To think it can cost a fortune to keep up appearances?

[ethelfleda]

Talking to my friend this evening...
Her and her partner are wonderful, very down to earth and not at all materialistic.
However, his family are (in his own words) trying so hard to show everyone they have a bit of money that they’ve nearly spent all their money doing so!
Seems like a bit of a paradox to me. AIBU to think that in some instances, those that go for outward displays of wealth actually aren’t that wealthy?

I know quite a few people who view cars as status symbols, for example. The nicer that car, the wealthier they must be. But surely, if you have a fairly regular income and decent enough credit score, a new car is within your grasp - you just need to finance it? Your name brand clothes can be put on credit cards and you can mortgage up to your eyeballs to get a 4 bed detached house (in the area we live, it’s possible to get a very nice 3 bed semi with a large garden for £200k so am not talking about people living further south here that have little choice but to get the highest mortgage they can)

What do you think?

I personally find designer clothes and labels chavtastic and wouldn't be seen dead in them

Again, tell that to Chanel’s and Hermes’ clients.

These Sleb wannabes and chavs have a lot to learn

Yeah, know your place, people who are not old money!

You’re making assumptions about people with a car or house that you consider “flash”. You can’t know their circumstances or motivations.

What do you mean by “down to earth” and “not materialistic”? Subjective.

Many of us in the UK consume a lot of goods and services.

I used to work on Bond st back in the 90s, plenty of wealthy people there who love to shop.

Surely there is a balance though & some people prioritise different areas. I love clothes & bags & have too many (ranging from Primark to Isabel Marant). Happy to drive a 2nd hand car & prefer Aldi & Sainsburys to Waitrose.

As a carer, my wealth is making sure someone is comfortable, fed, clean & warm. Status symbols don't mean much.

I agree. We have a six figure income, and live in a small terraced house, drive a bashed-up third-hand car, rarely go abroad, and I buy most of my clothes in charity shops.

Some of that is for environmental reasons, and some of it is due to not wanting to get into debt just to have more "stuff." We also don't feel any need to impress anyone.

We are comfortably off but I love a bargain and buy most of my clothes in the sales or second hand. I’m not ashamed of this, it makes clothes shopping more of a fun challenge and I will happily tell anyone who asks what I paid for it. It also means that I can buy better quality clothes for less. I’m often complimented on what I wear, so I must be doing something right.

I think very few British people would want to wear Gucci or whatever head to toe tbh. It’s different in the Far East maybe? If the Middle East? People I know might have the odd handbag bought for them as a special gift etc, but that’s it. It’s just not a thing. People who I know who would, on a national scale, be considered very wealthy shop in places like Ba&sh, Zadig and Voltaire, Sandro, Claudie Pierlot, that kind of thing. Do not “designer” but not M&S either. Nor do they look scruffy. These would be women in their late 30s / 40s who drive the Range Rovers around SW London

I think very few British people would want to wear Gucci or whatever head to toe tbh.

unless it's fleeced line and waterproof maybe

but no, of course, just look at the fall of Burberry!

It's all relative though.

If you're a multi millionaire, wearing a Rolex and having a Hermes handbag are well within your reach and you wouldn't be stretching yourself to afford them.

Quite different to if you're working on a checkout and spending your entire months wages on a Louis Vuitton handbag.

People who I know who would, on a national scale, be considered very wealthy shop in places like Ba&sh, Zadig and Voltaire, Sandro, Claudie Pierlot, that kind of thing

women in their late 30s / 40s who drive the Range Rovers around SW London

I wonder how Gucci sell so many clothes and accessories, in that case? What a conundrum! How do they manage to be $10 Bn brand when the range rover-driving mums of south west London (driving leased cars, naturally, under the illusion that they won’t suffer the depreciation they are paying for every month, like the poster describing them) don’t wear Gucci gear?

Could it be that genuinely rich people are buying the clothes? Because they like them, not to impress people?

It is possible to have a flash car, designer clothes etc and savings though. These threads always have people proclaiming that everyone who has these things are paying on credit, which may be true for some, but there are many people who can afford both.
We have a fairly high income, plenty of savings and investments and a massive TV . Not my choice may I add, DH turned up with it one day. It’s a monstrosity!

We have a fairly high income, plenty of savings and investments and a massive TV grin. Not my choice may I add, DH turned up with it one day. It’s a monstrosity!

See, you’re having a good go at the humblebragging but the bar has been set very high by the woman jaded by too many Bentleys in her neighbourhood.

Really, what you want is a casual reference to an emerald tiara that you only wear when absolutely necessary, eg. at state banquets that you wish you could get out of to watch TOWIE, or something.

Funny I always notice that the GPs that work at the doctors I go to have right old bangers. I always think if I was making that sort of money I’d buy a flash car. Not for everyone to look at but my own enjoyment

AIBU to think that in some instances, those that go for outward displays of wealth actually aren’t that wealthy?

