To shave down there for my partners sake

[Loneranger14]

I used to always fully shave down there but now been mid 30s and 4 DC later I go all natural, my OH told me last night to shave downstairs I carnt even go to the toilet without having 1 of my DC clinging to my leg never mind a bit of me time, he said he doesn't like it and wants me to shave but to be honest I really don't care and haven't got time and it doesn't bother me. So I guess my question is aibu to not give in to his request

@prawnsword sorry I’m not dissing your preference, I just don’t get the triangle thing? To me it’s like overly ordering the messy beautiful thing that is sex.

@MummytoCSJH

Ask him why on earth he'd prefer your body to look like that of a prepubescent child?

AND

@Aquamarine1029

My husband has told me very plainly that while I can do whatever I wish with my body, he would be horrified if I went bald "down there." He is attracted to a grown woman's body, not the body of a child. Your husband can fuck off.

Whilst I think the OP's husband is being ridiculous (and she can do what she wants,) why do these threads about women shaving their pubic hair ALWAYS bring out these type of revolting and repugnant posts?

Saying a man who likes a shaved or trimmed bush on a woman likes it because he is into little children, is a vile and disgusting thing to say.

And as a pp said earlier, you really have some serious issues if you think a grown woman with her pubic hair shaved off looks like a little child.

I am also fucked off with people saying that men who like a trimmed or shaved bush are obviously into porn. Just bore off ...

Being told to do anything makes you feel like an object.
I wouldn’t do it on that basis alone.

@LucieLucie I totally agree, it’s controlling which is an utter turn off

Summercat, where do you think the preference for a shaven vulva would have come from?

Probably the same place as a shaved or well trimmed cock. Some of us don't want to be picking hair out of our throats

@Summercat

you really have some serious issues if you think a grown woman with her pubic hair shaved off looks like a little child. hmm

No, I don’t believe men think this, but, we have actual knowledge (memory) of what our snatch looked like before we had pubes and it makes some women uncomfortable- that’s not serious issues, it’s personal preference.

I am also fucked off with people saying that men who like a trimmed or shaved bush are obviously into porn

I can see why PPs think this, have you ever seen a porno in the last 30 years where the woman had a full on muff? .. shaving is a visual thing for the viewer and they can’t see it with muff.

This may be too much information but I shave, I do it however for my own personal preference and if any man told me to "let it regrow" I'd tell him to fuck off, so I suppose the same applies in your situation OP on the reverse, if you're happy with how "it" is leave it be.

I can understand him not liking the hairs though, I don't particularly like it on men either when giving them oral but I wouldn't dream of asking him to shave.

I do think many of us as women do feel not 110% confident that we are sex goddesses and we are living in a very glossy high standard of appearance age. Well women anyway! Men it’s still associated with strength.

So although most of us know it’s a little ridiculous, trimming I can see and small changes but totally bald down there is bordering on the unhealthy - physically as well as psychologically.

I do conform and ‘keep it tidy’ however I am increasingly aware of judgement as I enter the single market and it makes me feel unsexy and sad.

Really good sex is about connection and too much judgement and overgrooming makes it something else entirely. We lose something. Especially when the onus is on the woman to be so extreme, because it is fairly extreme. Don’t we lose the point of amazing sex by conforming so rigidly?

And unfortunately there is a well documented connection to porn and to a girlish look which is unhealthy for us going forward.

Tell him it reminds you of Pre puberty children and you don't want to be like that as you're a grown woman?

Your body your choice.

I prefer men to be clean shaven facially. Doesn't mean I am attracted to young boys who haven't started to grow facial yet (I feel revolting even typing that).

A womans' body, shaven or unshaven is a womans' body. It's disgusting to suggest that a) men are thinking of children and b) women are facilitating this.

I do conform

What's unhealthy is conforming when you don't want to.

@WhineUp

where do you think the preference for a shaven vulva would have come from?

Maybe these men just like the look of a shaved bush, (and the feel of it,) and enjoy sex more without the pubes. (especially oral.) And maybe she does too. The sensations are different and more enhanced without pubes. For him AND her. It has naff-all to do with her looking like a pre-pubescent child FFS.

It's absolutely disgusting to suggest that if a man likes a woman with a shaved bush, that he likes it because he is 'into children.' Frankly, it says a lot more about you than that man - or the woman who shaves/trims her bush.

I wonder what is wrong with anyone who thinks this way, I really do. I pity you.

I don't get it. Why the absolute outrage at a partner having a preference for something and asking OP if she'll do it? He hasn't tantrummed over it. He likes it. She used to do it anyway so he knows it's no big deal, why is it so horrendous that he's said, "I like it when you do that, would you do it again?"

DH is pretty hairy. Prior to meeting me he used to trim. I ask him to leave to grow it because I like it better. He's not arsed either way, although he does look in the mirror and shrug sometimes how he doesn't understand why I like it because it's unkempt and messy in his opinion.

He leaves it because I like it. What on earth is wrong with that No, I don't have a fetish for hairy old men or an addiction to 70s chest rug porn. The similar comments about OP's DH having his preference because he must have a porn obsession or be into prepubescent girls, are seriously pathetic. DH knows I find it really attractive, and god forbid, he only then goes along with something his wife really likes. He doesn't have too. But he's not some under the thumb little minion at my command, it's just that he knows it makes me happy. The audacity!

No OP, you don't have to shave. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. But YABU for acting like DH is an ogre because he expressed a preference.

Summercat, you absolute magnificent fool - I have stated upthread that the child argument is bonkers.

@SevenStones I know however I don’t think I’d actively choose to have my body quite so trimmed and neat if it wasn’t for recent cultural norms. I am going to be single very soon and even though I don’t want to shave completely down there, I don’t know what to do as a lot of men will judge that. And so will other women (even if I don’t sleep with them... )

This thread turned weird. I shave down there and not once watched porn. Oh and I haven't had a partner in over two years. I don't wish to feel like a pre puberty child either. I was pressured by no one. I don't know, what's my issue, do I need help?

@Summercat my point stands, some women not men feel uncomfortable about it that it makes us look underage as we remember how it looked back then. That’s important! Are you going to pity those women who think that?

Wow can't believe men really truly want their partners - grown women to look like pre pubescent girls. It's so creepy. Tell him to fuck off and stop watching porn, and to really address why he finds it attractive. It's really strange.

@Alicia1234 you have no issues. Summercat is suggesting some of us who don’t like it do.

(Oh, in case it's pertinent - I've had all of my body hair lasered off. I do know damn well that 'muh choicez' have been influenced by a porn soaked society. I mean, why else would anyone get rid of something that's there for a reason, and completely natural?)

Whenever I hear laser hair removal, I just think of people running around with guns and green lights pointing them at naked people!

Cauli I am unshaved...my DH has never once "gagged on my pubes".

Perhaps your DP has a weak gag reflex or it's not your pubes he's been gagging on.

Well bugger me backwards. There was me thinking I took the lot off through personal preference as it makes me feel cooler (temperature-wise) but actually I'm rigidly conforming, mentally unhealthy and trying to attain high grooming standards! That's me told!

Look, my vulva is my business and it really does not need analysing. If you feel as though you have to conform to some sort of perceived standard then that's your issue and I suggest you work on placing less importance on whether men find you attractive or not. Have the confidence in yourself to do whatever you want (or nothing at all) to your bush as it's nobody's decision but your own and certainly not the decision of some bloke.