To think it can cost a fortune to keep up appearances?

[ethelfleda]

Talking to my friend this evening...
Her and her partner are wonderful, very down to earth and not at all materialistic.
However, his family are (in his own words) trying so hard to show everyone they have a bit of money that they’ve nearly spent all their money doing so!
Seems like a bit of a paradox to me. AIBU to think that in some instances, those that go for outward displays of wealth actually aren’t that wealthy?

I know quite a few people who view cars as status symbols, for example. The nicer that car, the wealthier they must be. But surely, if you have a fairly regular income and decent enough credit score, a new car is within your grasp - you just need to finance it? Your name brand clothes can be put on credit cards and you can mortgage up to your eyeballs to get a 4 bed detached house (in the area we live, it’s possible to get a very nice 3 bed semi with a large garden for £200k so am not talking about people living further south here that have little choice but to get the highest mortgage they can)

What do you think?

That’s are many multi millionaires in some areas of London, but it’s not obvious because people tend to invest money and school fees and mortgages take up a good chunk of what they keep as disposable income. An average semi could be £3-4 million for a start, even after prices having fallen in recent years. I have to be honest that I don’t know anyone locally with children in state schools. Not many people (if anyone)? is what you might call “old money” though. It’s bankers and entrepreneurs mainly. Also quite a lot of media types. Quite a lot of ex-pats too.

Actually where I wrote houses, I meant estates. Estates with 10 or 20 decent sized farms let to successful tenant farmers, and a shoot, with a gamekeeper or several, plus fishing and stalking. I know people who made their money in the City who serially buy whole estates. They are property investments, carefully managed with lots of professional advice. But these people work much harder than most of us think.

I’m just being honest about my experience of where I live and what I see. The women I know who would wear Gucci or similar daily are, on the whole, ex pats and from ME countries. It’s just a different style.

Ok. So the ‘proper’ rich people (you know the routine...ancient car, dog hair, dusty diamond necklaces, 10 year old Aquascutum clothes) would NEVER wear ‘flashy’ labels but it’s ok for those vulgar ex-pats, eh?

Face it: lots of rich people like buying and wearing ostentatious clothes. Not just the reviled fake nails, credit card, new build house people.

I am amazed at the details of other peoples' earning and bank balances that seems to be common knowledge among MN posters.

Nobody but my husband and myself has that knowledge about our finances.

An average semi could be £3-4 million for a start, even after prices having fallen in recent years. I have to be honest that I don’t know anyone locally with children in state schools.

Now THIS is what I’m talking about with the humblebragging. This is what you should be aspiring to. Take note!

I work in financial services and my DC go to private school, so I know plenty of wealthy people. Most of them aren’t overly flash. To some extent those days have gone from the City. People range from scruffy to groomed but there is not much bling.

@Elbeagle, I should have added. Tell your husband to come home with a £4m semi detached house next time, not a giant telly!

You forgot to mention the company and lease cars as well as the inheritance from the baby boomer generation and grandparents.If you think wealth is shown as cars, houses etc you have a very materialistic view of life.

Now THIS is what I’m talking about with the humblebragging. This is what you should be aspiring to. Take note!

Except that I know plenty of people who go to state school, and know no one who owns a Bentley. Like I said, I was just pointing out that not everyone who buys these things get into debt to do so, like a lot of posters on threads like these would have you believe.

Tell your husband to come home with a £4m semi detached house next time, not a giant telly!

Well I would do if we had anything close to 4 million pounds, unfortunately we don’t .
I repeat... I was just pointing out that not everyone who drives flashy cars or wears designer clothes gets into debt for them. There are many people who do this and have savings. Contrary to the opinion of many posters.

We went without the up market cars in order to send DD to private school (local state schools not good) and get her through uni without debts, both of which we achieved. One of the Mums at school used to turn up in a terrible old heap of a car. She was a very nice person and one day asked my DD up to the house to play. Well, I don't mind telling you, I had been to lots of the other children's houses, but got the shock of my life. The house was nothing short of a mansion. A typical example of 'don't judge a book by it's cover.' I do often see examples of very expensive cars outside very small houses. I suppose different people have different priorities and you'll never change that.

I am amazed at the details of other peoples' earning and bank balances that seems to be common knowledge among MN posters.

I work in recruitment, I don't the bank balances of anyone but I have a pretty good idea of the exact salary of more than a few people, and I obviously know all the salaries in the company where I work.

I wouldn't know a 'designer' handbag if I fell over one, and it would never even occur to me to look at other people's handbags or shoes and try to work out whether they are expensive or not.

Likewise, it's just not something that I'd be aware of at all - never been interested in fashion nor sleb culture etc. Clothes and accessories for me is all about usefulness rather than label.

In fact my comment about the TV was really in response to the PP who said she associates massive TV’s with ‘council houses’. I’m not actually sure what’s wrong with living in a council house and owning a huge TV, or why the fact that someone lives in a council house means they’re in debt, but my sole point was that we don’t live in a council house, have a massive TV because DH likes massive TV’s, and aren’t in any debt.

wombat - I don’t know anyone with a dusty car or hair. This is all in your head, by the sound of it. I myself am ex-pat (but a long time ago). And it’s not bragging to say how much houses cost in certain parts of London. It’s common knowledge and its obvious. What I’m trying to say is that people might be very asset wealthy on paper, but not actually have massive amounts of disposable income for “flash” things because of mortgages, school fees or the fact that they tend to have money invested for the long term. So different choices.

I am amazed at the details of other peoples' earning and bank balances that seems to be common knowledge among MN posters.

Lots of people work in banks, solicitors, accountants, financial advisors, estate agents, letting agents, recruitment firms, HR depts, payroll bureaux, shops selling stuff on credit - all the kind of jobs where details of your income/savings/wealth etc are known.

Most of the people I know to be wealthy, I either went to university with in the 1970s or they made their money by being brilliant in the City. Just cleverer about the future than the rest of us.

I'd rather have a flash telly than spend £3m on a semi-detached house. This thread is fucking hilariously idiotic

No conspicuous consumption or flashy bags. They could buy them, but they don't. The very idea of being a sleb would have them clutching their pearls, diamonds or emerald tiaras.

You don’t know anyone with hair? Or a dusty car?

Try to keep up. The hair is dog hair, and is in the old banger. The dust is on the diamond necklace, see? Try reading a Jilly Cooper novel. That will explain all.

Earlier you were telling us that the wealthy women of south west London would never wear flashy labels. Now it appears that they do. It’s better to have one coherent argument and stick with it.

@Elbeagle: I was pulling your leg.

everything - you do realise people in London, like anywhere else, tend to not buy the houses outright, but on some kind of mortgage . You might think it’s “idiotic” but have a look on RightMove. It’s nothing to do with me - it is what it is.

The work ethic of almost every wealthy person I have ever met would shame 98% of the population. Including me.

wombat - there is a fairly large middle ground between dog hair and dustiness and haute couture

I know what you mean. I drive an old car and material stuff doesn't mean a lot to me. But I've worked hard and paid off the mortgage and that's much more important to me

there is a fairly large middle ground between dog hair and dustiness and haute couture

You don’t say? Next you’ll be admitting that your small sample of Range Rover driving mums in SW London are not representative of every rich person on earth in their shopping habits.