To think a class whip round for teacher's Xmas present shouldn't come to £££

[lollapaloser]

My child is in first term of reception class. The class rep asked all parents in the class WhatsApp group if we'd like to contribute to vouchers for a Christmas present for the teacher. I said probably not, I'll just get DS to make or buy a small token something (from him). And wouldn't a group gift be better at the end of the school year?

Anyway, an 'experienced' mum with older children said a £10-£20 contribution per child/family is normal and it's split between the teacher and TA. Given there are 30 children in the class we'd end up with between 300 and 600 quid, which seems bonkers.

Turns out I was in a minority of 1 in thinking it was OTT/tacky/morally wrong. A few people jumped in to say how much the teacher does, caring for our children every day, going above and beyond, how wonderful she is etc. How none of us would think twice about spending £20 on a takeaway. Another said she couldn't get a bottle of wine and chocs for £20 so it's a good deal, plus it saves her time. And that she sometimes also bakes or whatever as well as the donation.

There are just so many things about this I don't agree with. It's the teacher's job, she's not a saint, wouldn't it embarrass her, she'd have to declare it, could it be seen as bribery, I think the parent who suggested we can all chuck £20 away without thinking about it is clueless about most people's finances, I think the thank you should come from the child, not the parents in a grand gesture of performative gratitude, if Teach is so wonderful why wouldn't you go to more effort, larger value doesn't equal greater thanks, if we're raising a big chunk of money wouldn't it be better spent on equipment for the school, etc . . . I could go on.

This is in a (turns out more affluent than I realised) London suburb. Everyone else has responded saying they'd transferred money, mostly a tenner. I know in the grand scheme of things a tenner isn't much but that's not the main point.

I actually emailed the school about this and whether their gifting policy could state a cap on gift amounts. But their reply just said parents can give what they want and that it isn't a policy issue as doesn't affect the children.

I reckon I'm the only one of 30 sets of parents not contributing. I now feel a bit isolated from the group for thinking differently.

In my NQT year, a parent sent a lovely email to my head teacher. Completely free and the best gift I've ever had. In years to come I won't remember who put what in for what voucher, but I will remember that child clear as day.

Everyone likes to be appreciated.

this Is absolutely ridiculous. I was a TA for 10 years and never received or expected any more than a card from the pupils. Parents have enough to pay out on without spending out this kind of money on teachers gifts. Maybe people are earning too much now.

Beyond belief! A £1/2 contribution from each child towards a voucher would be fine in my estimation. Just multiply all the £300 for all the teachers in the school and it would be a massive injection to school funds. Yes, some teachers do put in extra effort but that doesn't necessitate lavishing them with excessive gifts. The teachers themselves should insist on a policy on gifts being applied.YANBU

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The problem isn’t with the giving, it’s clearly with the culture at your school. I like to give gifts at xmas and £10 split between the teacher and two TAs really is mere pounds each. We do a PayPal pool and don’t stipulate an amount but most parents put in about a tenner. Your donation isn’t listed and you can even choose to be fully anonymous. For parents for whom a tenner is way too mu can at a right time of year a couple of pounds is still hugely appreciated, no one is counting. We also invite all parents to sign the card, it’s not a “this gift is from...” notice. I think a nice treat over Xmas is deserved for teachers and assistants, I don’t care if I got sweet FA over Xmas in my job (I did).

I am a teacher and I've never heard of anyone being given that kind of 'money' as a collective Christmas gift and would be horribly embarrassed if I did!! In response to what is appreciated most I can tell you this-I've been teaching for 23 years and have kept all the cards from parents and children who have written their appreciation at the end of each year- I really value them- not for cpd or anything just for the thought that went into them. As for 'present' suggestions, as asked for...what I'd really like are some new paint brushes for the kids, or coloured pencils, handwriting pens, sellotape...a stapler, Hole punch, file dividers....getting carried away now!! A voucher for the range or the works would be amazing!! Theres no money in schools for this anymore. So we end up buying them ourselves and having husbands threaten us with divorce over it. Better still get us a government who will actually invest in children and give a damn about special needs in school. Rant over!!

It’s standard practice at my children’s school (private prep). £10 for the teacher and £5 for the TA. 20 max per class. We usually give them John Lewis vouchers unless we know they have a particular interest and we then get vouchers related to that (eg theatre vouchers). There is no pressure to contribute and some people decide not to and get their own gift. It’s a win win as far as I am concerned. I don’t have to go out buying presents and the teachers don’t get 20 bottles of wine!

except it does affect the children, the ones whose parents cannot contribute
yep teachers pay for stuff out of their own pockets. they are also paid a professional sa

It has no effect on the child if the parents contribute or not. It is easy for parents to say to PTA "No, thank you for organising the collection but I prefer to get my on gifts" I do it every year. If I respect the teacher and TA I buy a gift of my choice, If I don't, then I don't - simples.

I’m a secondary teacher and have 2 DCs at (independent) primary school. I was asked for £20 for DD’s yr2 teacher and have said no. We do not ‘earn a pittance’ as some patronising PP put it and I feel that whilst it is lovely to give a gift if you/the child wants to, this is excessive and embarrassing. My kids like going to M&S or similar and picking out something for their teachers and I then make sure that they write a card.

