To think it can cost a fortune to keep up appearances?

[ethelfleda]

Talking to my friend this evening...
Her and her partner are wonderful, very down to earth and not at all materialistic.
However, his family are (in his own words) trying so hard to show everyone they have a bit of money that they’ve nearly spent all their money doing so!
Seems like a bit of a paradox to me. AIBU to think that in some instances, those that go for outward displays of wealth actually aren’t that wealthy?

I know quite a few people who view cars as status symbols, for example. The nicer that car, the wealthier they must be. But surely, if you have a fairly regular income and decent enough credit score, a new car is within your grasp - you just need to finance it? Your name brand clothes can be put on credit cards and you can mortgage up to your eyeballs to get a 4 bed detached house (in the area we live, it’s possible to get a very nice 3 bed semi with a large garden for £200k so am not talking about people living further south here that have little choice but to get the highest mortgage they can)

What do you think?

And @everythingisginandroses said that the thread is ridiculous. Not your account of the price of houses in your road.

(A sentiment with which I whole-heartedly agree)

Wombat - I have no opinion on anyone else. You’re the one talking about people in new builds or whatever. I’m just giving a perspective from where Im standing. I know a couple of people who moved to modern houses in Surrey and good luck to them. They just wanted more space, I guess.

Yes the thread is ridiculous for sure, but when did that ever stop people on AIBU?

Money talks, wealth whispers...

Here we go again. All rich people hide their wealth and the people buying Bentleys, Rolexes and superyachts are beauticians living beyond their means with leased range rovers.

This thread just highlights everything that is wrong with society and how people think/judge others.

The work ethic of almost every wealthy person I have ever met would shame 98% of the population

I call bollocks - the work ethic of some of the poorest people I know would shame 98% of the rich people you know.

No, most people don't like totally needless outrageous rudeness directed their way

Chamenanged, it was a response to her constant boasting, so not needless!

Agreed. There are people who have worked hard all their lives and haven’t got a light, as the saying goes!

I came to London years ago quite young on what I thought then was a huge salary, and went mad shopping, running up credit card bills which took years to pay off. Took me 5 years to save to buy my flat, and that taught me a lesson. I did it to look rich and posh as I come from a very normal background. In England I would have been working class but where I came from I was middle class. My parents saved for everything, never had a credit card, always had to watch what they spent and manage their money. I think I initially rebelled and wanted what I had never had, but it was a good lesson to learn. Now married with kids no mortgage, several investment properties and a lot lot older, for big spending items I calculate how much longer I would have to work for it, and is it worth it? If it's 3 months or more salary it had better be an investment of some kind. We have a nice car but it's old and we'll run it into the ground and it will be replaced by a second hand car when we do trade up. I never buy anything which is not on sale, I've moved away from branded items though I could afford them, I just see it as constant consumerism and ways to get you to spend money and stay tied to the rat race because you're mortgaged to the hilt or have so much on credit it may as well be a mortgage. I have friends who spend thousands on bags or watches but if they were to lose their jobs they'd be unable to pay their rent or mortgage in 3 months, I wouldn't sleep at night if that were me and they will have to work well into their sixties. I also think when I'm tempted to spend money on something materialistic - bag - expensive clothes - what that money would mean to my parents in their day and I have to stop and check myself as to the maddness of it all. Ostentatious spending is what's wrong with the world and quickly leading to the destruction of our planet. Security now means more to me than dressing in a flashy way, I like nice clothes but you can get those at a discount if you know where to look. I also prefer to give to charity and make a difference rather than just get yet another bag or item I'll get bored of or forget I have in 6 months time. The more I know of people and social media, the more I have found that people buy to impress and make others think they have a great life, when in fact a lot of it is for show. Where I grew up, people were the opposite, sure the was the house competition, who'd put on an extension to their house, got a new car etc, but they weren't flashy with their money, quite the opposite, the richer people were, the worst the dressed and the more of an old banger they drove. Life is about choices - you spend at a cost to your time, because you'll have to work to pay that bill in the end (and that's fine if that's what you want and are willing to do, I'm just not) and I've learned in life people don't value their time enough

Some of the things that cost money don't scream it. Caroline Charles coat -v- Ted Baker/Burberry. Asprey handbag -v- Mulberry.

