To shave down there for my partners sake

[Loneranger14]

I used to always fully shave down there but now been mid 30s and 4 DC later I go all natural, my OH told me last night to shave downstairs I carnt even go to the toilet without having 1 of my DC clinging to my leg never mind a bit of me time, he said he doesn't like it and wants me to shave but to be honest I really don't care and haven't got time and it doesn't bother me. So I guess my question is aibu to not give in to his request

@Verymodest60sgirl that is very interesting. Sex is so private that I think a lot of changes we aren’t aware of. I do remember my mother hinting that ‘good’ girls didn’t do oral!

I’ve had some life experience and for me my best sexual experiences and relationships were all with men who couldn’t care less about my body hair. They were well groomed men so it wasn’t about being untidy. They just weren’t dictorial and even asking is I think quite a pressure.

Same with oral sex. The best oral sex I’ve experienced in a relationship again was with a man who Never ever put pressure on me to do it. So I always felt really unpressurized and weirdly enough it made me much more into it! Whereas previously I’d had many relationships where unless I did oral a lot they complained - or looked sad or whatever. I ended up feeling like a chunk of meat.

In the old days when the only porn was the centre fold of Playboy magazine, a full bush would greet you.

Perhaps back then people didn't know what they were missing. Apparently some women prefer circumsized men, but how would they have known that if they had only ever seen the regular kind as that was pretty much all most people ever saw.

Does your husband shave his pubes? Do you prefer him to be shaved down there? If yes you should offer the same consideration. If no keep it how you prefer it.

I d say " Yes dear. It takes about an hour a day to do it properly, so you look after DC from 6-7pm every night while I pop off to the bathroom to spruce myself up for you. "

The thing I always find a bit disturbing is when I read chick-lit/mums-lit novels. (This is fairly occasional.) But there is always this bit when the busy, stressed heroine suddenly has a big date and has to make time to shave her legs. (Commercial fiction is a bit coy when it comes to dealing with the heroine's pubes.) So there's this OMG I can't possibly see a man I fancy without removing bits of me scene. Because this is what Nice Heroines - and by extension - Nice Women do. There is also sometimes and Anti Heroine who lacks the womanly charm of the Heroine. Quite regularly there is then some scene to do with a beach or gym where it is revealed that - Shock Horror - the Anti Heroine has abundant pubic hair. This seems to symbolise the fact that she is a) Bad and b) a bit Mad and c) no Man could possibly desire her.

I'm very glad that Jane Austen remained silent on this subject....

If your husband chooses not to have sex with you unless you shave your vulva that's his choice.

Not having sex won't kill him.

I mentioned this to DP recently. He was taken aback that anyone would shave on their partner's say so. He has no preference either way, and would definitely not suggest I shaved for his 'benefit'.

I tried it once. I really didn't like it. I've never done it again.

Love this thread, but feel sad for the poster who thinks oral isn't vanilla...

I'd definitely do it if it meant I could have the bathroom to myself/no childcare for an hour a day! ... wouldn't happen would it?

It annoys me so much how men would never make as much effort shaving their bits for their partners. I'd prefer shaved balls and definitely a waxed back.

nannybeach you are far from alone. I've never shaved my pubic hair in my life and don't shave legs or oxters in winter either. My partner doesn't shave body hair either, though he does shave his face as his facial hair is pretty much like barbed wire and he finds it irritating. Not shaving pubes is entirely normal.

Bloody hell OP, he's noticed you're a woman not the pre-pubescent of his dreams. Sigh.

I much prefer men without beards. I hate kissing them touching them the lot, just yuck. The hair gets in the way.

Doesn't mean I'm into prepubescent boys

I feel jolly envious of those for whom hair has never got in the way. Mine gets in the way. It can tug on a man penis going in and out, it gets in the way of a vibrator and i can well imagine a man ending up choking on it... feels so much nicer/easier for me without!!

Similarly what are other people licking etc, that they dont get hair in their mouth. Id love a naked sack so i didnt have to stop to remove hair from my mouth!

As for it taking time oh lordy!! In the shower with a razor it takes no time at all and frankly its easier to take the lot off. Then its really quick to maintain.

Been without a partner for 6 months now. I for the first time in may be 6 years have a natural bush. Its itchy and annoying. And it does just get in the way. Its certainly testing my good intentions of improving my feminist credentials.

I feel envious of those fenimists whose pubic hair fits neatly in with their principles.

Btw, women of mumsnet, the world's only Vagina Museum opened last weekend in The Stables, Camden Lock. Haven't been but sound s like it might be worth a look. There's probably a shave or not? Section.

@NotTonightJosepheen My mum had me in the 1950s and shaving before delivery was the norm. It was something talked about in whispers, along with the obligatory enema (so I understand.) It was as you say considered barbaric and anti-woman.

There was also according to feminists, a way of de-sexualising women who were under the care of male drs during their deliveries.

So this idea what shaving = pre pubescent isn't that wide of the mark because some people did see mandatory shaving for childbirth as doing just that.

I've heard the argument here a million times that shaved women don't look like children, but if you consider evolution when women worse a few furs, a sign of fertility was pubes. Likewise, many women find they lose their pubic hair after the menopause- so hair shows fertility.
It's a signal to men they are fertile.

Similarly what are other people licking etc, that they dont get hair in their mouth. Id love a naked sack so i didnt have to stop to remove hair from my mouth
@VolcanionSteamArtillery well, as you've asked...more to the point what are you licking and how?
Most women lick the glans of the penis and some of the shaft, and in most men it's not hairy! And as for balls, unless the hair is coming out, it may go in your mouth but it doesn't mean you swallow it. How do you feel about hair men per se? Do you not nuzzle a hairy chest? Do you feel squeamish about any body hair anywhere?

@JinglingHellsBells Bottom of the penis shaft can be hairy and you mention the balls. Do people not suck and lick those? Sideways if necessary!! Id get bored and jaw ache if i just sucked on the top. sometimes hair can escape by itself. I get your not meant to swallow it and choking is a bit hyperbole for effect but it can be a bloody pain when it sticks to your tongue or the back of your thoat. I can imagine it being the same for men especially if their female folk have as naturally thick wirey long hair as mine. I appreciate not having to move it out the way on the way in!

No idea as noone ive been with was particularly hairy body wise!!. Maybe thats subconscious choice. I do absolutely despise facial hair.

Yes it should be a choice but i dont see anything thing wrong in having or expressing a preference. And i think because it is akward people are more likely to fluff expressing that preference.

But pubic hair is smooth when left.

Not all.

Most women lick the glans of the penis and some of the shaft, and in most men it's not hairy! And as for balls, unless the hair is coming out, it may go in your mouth but it doesn't mean you swallow it.

Some men have a lot of hair at the base of the shaft. If you are giving oral and want to lick the balls you can't if there is a lot of long hair there. It's horrible.

But pubic hair is smooth when left.

Yeah really not. Or at least not everyone's. Mine curls

Yanbu. I am the same I do shave once a month, if I get a few hours to myself.
It is definitely not at the top of my agenda.
I do it for me when I do it.
I always leave some I can't do full shave. Its cringy to me.
Mine is light so not to bad.

Who the fuck ‘gagS ’ on pubes. That made me spit my tea out. 😂

I wax many many vaginas every day I bloody hope not!!! For the reason JinglingHellsBells described! Now that would hurt! Not to mention how it would feel!

@VolcanionSteamArtillery To be fair, I did say some of the shaft and yes it can be hairy at the base. But are we all so blinking squeamish over a bit of hair?