I do find it very strange that £20 per child is seen as the norm at primary, even the most well-liked secondary teachers rarely get so much as a card. I’m no keener than the rest of you on mugs, trinkets etc, but if your child has a really committed, talented secondary tutor or a subject teacher they particularly like, who will inevitably influence their final exam grades in many cases, surely that’s worth a card and a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers just as much as the primary teacher is worth a £20 whip round? Not being hoary, I just don’t understand the complete difference in cultures.

*goady!
(Not being hoary either, mind.)

Chickoletta

I think it’s because at primary there is a single class teacher that all the parents know (and who does 90% of the teaching). So it’s easy to organise.
At secondary, all the kids have different timetables and teachers. Too much faff for parents.

I'd pay a tenner to fit, but I'm with OP in principle. I'm an ex-teacher and I don't think £150 gift is appropriate either in amount or in principle.

"surely that’s worth a card and a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers just as much as the primary teacher is worth a £20 whip round?"

It is, but secondary children don't want to be the brown-nosing suck-up who waltzes into school with gift bags of wine for their favourite teachers.

At primary they like you and it's not uncool to say that or give a gift.

@Chickoletta makes a good point. I have a huge amount of respect for all teachers and my children have been lucky enough to have some fantastic ones.
The ones who really went above and beyond were the secondary school teachers who came into school in their own time during Christmas, feb half term and Easter holidays to do extra revision classes when my eldest DS was doing his GCSE's. Who emailed and Skyped him when he broke his knee and couldn't attend school so that he could catch up and not fall behind, they also kept in regular contact with me and were absolutely amazing. Secondary school teachers don't get enough appreciation imo. I'm not saying primary school teachers aren't equally as good but secondary teachers rarely get a look in when it comes to thank you cards and gifts.

I do not buy teachers gifts like this. I may get them bottle of wine each but contribute a tenner...no. I love the teachers at my childrens school, however I know they wouldn't want this spending on them. They would prefer an alcoholic beverage or some pens for the class

Definitely an alcoholic beverage for the class.

Just don’t do it, stand your ground. It’s damm right obscene this behaviour. Teachers do a job they get paid for doing; why should it be teachers why not the police, fire fighters, nurses your GP, and everybody who does their job. I’m equally surprised regarding the school policy, as public servants they should not be accepting gifts of this magnitude. Parents need to get a grip and stop this competitive nonsense and stop bullying other parents into giving ridiculous sums. I think your idea of a simple gift from you child is far more suitable and should be more acceptable and appreciated by the teacher. And as a one teacher on here mentioned give the money to the school fund so they have the equipment to use in class.

PMSL,

I used to be the poor sucker that got roped into doing the collecting. Was a thankless task. Particularly never got thanked by the teachers! This never happened when I was a child back in he olden days.

I'm a teacher and never had collections until I moved to my current school. At the end of the year I got a lovely gift voucher... Still not spent it, but when I do it will be on something for me that I wouldn't usually get for myself. I want to be able to remember the class so I'll most likely go for jewellery to keep for a long time.
I also got a lot of individual gifts. My favourites were the cards with lovely words in (I always keep them) and personalised stuff for my classroom, but also for my family, with names or surname on. Love those things!

I think it totally unnecessary to give teachers presents. A nice card should suffice

One year, they forgot me as the TA and the teacher had £150-200 spent on her whilst I didn't get a card...teacher was confused and very embarrassed.

Once my sons reached year 5 it was very frowned upon by the kids to give teacher anything but in these frugal days chipping in for classroom extras might be good. It's become highly competitive esp in wealthier areas - quite obscene really

@GeorgiaLove
Not said in jest. If we are “fools” to give our teacher £50 per head each, that’s our prerogative. It’s fairly normal in the area I live. Which Is a fairly wealthy area of the country. Not quite sure why that’s a problem for you personally and I’m not going to apologise for it 🙄

It is okay to be morally tight in your own mind, disagree in principle but go along with the crowd for something this minor.

I have been to plenty of sales where teachers in affluent areas sell unwanted gifts still in boxes. I think that is pretty stinky but I guess I understand. How many Best Teacher things do you need?

My dear friend is a teacher who "pushes in" several classrooms to help with dc who need extra help. She is excellent, kind and patient and most of her students catch up.

She NEVER gets anything; from teachers she helps or parents. I thought I would go mental when she called on the last day and told me how one ungrateful teacher really rubbed her nose in both her good fortune and the lack of appreciation directed towards my friend.

She would have been happy with a card. Teaching is a job. Not all are good at it or deserve a bonus. Quite a few a rotten.. My dc are thankfully finished now and my "wise" advice is to do the least possible fuss and money without looking badly to anyone and move on.

I have NEVER seen a teacher swayed by a gift. I think a tenner is a great and easy way to check a painful gift off the list. But not more than that; if you are feeling generous think of someone like my friend and buy a nice card or chocolate.

The WORST, most corrupt school had HUGE gifts. They filled the office areas with lavish gift baskets. It was not a wealthy area, just corrupt. We left after that first year