To think a class whip round for teacher's Xmas present shouldn't come to £££

[lollapaloser]

My child is in first term of reception class. The class rep asked all parents in the class WhatsApp group if we'd like to contribute to vouchers for a Christmas present for the teacher. I said probably not, I'll just get DS to make or buy a small token something (from him). And wouldn't a group gift be better at the end of the school year?

Anyway, an 'experienced' mum with older children said a £10-£20 contribution per child/family is normal and it's split between the teacher and TA. Given there are 30 children in the class we'd end up with between 300 and 600 quid, which seems bonkers.

Turns out I was in a minority of 1 in thinking it was OTT/tacky/morally wrong. A few people jumped in to say how much the teacher does, caring for our children every day, going above and beyond, how wonderful she is etc. How none of us would think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway. Another said she couldn't get a bottle of wine and chocs for £20 so it's a good deal, plus it saves her time. And that she sometimes also bakes or whatever as well as the donation.

There are just so many things about this I don't agree with. It's the teacher's job, she's not a saint, wouldn't it embarrass her, she'd have to declare it, could it be seen as bribery, I think the parent who suggested we can all chuck £20 away without thinking about it is clueless about most people's finances, I think the thank you should come from the child, not the parents in a grand gesture of performative gratitude, if Teach is so wonderful why wouldn't you go to more effort, larger value doesn't equal greater thanks, if we're raising a big chunk of money wouldn't it be better spent on equipment for the school, etc . . . I could go on.

This is in a (turns out more affluent than I realised) London suburb. Everyone else has responded saying they'd transferred money, mostly a tenner. I know in the grand scheme of things a tenner isn't much but that's not the main point.

I actually emailed the school about this and whether their gifting policy could state a cap on gift amounts. But their reply just said parents can give what they want and that it isn't a policy issue as doesn't affect the children.

I reckon I'm the only one of 30 sets of parents not contributing. I now feel a bit isolated from the group for thinking differently.

We have always put £10 per child in the pot a teacher and given either John Lewis vouchers or cash.
Who wants a pile of tat, wine they don't like, soap coming out if their ears or even worse hand made gifts from kids....
These teachers work so incredibly hard, rewarding them with a cash bonus is much better

That’s the aspect of it that I find unsavoury.

I agree that they shouldn’t be prescriptive on amounts or exert pressure.

But nothing wrong with a communal gift. Much more practical.

Teacher here, although from secondary so the kids aren't as soppy about us.
I think that pressure to buy teachers something is so unfair. At primary there always seems to be that one bossy-boots Mum who insists that everyone gives money.
I've kept, or photographed, every card & note I've received from students or parents. They mean a lot.
If you want to buy something, pens, pencils & glue sticks - a pound's worth from Poundland - would be really thoughtful.

Do you reward everyone who does anything or just those you feel deserving? How much do you reward your Gp, your dentist, the person who serves you in Burger King, petrol station attendants? How do you decide who is worthy?
I would always use the amount of time someone has to spend with my DCs in an enclosed space as a major factor in deciding who is 'worthy'

Honestly I've never read such nonsense. We have on occasion (rare) given a small gift and a note of thanks to one or two teachers over the years who have gone above and beyond , but this is ridiculous. Give something if you want to but if anyone ever pressured me into something like this they'd get a lecture from.me.
No good deed goes unpunished.

What's wrong with gestures of goodwill?

Yabu OP. I think the cap should be £5 per child, end of summer term so it's a once per year gift. Teachers I know in affluent areas near London are receiving £100s in gift vouchers for xmas and in summer term 😳

It's not that they arent worth it, but it's hardly a token gesture and for many parents who have less funds it's very expensive, in addition to the school trips, residential etc

A token donation is nice, whether it be a card, a small collection (no 'set' price) or what some posters are classing as 'tat' ( which seems a bit ungrateful).
They are doing their job....lots of people on the minimum wage also do a brilliant job, but don't get a large tip at Christmas and the end of the school term.
I'd prefer to Give £20 to charity, not a paid professional.
Give what you like. Ask your daughter if she wants to make a nice card for the teacher. You won't be alone with your opinion. Anyone who thinks differently will ' get over it'. Best wishes