To think it can cost a fortune to keep up appearances?

[ethelfleda]

Talking to my friend this evening...
Her and her partner are wonderful, very down to earth and not at all materialistic.
However, his family are (in his own words) trying so hard to show everyone they have a bit of money that they’ve nearly spent all their money doing so!
Seems like a bit of a paradox to me. AIBU to think that in some instances, those that go for outward displays of wealth actually aren’t that wealthy?

I know quite a few people who view cars as status symbols, for example. The nicer that car, the wealthier they must be. But surely, if you have a fairly regular income and decent enough credit score, a new car is within your grasp - you just need to finance it? Your name brand clothes can be put on credit cards and you can mortgage up to your eyeballs to get a 4 bed detached house (in the area we live, it’s possible to get a very nice 3 bed semi with a large garden for £200k so am not talking about people living further south here that have little choice but to get the highest mortgage they can)

What do you think?

That’s how it’s done, stealth braggers. “I spend a grand a month on horses. Suck on that!”

That’s how it’s done, stealth braggers.

no need to be so bitter - how do you know they don't save on accommodation cost, pay minimal rent, or work a 2nd job?

And if they have a trust fund, well frankly good for them. But no need to be jealous because someone chose to spend their money on something else that what you chose.

Some folks are savers, some are spenders, meh. There's no pockets in a shroud.

I tend to agree, to be honest. We have oodles of life insurance, enough to set up the kids very nicely indeed. Aside from our charitable donation, we plan to enjoy the rest - we have worked very hard for it.

But no need to be jealous because someone chose to spend their money on something else that (sic) what you chose.

You do understand, don’t you, that pointing out stealth bragging and humblebragging has nothing to do with jealousy and everything to do with hilarity?

Don’t you?

wombat - you do realise, don’t you, that this is the internet and, as such, there will be people from all walks if life. Yes there will be multi-millionaires in here, just as they exist in real life. People will give their perspectives because they’re just joining in with the general chat and it’s interesting to read how others perceive things. Are people only allowed to comment if they’re in a prescribed income bracket, or if they fit into the demographic you deem appropriate for the thread? Or should people lie?

I think, how lovely, to have a choice. After being made redundant, I'm trying to live on £317 a month. I refuse to use a food bank. It's my pride, and only that, that is standing in my way. I had to wait nearly 3 months to receive any Universal Credit. I wonder, what did they think that I was living on in that time? I applied mid August, and finally received a payment in mid November. Some people on here, think that in receiving benefits, I can earn up to £200 a week, before it affects benefits. Please, allow me to correct those people. I am able to work 16 hours a week. I can keep 37p out of every £1 I earn. I was offered a job at B&M , for 12 hours a week, at £8.21 an hour (minimum wage).Sadly, this meant that I could not afford to work for them. I had to refuse the job. I would lose my Housing Benefit. Lose my Council Tax support. Have to pay £10 in petrol, to get there and back. It worked out that I would be working for less than £98 a month. I checked this with the local council, and they confirmed that I would lose my benefits because I would be working. I have contacted all the people that I pay my bills to, and have managed to cut down my expenditure, a little. Sadly, bills are usually what they are. I have accrued debt, through no fault of my own. Universal Credit is slow. Very slow. It took nearly 3 months for me to receive my first payment. I lived on the contents of my freezer. And then had to sell my freezer. I still regret that. My freezer was my friend. However! I am still optimistic. I try to remain positive. Someone, somewhere, requires my skills. I AM positive! I definitely won't get THAT job. I definitely have no chance of getting that!. Positive!! Always.

chrisie16

your pride is admirable.

Just remember that people who give to the food banks do it to help someone exactly like you - they might even have experienced the same thing and do it to give back, or are just hoping to help out a bit.

Yes there will be multi-millionaires in here...

Really? I doubt that somehow.
🤣

Why do you doubt it astralweaks? One of my NCT friends is a multi millionaire and I know for a fact she’s a mumsnetter! They are people too you know

astral

There are people on the private education threads with multiple children in expensive boarding schools. They will be paying 6 figure school fees every year.

even Kate and Will have said they used MN

Not sure they are on AIBU, but why wouldn't they

Chrisie, I’m so sorry to hear about your situation. How can it be that, if you’re only allowed to work 16 hours per week before losing benefits, you’re only permitted to keep 37p for every £ earned? That’s the must stupid policy I’ve ever heard. Surely it should be tax free until you can get off benefits? I do hope you’re ok and that something comes up very soon.

astral - why would you doubt it?

One of the kids in my daughter's class - when in nursery - was told to put her coat on the hook. Her response (bearing in mind she was 4 at the time) was "that's not a coat, it's a Ralph Lauren jacket". Her family are well known for flashing the latest designer gear and coats but not paying the bills.

Cars not coats!

chrisie16
Best of luck

Parvenu. What are we really talking about here? Begrudgery.

Can I grab my diamond earrings (don't have a diamond necklace) at the flashy, ostentatious displays of parvenues?

I was working a second job with someone as we were both wanting to earn some Extra money. I was really shocked when I gave her a hand out with some stuff to her car to see she had a brand new range rover. Everytime I see them now I just don't think it's a rich person driving it sorry!!

But OP, if people would rather spend than save, surely that’s their choice. Some prefer to live for ‘now’. My Grandmother in law saved her whole life and lived a very basic life for many years after her husband died but guess what, she’s now paying £5k a month for a nursing home whilst the person next to her who has no savings, pays nothing for the same accommodation and care 🤷🏽‍♀️ I completely agree that you shouldn’t ever get into debt for this stuff as that’s crazy but if you can afford it, it’s nobody else’s business. And I don’t agree that people with money don’t spend it on flashy things. I know plenty who do. Look at sports stars, music artists and celebs in general. Look at all the reality stars that are thrown in our faces now. They aren’t all driving around in a Ford Focus and living in a 3 bed semi are they, they are showing their wealth. People are judging others for spending their own money how they wish. You should probably thank them for keeping people in jobs and boosting the economy 😂

"your pride is admirable."

Sorry, but health is more important than pride.