To think that parents of twins

[scrapaja]

Have it financially harder than parents of single kids.

The government recognise the financial hardship experienced by parents of children with disabilities and also recognise single babies' financial hardship - offering maternity leave and child benefit. But parents of twins - I don't feel seen or acknowledged as being different to a parent of a single baby but there are differences.

We didn't plan for two babies. I love them dearly.

No, I don't mean planned twins. I mean a planned pregnancy.

All this "well if you didn't want two just have an abortion, that's what women do if thry have an unplanned second" is totally nonsense.

We ttc for 2 years to have a second child. That egg split in two so now 2 and 3 will be here in a few weeks. Me opting to abort that healthy pregnancy is totally different to someone who had an unplanned third child so got an abortion. With twins you'd be aborting the one you've been planning and working to conceive as well as the BOGOF baby vs an unplanned third singleton where you're only getting rid of the unplanned baby. And ivf isn't the only time you risk not falling pregnant again. Lots of women experience unexplained fertility, secondary infertility, just take a long time to get pregnant, are on the cusp of age being an issue etc. And what if you had twins again (which happens!), ypu just keep aborting t you get what you ordered? I dint think many women have them indset of just getting rid of babies til it fits their specs.

Your friend is unusual in her choice, and I'm glad she had the right to make it and it appears to have worked out for her

A financial pro of having twins at home is that there is a massive incentive to get back to work ASAP.. (mum of 2 year old twins)

There’s also the fact that aborting a planned pregnancy because it’s twins at 20 is a very different prospect to aborting when you’re in your mid to late 30s and having been trying for years. Then there’s no guarantee you’ll ever get pregnant again, and as time goes on an increasing likelihood of another set of twins.

I have two children with additional needs. Not twins.

It is extremely expensive. We don’t get any benefits bar DLA for one of them. Which doesn’t even cover the monthly cost of our wheelchair accessible vehicle.

Think many many tens of thousands we have had to find for equipment, adaptations and therapies not covered by statutory services. This will continue forever.

Plus lost earnings from my imploded career. And lost earnings from DHs because he hasn’t been able to pursue his career as voraciously as he would otherwise have done.

That said, I would not begrudge twin parents a boost in child benefit (those who can still actually get child benefit at least!) so that both children receive equal payments in the pre school years.

I do think that the Mat leave should be extended for parents of multiples

I think mat leave should be extended based on baby's discharge date from hospital post birth

* I think mat leave should be extended based on baby's discharge date from hospital post birth*

In addition to any time the mother took off Pre birth?

@Lovemenorca well essentially the time from birth to discharge minus the first 3 days I'd add on to the statutory pay period. So if Mom was off optional or poorly pre birth, it would be a different thing.
There's plenty of push for prem baby Mom's to get extra mat leave, I think it's unfair on those whose babies who weren't prem but were just as poorly

Sorry I still don’t quite understand say and what you are suggesting

What would happen in this scenario - a woman commenced maternity leave 4 weeks before her due date. Gives birth 3 weeks early (so 1 week in to maternity leave). After 3 weeks the baby is discharged.

Baby is in hospital for 3 weeks so 3 weeks minus 3 days is added (I say 3 days as a random no to cover babies whose Mom's have C secs etc)

Of course it is harder. Twice as expensive for most things at first, at least.
I would not have liked to have only had one maternity leave. Those were the best days of my life and I am extremely grateful I got to do it 3 times. I have 3 singletons. I would have found twins hard in terms of lost maternity leave, and getting to do the baby days again. Baby days are short, it is nice to get to do it again with a subsequent child.
Just my opinion and experience, but I do admire parents of twins, amd recognise that lots of things, not just the financial side, are harder.