To shave down there for my partners sake

[Loneranger14]

I used to always fully shave down there but now been mid 30s and 4 DC later I go all natural, my OH told me last night to shave downstairs I carnt even go to the toilet without having 1 of my DC clinging to my leg never mind a bit of me time, he said he doesn't like it and wants me to shave but to be honest I really don't care and haven't got time and it doesn't bother me. So I guess my question is aibu to not give in to his request

I don’t think I’d actively choose to have my body quite so trimmed and neat

In your post you said how bordering on unhealthy physically and psychologically it was having it bare. So how is a woman's personal and individual choice to keep it bare less healthy than you only doing it because of perceived fashions?

If you don't want to trim don't trim. I don't like having a hairy bush so I trim it. It suits me. I have no partner. If a partner wanted it hairy he'd have to want. If it was the norm to have a hairy bush, I'd still trim it because that's how I want it.

I'm a bit about men who want a complete shave in their PH, why do they want her to have a vulva like a little girl?!

Tell him you'll shave if he irons his ballbag

Best thing I've read in ages!

Another thread descending to the depths with all the male apologists here to tell women how to be "womanly" enough for their men

@VenusTiger thanks. She doesn't seem to be the only one. I keep seeing porn and little girl. The fuck?

He needs to sod off with his silly comments.. Does he not realise,that Winter is upon us now, and your vagina area needs a fur coat to keep warm !

@SevenStones I’m just taking a step back from myself and noticing what other pressures I am under. We are all fairly aware that our personal choices are heavily influenced dont we?

That is not to say we like some more than others. I love that I have more choice as a woman than my mother did - it’s not me that that’s changed that but I like the change.

Some very funny posts though! Very tired now. Gosh we should all go sleep we’ve got a lot of body grooming to do in the morning!

I recently read an article on why we have pubic hair and how we need to leave our pubic hair and not shave it. I can't remember all the things the article said now but one reason we have pubic hair is to help with friction during sex. Another was that pubic hair keeps germs from entering our girly bits.

My ex wanted me to shave. I didn't. He did and it looked weird on him. My current partner likes my bush and I like his.

Tell him if he wants to see bald fanny, go watch a damn millennial porno movie.

You, be you. Don't live for anybody else, only for yourself!

This thread turned weird. I shave down there and not once watched porn. Oh and I haven't had a partner in over two years. I don't wish to feel like a pre puberty child either. I was pressured by no one.

Individuals won't necessary remove their public hair because of porn.

It's that the fashion for removing public hair has come about because of porn.

Understand the difference?

As for gagging during oral sex, do people really think this is the first generation to have oral sex?!

People have been merrily having oral sex for millennia.

OTOH, the widespread fashion for removing public hair has been around for, hmm, about 20-odd years, i.e. since the arrival of online porn.

Suddenly gagging is such a massive issue that you need to remove your public hair because of it? I don't think so.

Our personal preferences aren't so much our own. Just about everything is influenced by our culture and advertising.

What on earth would happen if women loved themselves and their bodies the way they were! The beauty and fashion industry would lose billions

If you don't want to shave don't. I can't be arsed with it.

As for blokes posting, of course they can. It's just about tiresome that the only threads they show up on have to do with sex.

Woman being locked in her house trying to escape some whack job: crickets from men.
Woman finding out her DH is cheating with random howorker: crickets from men
Shite relationship with relative post: crickets from men

panties post: men there with bells on
sex toy post: men there with bells on

if you expect oral he will end up gagging on your pubes

Oh FGS. Yes everyone should do what they feel comfortable with , but I settled down with DH later than average and had a long, varied and adventurous sexy life before that. Only one sexual partner was not into oral sex, at all ever, irrespective of hair choices, none ‘gagged ‘ , none showed any lack of enthusiasm as a result of my pubes au naturel.

Risking infection for the sake of esthetics is foolish.
I think you should tell him so.

My friend trains social workers & does group sessions with teenagers in care and as part of the normal bodies / real life sex / porn / prevent exploitation etc part of the course she shows the kids pictures of different pubic areas ( male and female) they are all horrified by anything except the bald porn star look.
Girls and boys.
Plus when shown pics of real tits or fake tits none of the boys believe the natural tits are real 😳
I used to shave or wax everything but honestly at 44 it seems odd now and I just trim my bikini line and keep it neat ( for me as I swim a lot , I don't want any Pervy old men at my gym looking for tufts or stray bush but I'm paranoid haha ) I'm probably the least hairy person as I'm naturally blonde everywhere and have very fine body hair.
If my very , very hairy DH dared to say anything about my pubic hair I'd offer to give him a back, crack and sack wax and as I'm not a beautician I don't think it would be a positive experience for him 😂

I've been shaving mine for over 25 years and have managed to avoid infection so far

@Aquamarine1029 it's great you and your husbands preferences match but him being horrifed if you chose to shave sounds controlling AF.

Nonsense.

It means he likes her just the way she is, and is glad/relieved she doesn't feel compelled to conform to a questionable fashion whim.

Pretty much the exact opposite of controlling!

If he liked her just the way she is, he would have said just that. What if her pubic hair fell off? My mum got bald of all body hair age 40. Or would he change his mind to accommodate new circumstances? or would his words come back to haunt her? Makes no sense.

What is it with adult men who want an adult woman sexual partner to present like a 9-year-old girl, seriously?

Can they not see the implications of that staring them horrifyingly on the face?

Are they afraid of grown women?

This should never be asked of a woman by a man until he has kept his entire body from the chin down completely hairless by regular waxings for a year. That should fix it.

If a woman chooses to wax/shave her pudendum, it's her business; nobody has the right to expect it and the request should only be made after long and careful consideration of motive and likely response.

I would rather stop having sex than start removing pubic hair.

(Alternatively, if you don't want to with me the way I am you can right off...)

TMI WARNING
I'm as radfem as the best of them but I find that oral sex is horrible with pubic hair growth on my labia. If I'm going to have sex I shave underneath so that my partner can get to the whole area with his tongue and mouth because otherwise he'd be licking a rough hairy surface which wouldn't feel pleasant for him and I'd feel nothing.
I also like him to shave his balls if I'm going to give oral because again, licking a hairy surface is like trying to stimulate a carpet and isn't nice for either of us.

If I wanted to receive oral sex (which I do) and my partner asked me to shave so he could do it I wouldn't be offended. I'd have already done it in expectation tbf Its nothing to do with looking like porn women or pre pubescent. I leave the bush intact just shave underneath. I expect some women have nice soft short tidy pubes but if your pubes grow long and unruly like mine you don't want them in the way!

However I must also say any man who 'told' me to do anything with my body wouldn't be going anywhere near my vulva so I agree with you OP for your response. Just throwing in an alternative to the 'ew pornsick wanker' perspective.

@LimeRedBanana actually before porn pervs pedo demanded we turned into 7 years old, one of the first modern trends came into the 60's with the arrival of bikinis. There's always a trend. Some women today might feel they go against fashion but study says 75% European women go natural now. I reckon the rise in feminism and a call for nature Cool. Whatever works for individuals.

As for me, I got tired of messy period getting entangled in there and shave it since I am utterly crap at trimming. I instantly liked it better that way. Then realised I had more sexual pleasure that way. Double gain. Each to their own, 100%

Has it occurred to anyone that men who like it bare don't have a thing for children, but for grannies?

I hope all these hairy men with their big man mouths who nonetheless gag dramatically on a stray pubic hair never ask their sexual partners - female or male - to insert anything larger than an orange pip in their own mouths?!

Oh wait, that wouldn't arise, would it?

@BillHadersNewWife Or maybe her husband knows what he is doing.