A well made pair of shoes will have no seam except at the back. Ferragamo do it well - Russell & Bromley often don't.

A skirt or dress cut on the bias can come from T K Max and swish. A "label" often doesn't.

A rolled hem -v- a turned hem.

A picasso etching in the bog -v- the perfect home.

A lady eating pie and mash -v- a parvenu in The Ritz.

I knew it wouldn't take long for someone to come along and say that rich people are rich because they work harder. Either they are A - born lucky, B - born with a silver spoon in their mouth, C - exceptionally intelligent (luck again) and have made good career choices, or D - never had an awful tragedy in their lives and found themselves on their beam ends with no way out. None of those have anything to do with working hard. Sitting in a boardroom pontificating is not working hard.

People always come up with this cliche that ‘old money’ doesn’t need to show wealth whereas ‘new money’ are ostentatious.
I have mixed with a lot of what you call “old money’ and the reality is that they may have a big old rambling mansion, but they don’t usually have disposable cash.
This thread just reinforces the fact that wealth or perceived wealth attracts a great deal of envy.
The thread was supposed to be about those who extend themselves financially despite the fact that they don’t have much. However, as usual it has turned into a criticism of those who like expensive cars and designer clothes

None of those have anything to do with working hard.

It's a lazy way to see things to pretend that people who do very well are just "lucky". The people at the top might seem to do less (and maybe they do, maybe they worked hard for decades to reach that level) but not everyone is even willing to take on responsibility and work load..

it makes life easier in a way, I guess, if you blame everything on "luck" and circumstances, but it's not true.

This thread is fucking hilariously idiotic grin

Yes! I think people are being very creative though.

Today 20:27 Iamthewombat

You don’t know anyone with hair?

The funniest thing about this whole thread is when anyone sitting behind a keyboard they can reinvent themselves to be whatever they wish to be - poor and put upon or rich beyond most people's dreams all done with stealth ( or not so stealth in many instances ) boasting to an unknown audience

• and the audience bites

Yep! It sounds bad but I always associate huge TV's with council estate, no income families.
Families with money tend to have smaller TV's or none at all

Really? People with money have no tvs now?

On a more serious note, the last decade's propaganda about the feckless poor seems to have worked a treat.
Because the poor people I see, daily, are shopping for their clothes in Primark and buying supermarket basics and reduced food.

I'm worried about my teenager going down these lines. All he is interested in is labels. His Christmas list is eye watering
Mine too, SnuffKindle but I see hints at a different way every now and then. Like, he recently bought a pair of ‘worn once too small’ Nike Air for half the new price and was stoked about it. I couldn’t have imagined that he would do that. So there’s hope!

Babs luck does come into it, to not be ill, have a disability or gain a disability, to not divorce or have a spouse die do that you are left child rearing alone. To be born into a family that values education and to have a natural level of intelligence. All this is absolutely luck.

A person can be rich because of their own hardwork but luck does also come into it. And in this country as in many others, who you know also accounts for something for alot of rich people.

All flash no cash

Yeah, that Roman Abramovich, eh? All flash, no cash. All on credit.

Luck is a factor; no one can deny it. But intelligence is largely a heritable trait, and allied to an upbringing that insists on work, and contacts that create opportunity, the results diverge drastically. But health. Yes that matters more than almost anything.

yes, luck is a small part of it
but

it's also genuinely either lazy or gloomy to decide that if you have
a disability
a divorce
lose your spouse

you won't achieve anything ever.

Even intelligence is not a criteria for success one way or another. You can see very successful and wealthy individual who are not that bright, and really clever, sharp and knowledgeable academics who have gone nowhere.

Pretending "luck" is everything is denying the work of many very successful people.

It’s a ? Of priorities isn’t it. My car cost £800 6 or 7 years ago but I spend way more than that each month on my horses.