Friend taking illness again, after being told I'm on the 2 week pathway

[Lumpybumps1]

I have a friend of several years who has form for fabricating illness, twice she has been caught out feigning cancer symptoms and fabricating appointments and diagnosises before back tracking after questions are asked and making miraculous recoveries claiming the doctors had got it wrong. I stuck by her despite having strong opinions on her behaviour because I suspect there may be an underlying MH problem, I don't know. Members of her family have caught her out before.

This week I've been referred urgently on the 2 week pathway for a scan and further investigation, In my case they are looking for lymphoma. I have a thread in health and have been receiving some fab support (thank you all)

This friend now knows about my investigations and is suddenly "being admitted into hospital" tomorrow despite there being nothing wrong with her. No mention of bad health this year until my doctor has concerns about me, now suddenly she's at deaths door again. Lung cancer this time. (Another friend who lives closer to her than I do has confirmed there's nothing wrong, perfectly healthy as usual)

I'm deeply hurt that she's doing this again, and doing it off the back of my legitimate health problems.

I want to say something but I'm not confrontational. Would you say anything?

I'm wishing I cut her off before, but it feels so personal and heartless now as she knows what I'm going through.

Also thre's no such thing as 'borderline sepsis'

Sepsis is a severe systemic response to an infection. You can't have a touch of sepsis.

* She didn't stop there, she was messaging me again yesterday saying she's in hospital now and it's borderline sepsis.*

An hour or so later she messaged again saying she was having an ecg to check her heart, then she was transferred to another hospital.

So do you think she’s outright lying ie not in hospital and talking away pure fiction? In which case the woman is not suffering from Muchausens.

She’s a pathological liar.

Or if you do believe she’s at hospital then I’m baffled. They don’t keep in people and send off for ECGs unless there’s grounds.

Lovemenorca - they do if people claim to have chest pain/severe symptoms etc. They have to investigate, doesn;t mean there is actually anything wrong.

Not unless there is a justified medical case for it

It is 100% not the case that someone walks in complaint of chest pains and they are whisked off for an ECG

I don't believe she's in hospital at all. I live a considerable distance away so she feels secure saying that because she knows I can't just turn up.

I think she's more pathological liar than munchausens

Send her a message saying due to everything thats going on with your health you will be out of contact with the world for a while while you focus on your diagnosis and following treatment. State that as she is going through the same as you , you know she will be the one person who will understand this.

This.

So you think she’s literally tapping away absolute fiction? She’s a pathological liar. That’s the long and short of not. The Munchausen diagnosis of some posters is playing in to her hands, as she probably love a syndrome!

And you’re still calling her a friend. Do you want to be friends with a liar? And not just the odd trivial lie. We are talking massive huge lies.

I presume not. So don’t be. You have bigger fish to fry atm.

Lovemenorca

I walked in to my gp surgery with chest pains, he did an ECG there and then and because it was inconclusive he sent me off to hospital where I had another ECG and was kept in overnight for observation.

Lovemenorca
Definitely not true; I have had ECGs every time I have had chest pain, generally the first investigation as soon as I have got to A+E or in the ambulance.

lumpy open low level disbelief might make her stop? If you start texting back "sure you are' when she tells you she's in hospital; "how dreadful for you" if she says she's ill, "Uh huh" if she says she's got sepsis.

Lovemenorca - an ECG is an absolute must for anyone who says they have chest pain.

See this as the final straw. If she ever asks why you can just say borderline sepsis!

You need sensible strong empathetic people around you not this muppet. Whatever her motivation, bin her off.

I agree it is pathological lying rather than Munchausens because with Munchausens people make themselves ill deliberately whereas she is just lying about it whilst enjoying rude good health the cheeky cow!

This is so cruel Op! You don’t need friends like this in your life, well - she’s not really a friend is she? What an attention seeking shithead! Get rid Op, block all forms of contact & I hope your tests/investigations gone well for you. If you feel up to it, keep us in the loop

@Lovemenorca I've literally just come out of hospital for sepsis. While on the road to recovery I've had three ECGs done in the past 48 hours. They were done by the nurses (readouts interpreted by doctors). They are not difficult to carry out and they don't limit them!

'Best of luck with it all Sue. I'll give you a ring tomorrow to see how you are if I'm up to it. Night night.'
And don't bloody ring her

Do you have any mutual friends who live nearer who could check up and call her out on this?

She must know what ward she is on by now

I haven't opened any of her messages but I was able to see them with the notification preview that came up, she hasn't sent anything else so I'm guessing she knows I'm not buying it.

Usually I would respond when she messages daily so she'll know I've rumbled her

I think someone this deranged needs to be managed out - sudden cut off will lead to dramatic displays you can't be dealing with right now or ever.

I would start by telling her that your investigations for cancer came back clear and you are absolutely fine. Your illness is drama she actually relishes and enjoys competing with. Eliminate it as a factor for her.

Then be very, very, very busy, just about to walk out the door if she "stops by", get in the car and drive off ("Byeeeeee!") put her communications to silent and drag the time out longer and longer on checking and replying until she - and she will - finds someone new to emotionally vampire off. On no account do you ever meet up with her again. Phase out cannot include direct contact.

Eventually block her. No checking, no replying, no contact. In the unlikely event she physically won't leave you alone, that's when you go to the police.

She'll periodically try to hoover you back, just ignore. Forever. Good luck OP (YANBU, she's fucking dire).

Oh OP I sympathise with you so much on this one. I had a friend like this, caused me no ends of anxiety. I ghosted her 2 years ago and I can honestly say my mental health is so much better for it. You really need to be looking after yourself right now, not dealing with this - go NC and give yourself some peace.

I spoke to her yesterday as I needed the password for something she had set up for me, it's the first time I've messaged her since I started this thread last week.

I didn't respond to her claims, I just breezily messaged asking for the PW I needed.

She's claiming to be in hospital still and has had "two heart attacks" with accompanying "sepsis of the heart lining"

She clearly doesn't understand what sepsis is.

She invited me to ring her sister, somebody I've never met, who she hasn't seen in years and who lives hours away from her.

Ring my sister, no reason given as to why.

She has obviously messaged the sister with the same claims and thus thinks the sister will verify everything, because she has been told.

I also got a message from one of her other friends on Facebook this eve asking me if I've been in touch with her as she can't get hold of her. Funny that considering she's been on FB constantly in "hospital" and has been texting people.

What a big dramatic load of bollocks for attention. All of this because of my scan.

Very weird. Why would you need to ring get sister?

Presumably the hospital could ring her if she needed to be contacted.

Respond back- ' nah it's ok, I don't need to ring her. What's the password and what hospital and ward are you on so I can ring and see if you really are telling the truth'. Then block. Can the password be reset without her?

Also, I hope that you are ok OP with everything you have going on yourself.

She's barking.