To think a class whip round for teacher's Xmas present shouldn't come to £££

[lollapaloser]

My child is in first term of reception class. The class rep asked all parents in the class WhatsApp group if we'd like to contribute to vouchers for a Christmas present for the teacher. I said probably not, I'll just get DS to make or buy a small token something (from him). And wouldn't a group gift be better at the end of the school year?

Anyway, an 'experienced' mum with older children said a £10-£20 contribution per child/family is normal and it's split between the teacher and TA. Given there are 30 children in the class we'd end up with between 300 and 600 quid, which seems bonkers.

Turns out I was in a minority of 1 in thinking it was OTT/tacky/morally wrong. A few people jumped in to say how much the teacher does, caring for our children every day, going above and beyond, how wonderful she is etc. How none of us would think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway. Another said she couldn't get a bottle of wine and chocs for £20 so it's a good deal, plus it saves her time. And that she sometimes also bakes or whatever as well as the donation.

There are just so many things about this I don't agree with. It's the teacher's job, she's not a saint, wouldn't it embarrass her, she'd have to declare it, could it be seen as bribery, I think the parent who suggested we can all chuck £20 away without thinking about it is clueless about most people's finances, I think the thank you should come from the child, not the parents in a grand gesture of performative gratitude, if Teach is so wonderful why wouldn't you go to more effort, larger value doesn't equal greater thanks, if we're raising a big chunk of money wouldn't it be better spent on equipment for the school, etc . . . I could go on.

This is in a (turns out more affluent than I realised) London suburb. Everyone else has responded saying they'd transferred money, mostly a tenner. I know in the grand scheme of things a tenner isn't much but that's not the main point.

I actually emailed the school about this and whether their gifting policy could state a cap on gift amounts. But their reply just said parents can give what they want and that it isn't a policy issue as doesn't affect the children.

I reckon I'm the only one of 30 sets of parents not contributing. I now feel a bit isolated from the group for thinking differently.

AnnieAnt The article you shared is fantastic for so many reasons. More classes should copy this.

In our school we do this but it's £5 per head. People usually give a little more so we get about £200. We spend around £30 each on the TAs then about £140 on the teacher. It's usually vouchers. I think it's a great idea. Much better than her getting 30 mugs or boxes of chocolates.

Everyone seems to be missing the bit in the OP that it’s split between the teacher and TA, so £5+ each per family not £300+ just on the teacher. I’m definitely pro class collections but at our school they’re done by putting money in an envelope, generally people would give a tenner split between teacher and TA but no one checks up on who has given what or stops you signing the card.

unless you're hard up, YABU. It's the same here, £10-£20. It's so much better than separate pieces of tat. People that can't afford it don't do it and that's absolutely fine.

I agree with you op. When children were younger i had them make presents - mist popular was they decorated a white mug with sharpies and i filled with chocolate or sometimes and individual hot chocolate sachet and some biscuits. I had teachers stop me to say how much they loved the gift. For 4 staff i would spend well under £10.

Also, in what world can you not get a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates for £20? I can do it for £10 easily.

Perhaps they should donate to people really in need if they have that much spare

How do you know they don't?

Op it's a tenner between the teacher and TA. I would just donate.
It doesn't sound like anyone has pressured you though, I can't believe you went to the school about it.

We don’t do group gifts here but surely it’s better for the environment for the teacher to get vouchers rather than thirty individual gifts that may end up on landfill.

I spend more than £10 to get two nice gifts so it would be cheaper to do a collection.

As for the comment about them not being a saint, it’s got nothing to do with that . Good teachers and TAs end up going over and above for our children. They are a large influence in their daily lives.

Always amazes me how people tip for a service they have already paid for yet begrudge teachers getting a gift.

My son has just started P1 this year, this is the first I've heard about teacher gifts.? Personally i think it's something I'd rather not get into. We don't even do family gifts for adults at Xmas . I wouldn't be buying teachers a gift. Just say no thanks.

