To shave down there for my partners sake

[Loneranger14]

I used to always fully shave down there but now been mid 30s and 4 DC later I go all natural, my OH told me last night to shave downstairs I carnt even go to the toilet without having 1 of my DC clinging to my leg never mind a bit of me time, he said he doesn't like it and wants me to shave but to be honest I really don't care and haven't got time and it doesn't bother me. So I guess my question is aibu to not give in to his request

Why do men like shaved vulvas?

Because they find the vulva to be an interesting sight. A patch of hair less so.

It is like with anything else perhaps. If you like looking at a beautiful sunset, the Mona Lisa, a pair of breasts, the view from your balcony, then anything that covers it up or at least obscures your view, might not be your preference.

Do people similarly scratch their heads as to why many men prefer to see women topless rather than with a top on.

I'd be so upset if DH said this to me. He doesn't seem to mind, shaved or not, but I tend to shave because I prefer it.

On the other side of the coin, I really hate that he shaves his balls and base of his mighty spear and have actually asked him to stop, but he feels 'icky' with loads of hair so I have learned to keep quiet and put up with it!

YANBU...it's your choice!

I'm in my late 20s, throughout my teens and 20s it's been quite normal for women to have regular waxes or shave so I think a lot of men of my generation have grown up having sex with women with less hair (not necessarily Hollywood all off but definately "cultivated") so I don't think it's just about seeing porn.

As an aside - I read that the victorian art critic John Ruskin was so confused about women's bodies that he was disgusted when he saw his wife's public hair as he believed (based on classical paintings) that women didn't have any. So this topic isn't new one!

Also when you wax the area is so so soft... I think that's what men like... It makes the whole area softer than it normally is with hair and... Not to be too graphic but you can feel the moisture more as it doesn't get caught in hair.

Did I really just read someone claiming women's pubes smell 'pissy'?

Good grief.

Just to be clear - I'm not advocating that women should remove body hair. Realise it sounds below like I am. Just trying to explain why I think it's popular.

It feels like she has been stripped of something so that she is more readily available for the male gaze"

Why is it just the male who gets to look!! I like to look too! And it can be nicer when its more readily visible

unlike the male sex is its very hidden nature.
Why must a female remain hidden to be attractive?

I so think we need to be careful that we dont revert to whore and Madonna stereotyping....

If its inside the body you cant remove hair from it so you cant "preserve" its "hidden nature" by not shaving.

Thats also biology.

Begs a question what "hidden nature" you are preserving by not shaving...

that men like to see the female genitalia more readily without hair

Do only men have a visual preference?

I've passed on several men recently because (before they got anywhere near my house) they started implying they liked a hairless woman! The delights of modern dating

I missed the whole OLD thing, but it just seems incredible to me that the state of a woman's pubes even comes up in conversation - what? - before even meeting?!

What's wrong with some men?

Why does it matter so much to them? Even more, seemingly, than simple, base-level, just getting on well with a person...?

People keep saying on this thread - just do what you want with your pubic area, it's your choice, up to you, etc, etc.

But actually, it's not, is it?

There is massive pressure on women to remove, or drastically reduce, their pubic hair - and the pressure is from men.

I'm older, and while I do some basic maintenance, I definitely do not remove it. But I'm old enough to do what I want. I'm also married and not 'out there', so I can do what I want.

I do think there is pressure on younger women to conform - it's quite clear that there absolutely is an expectation from (a generation of) men that it look a certain way.

It's your body and your choice but with choice comes consequences.
Sexual attraction is very basic. If we (men and women) fancy a particular body /physical attribute then that's what we like. If we don't like it then it's a sexual turn off.
I for example cannot bear facial hair. If DH hasn't shaved (his face!) I don't fancy him and won't want to DTD..
Some people love piercings , some love thin people, some love fat. We can't change what we like...
if you know it's something that turns him off and IF you want him to enjoy sex then shave. If you don't , then don't. Its ALWAYS your choice.

It’s all personal taste - no pun intended

I would feel very uncomfortable if my husband wanted to give me oral and I wasn’t shaved. I certainly don’t go full on bald but I do keep it trimmed short and neat. I just feel better about myself that way, and as I said, I feel more comfortable during sex if things are tidy.

My husband doesn’t fully shave either but like me, he keeps it trimmed and tidy.

On occasions where he hasn’t tidied himself up in a while, I do find it off putting if I can feel lots of hair around my face and there’s nothing more of a turn off (for me) then feeling a stray pube in my mouth.

He once had to go almost bald on his sceptic in preparation for his vasectomy and I actually really liked it - but I would never ask him to do it again just for my benefit

We are just mindful of each other and we both prefer it if we are trimmed when it comes to oral sex.

@Loneranger14

A female without PH is an underage girl?

Men who like underage girls are called [???]

I know, I know

I wish my partner did remove his hair, it's extremely course and it often chafes me which isn't nice. But I'm guessing this isn't the case with the OP!

It would be disingenuous to suggest the fairly recent phenomenon of pubic hair removal did not coincide with the pornographication of modern society.

I'll suggest it again. In the old days when most people never really saw the body part in question in anything other than a haired state, maybe they didn't know what they were missing.

People see something on the screen, like it, want to replicate it in RL or their partners to. It is a natural reaction.

An obesrvation. Public har is there for a reason to make it attractive to the opposite sex.

Why do we have underarm hair?, most all women get rid i of it without a moments hesitation.

Men do not.

Why?.

People see something on the screen, like it, want to replicate it in RL or their partners to. It is a natural reaction.

I have never watched porn.
I still like myself trimmed and I still like DH to be trimmed.

It’s got nothing to do with us being influenced by porn, it’s just personal preference.

It’s got nothing to do with us being influenced by porn, it’s just personal preference.

You can keep saying it, and people will keep dismissing it.

As I said upthread, while your individual choice might not be influenced by porn, the fashion for removing pubic hair is influenced by porn.

As I was saying up thread I think it was initially influenced by porn but then it became normalised in the past 20 years or so to the extent I would say my generation are not used the seeing PH completely au natural.

I remember I was training for a swim a few years ago and the changing rooms were quite open plan... I had honestly never seen full public hair like that. It sounds ridiculous but I hadn't