What I wanted to say, what I actually said...

[YouthGoneMild]

As I’ve got older I’ve got better at biting my tongue, but sometimes what I wanted to say (versus what I actually said) bubbles angrily in me and today is one of those days!

So feel free to join me in letting out that you actually wanted to say and what you actually said. I guess this is lighthearted, so don’t go too deep, ok?

I’ll go first before I exploded:

What I said “I’m sure the school are trying their hardest and the staff are very stretched”

What I wanted to say “Your sense of entitlement makes me want to scream. I’m sure the teacher has better things to worry about than one sodding missing Smiggle pen and you’re a total knob for trying to speak to the Head about it!!!”’

What I said: “Yes, I guess it is our turn to go to your Father’s for Christmas as we’ve not spent it with him for 5 years”.

What I wanted to say “I’d rather eat Xmas
dinner at McDonalds than sit in the company of that drunken, arrogant snob. At least there no one will get so drunk that they wet themselves” (past Xmas nightmare visit)

Ooooh that felt good!!

What I said:
Yes, times are hard but I'd appreciate you finding the cash to help with our grandchildren.

What I wanted to say:
Our grandchildren are in need of new clothes and shoes. I've had temporary custody of them for the past 16 weeks and between myself and my husband, their STEP grandfather, we have paid for the roof over their heads, the food in their bellies and plenty of school costs and I gave up my part-time job to take care of them. I only asked you for $50 and you can't fucking tell me you can't help me because you just told me you're off to the Philippines next year, you're selling your car to buy a new spec and you literally just bought a new house for $400K this summer and you skinflint, you just told me this past minute you had just purchased $200 of flowers for the house's new garden. You're a sorry excuse of a pathetic human being, a sorry piece of shit and every day I hate that I STILL have to deal with your crap and I hope you go to hell!

Ooh, I feel better.

What I say:
What I want to say: You do realise you're supposed to CUT OFF that stitching in the vent of your coat, don't you? Did you really think it was supposed to be stitched up forever?

Saying it would make me seem very judgemental but honestly, I see hundreds of people every winter with the stitching left on and the back of the coat not sitting right.

Yes, lighthearted.

Kittens Yes! Every year I think that. It shouldn't annoy me, but it does.

In a meeting today where I hadn't been introduced to someone who started to criticise a piece of my work;

"Oh you must be Clive, no one has introduced us"

What I wanted to say;

"So you're another X profession Twat, I knew who you were instantly"

To toxic mother, what I said was nothing, and we haven't spoken in more than a year.

What I should have said - why the fuck do you think I can afford to keep forking out "loans" until your next benefit payment when I've just told you that I'm now on statutory maternity pay and DP is now a full time student? Also, stop calling if its only to borrow money. Also, you've seen your grandson 6 times since he was born, 5 of which were when I dragged my PND ravaged, sleep deprived arse to you, when a bus leaves from outside your house amd stops at the end of my fucking road. You can travel 450 miles to see your brother and 20 miles every week to see my jailbird brother. I just want a normal fucking mum and gran for my son. Aaaarrrgghhhh.

Toomuchisneverenough, of topic slightly, but what if your baby was big? Mine was born just after Christmas so his first Christmas he was definitely in 12-18 months...

Lulualla baggity bag has cheered me right up

Hmm I've a few of those especially with my Dad he is nearly 70 highly critical. I often picture myself shouting right in his face.
On a funny foot in mouth.
My boss texted to ask me if the window cleaner turn up after he left.
I replied yes the window cleaner turned up, he was great, I wasn't waiting long I came straight away.
Meant he arrived straight away after the boss left.
He didn't answer me, I pretended I didn't notice.

Two spring to mind.

What I said to exmil "Thanks so much for buying him (my son, their grandson) a coat, shall give it back next time"
What I wanted to say "well if your son actually paid for his effing child I'd be able to buy my son everything in double so he had a wash and a wear"

To a relatively recently single friend.
What I said "Its probably best if you're single for a while, focus on yourself"
What I wanted to say "Stay away from men, you keep picking absolute dicks and all that happens is they drag you down and we are left picking up the pieces"

What friend said-" he's my soulmate".
What I wanted to say was "he's a bloody conman who just wants your money and cba working. I really dislike him. He makes me skin crawl".
What I actually said-"aww I'm so happy for you, mate".