You were BU to email the school. If you don't want to participate then don't. The collection suits people who don't have time or energy to sort a present. Just do your own thing.

When I was a class teacher this started to happen. I sometimes was given £500/£600 worth of gift cards and usually a personalised type gift alongside. Most parents contributed (£20 I think) and those who didn’t gave something separate. This was not in a private school and only seemed to happen with certain class groups, depending which parents were involved. I do contribute to these if there’s one in any of my DDs classes but to be honest, as a teacher I was mortified to receive such an amount so I’d rather get something else.

Another point for the ‘it’s only £10/20’ brigade. I’ve 4 kids, 3 currently in school.

I went to school in the 70’s and there was never any present giving to teachers. We used to send them Christmas cards. It’s commercialism gone mad. It’s just the shops trying to squeeze that extra bit of money out of people. ‘Perfect Teachers Gift’ - the sign reads. So people get it in to their heads that this is something that this is some kind of tradition.

How none of us would think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway.

How do they know that? I certainly 'think twice' before spending £20 on a takeaway, since you can get a comparable meal for less than half that if you cook it yourself.

I don't really get this thing of present-buying for teachers being a 'must' at all. You don't automatically buy them for other professionals in your life.

And what if most of the class, or indeed the teacher, is Muslim, Jewish, etc?

My children are pre schoolers but I've already been asked to contribute 'around £10' (and get my child to draw a picture for a scrapbook) for the Christmas present for our pre school.

And I’m sure a child’s handmade card would be appreciated by the teacher. Individual gifts are harder for someone you don’t know well. How do you know the teacher actually likes smelly candles / toiletries / wine / chocolate / mugs?

I would absolutely think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway as well - ie, I would never buy a takeaway under any circumstances.

Never been on the receiving end of this as a teacher. But would absolutely give £10 to cover both teacher and TA! People tip more to their hairdresser, it would save me time and money in the long run, and teachers I know spend more than that on their class over the year for things their school budget won’t cover, as wel as TA’s who are paid a pittance. No one should feel pressured or have to contribute if they can’t afford it though

If it really is an affluent suburb you’ve got off lightly with £10-20. £50 is the norm where we are, more if it’s a “special” year, i.e. last before they more up from pre to prep and then onwards.

I agree OP. I have always opted out since it got above £5 per child for what is supposedly a token Christmas gift. Not being on the what's app group helps tremendously!

I think it is wrong. They do it at the school my dc attend. I just decline the offer to contribute. I get the children to give something small. People assume that every parent has the same income and it could put extra pressure on parents.
There are some great teachers at the school, but they do also get paid to do their job like alot of other professions.

@daisypond I have a team members who is Muslim. They are the most prolific of Christmas present givers and arrange the Christmas lunch for us. They celebrate Christmas as a family too. Their view is ‘any reason for a nice get together’ and better eat together than fight.
We have other Muslim friends who are very happy to join in Chrcelebrations.

Stereotypes create such misinformation and angst that doesn’t need to happen.

Former teacher here .... yanbu. A nice card with some well chosen words is what I appreciated most. Not interested in the present.... very few of them I was actively interested in and no way could I accept money except as a leaving present.

Beside the point slightly but I’m a local government officer and I’d never be allowed to accept gifts like that from people I work with, I don’t understand how teachers are different! Majority are public sector employees.

Friends who work in customers servings roles even have to hand inboxes of biscuits they are given.

Our class always organises a collection and, to be honest, I always chuck in a tenner as it saves me having to do something myself. The amount gets split between teacher, TA and a little something for the dinner lady. To be honest though, I work for another school in the same area and the council has an extremely rigid policy on accepting gifts and this breaks every rule. I'm never going to raise it because frankly, the school staff have received the same policy training as me and if they don't want to say no thank you, then it's not really my problem but I can guarantee every local authority will have the same rules.