this. At our suggestion, DSis mentioned that she had rigor mortis. Lo and behold, friend claimed she had it too. DSis had lots of fun with that one.

Those last two replies made me laugh, Thank you I needed that today!

When you've been to tenerife they've been to elevenerief

Rigor mortis

I would have waited til she said she was in hospital and said 'ooh what does your room look like? Send me a pic' and see what she comes up with.

@beveren
That is too funny. I love your sister's sick sense of humour.

OP after all the grief this woman has put you through you definitely need to give her a wide berth while giving yourself a break. With friends like that...etc. She is a cruel, all about me, type of person.

oh she is bringing karma down upon herself isnt she

I have a relative that did this. My only reply after listening to her tale was .." Well, that is not true , is it ? Why, would you say such a thing ? "
She never did it again to me.

Whilst from what you say she is probably fine. It could be a case of crying wolf. Just tell her that with your own worries at the moment you don’t feel you can be much support. This will give you time to see what develops.

Cut her off. She’s got a screw loose for sure. Sad but you have enough to deal with!

I'd be half way tempted to actually call a blue light ambulance for her, but it would be such a massive waste of resources on the NHS and endangering people who actually need help that I just couldn't.

Still.. imagine the look on her face when paramedics rush into the house. So satisfying!

Truth:
You have a lot on your plate right now and you are being kind to yourself by not committing to events or activities unless you're certain you'll feel like it at the time. You don't want to hurt anyone by promising to be bouncy and present in everyone's lives all the time if you might not , so anyone of your friends will appreciate if you are a bit quiet sometimes. Repeat this mantra as it's true. It means you don't have to please/feed her emotions at the present. Or anyone else that takes energy, use this.

Best of luck OP

Most normal people don't think that everyone's taking offense at what they're saying.

If they are taking offense at what she's saying .... You know for sure you're not the only one suffering from a bad case of her :D

My exh does this with the kids all the time. It is pure attention seeking. In the past 10 years he has had 2 strokes, a brain aneurism, stomach cancer and five heart attacks.... This time last year he was given six months to live unless he got a transplant.... Guess what full recovery with no new heart.
They've had enough

God your poor kid. Relative did this to her kids. When she was grown up, she said to me that she spent all her teen years worried sick and in mourning something that was never going to happen.

When the relative finally died after many more years, someone's comment was "finally, she's done what she was promising to for the last two decades".

The adult kid is all kinds of messed up now.

So she has to go into hospital to be admitted tomorrow, for lung cancer. She doesn't know which ward or where she has to go until she gets there. She's also been told over the telephone that they believe she has sepsis, but no need to rush in as it'll all be dealt with when she gets admitted for lung cancer tomorrow

Good grief what a lying sack of shit.

She didn't stop there, she was messaging me again yesterday saying she's in hospital now and it's borderline sepsis.

An hour or so later she messaged again saying she was having an ecg to check her heart, then she was transferred to another hospital.

I didn't respond to any of her stupid messages as I'm having the week from hell but yes, she hasn't been deterred.

she sounds like a right attention seeking dick.

Time to block her I think. You've got enough on your plate to deal with.

What a loathsome person. I’d be telling her exactly what I thought of her.

I've seen what else you are dealing with OP. You really don't need this extra drain on your life. Just message 'do not contact me again' and block. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

OP I've read all this and you're right to ditch/block here, what you said about her having chosen your two biggest fears...she is cruel. Even if she's really unwell, that's hers to deal with. Nobody deserves the kindness of others when they are cruel and actually a bit abusive.

I really hope it isn't lymphoma and they work out quickly what it is and it's easy to deal with.

It’s just so weird . Is she actually sat at home typing this shit or is she actually at a hospital wasting doctors time? (If so, double shame on her). Can you do that ‘find my friends’ thing & then confront her? I am afraid I would have to have my last day on this before blocking her.

I'd turn up her house and look through her windows. If she looks like she's in knock on the door.

I have met three people with proper Munchausens and it sets off every spidey sense you have. You are right to be done with this OP.

Her initials aren't I L from a city beginning with B?

i've had serious health problems before, and I certainly wasn;t live updating my friends.

Cut and run