You're not BU at all. Most of the "flashy" people I know just do it for attention seeking and are mortgaged/debt up to the hilt. Some of the loans/credit card debts etc are really eye watering.

The richest people I know - well you really wouldn't have a clue how much they had in the bank - sometimes literally hundreds of thousands or even millions, yet they have a modest home, averagely old cars, bog standard clothing, etc. They're the kind of people who keep their heads down and usually have accumulated money just by being careful, working hard, and not splashing the cash to attract attention.

Dancingmonkey how refreshingly honest of you

To be honest, I bought a lot of stuff of finance when I was younger to try and impress. I was in my early 20s. I’m in mid thirties now and don’t really do this anymore... but I still have insecurities that I try to compensate for and want people to see me in a certain way. I guess if people are 100% comfortable in their own skin and genuinely don’t care what others think then great.

Haha no not a humble brag at all. It was merely a response to all the posts saying that people who have these things are obviously in masses of debt. Not always true. We’re certainly not wealthy by any stretch (definitely not Bentley league), it just annoys me when people assume that anyone who spends a lot of money on ‘stuff’ is getting in debt to do so.
We do drive a fairly expensive car, but it’s a company car so again, no debt incurred.

The last thing I thought of when I leased my car was what anyone else was thinking about it or how did I afford it .
We lease three relatively high end cars between myself & DH and have been leasing for years .
We could buy something similar and run it till
It dies but we don’t want to .
But we can afford, it we have no mortgage on our house and kids are all grown up
We have several long haul holidays each year and several weekends away as well
We have no debt despite having several credit cards with limits of 15- 20k on each card.
We don’t do this to impress anyone, we like nice cars and holidays and can easily afford both without getting into debt .
On a day to day basis within reason I don’t have to think can I afford this or that. I’m not talking thousands of pounds but if I wanted to buy something I do without having to cut back somewhere else .
I appreciate that we are very lucky to be in this position though and I can definitely remember the skint days

Also, how do so many people know so many millionaires?? I’ve never met one.
Apart from my old boss who sold his company for £4million he moved to a posher part of his village and used to whinge about how much he hated ‘inherited money’
He was an utter twat though.

Funny I always notice that the GPs that work at the doctors I go to have right old bangers.

Usually their "work" car. They often have one or two "slightly different" cars that they keep at home. My old GP drove a 10 year old citroen Picasso for work, but had a Range Rover Vogue at home along with his Morgan sports car. But my current GP has a brand new BMW X5 every year.

I worked at a GP’s surgery when I was at uni, they all drove pretty flash cars!

wombat - I’m just being honest about my experience of where I live and what I see. The women I know who would wear Gucci or similar daily are, on the whole, ex pats and from ME countries. It’s just a different style.

In my experience, the more wealthy people are, the shabbier the cars. The houses are inherited, and entailed. But their horses and stables and grazing are Arabian, perfect and manicured. When brain coincides with status, then they have a home in London and work for a hedge fund or do something really woke, and open the house/garden for star gazers, for charity, two or three times a year. They holiday in Scotland, not the Seychelles, but take a chef to do the food.

Also, how do so many people know so many millionaires?

In my case, it's my job as an accountant. People with a lot of money usually need an accountant, if only to complete their tax returns. Such clients are typically retired doctors or dentists, or they may have sold a successful business, or be retired policemen or firemen or teachers with large property letting portfolios, or any other retired professionals. My richest is a retired Nuclear Physicist who worked managing power stations commissioning and decommissioning all over the World.

People without money generally don't need accountants, except if they're self employed, and that's where I see the "attention seeking" lifestyle choice type of people in massive debt. They set up a "one man" business and think they need the "image", so get the expensive car on a lease, the latest iphone, rent posh/expensive office, etc etc., and usually come a cropper pretty quickly, simply because of over-spending when they weren't actually earning anywhere near enough to justify the image.

I wouldn't know a 'designer' handbag if I fell over one, and it would never even occur to me to look at other people's handbags or shoes and try to work out whether they are expensive or not.

I would, however, buy a pre-loved Aston Martin (racing green or dark blue, naturally) if I ever win the lottery.

I wonder how Gucci sell so many clothes and accessories, in that case?

that's the thing though, they sell A LOT of accessories, much more than they sell clothes - that pretty much anyone can afford.

Everybody is winning, brands keep their upmarket designer status by only selling limited clothes to the ones who really can afford it, but keep a steady cash flow by flogging accessories to the "aspiring" shoppers.

Having their own handbags or accessories line is the dream of many designers, financially it's lifeline.

Of course here's also the small fact that accessories (not shoes) are one-size, and much easier to produce, but still.