What I wanted to say, what I actually said...

[YouthGoneMild]

As I’ve got older I’ve got better at biting my tongue, but sometimes what I wanted to say (versus what I actually said) bubbles angrily in me and today is one of those days!

So feel free to join me in letting out that you actually wanted to say and what you actually said. I guess this is lighthearted, so don’t go too deep, ok?

I’ll go first before I exploded:

What I said “I’m sure the school are trying their hardest and the staff are very stretched”

What I wanted to say “Your sense of entitlement makes me want to scream. I’m sure the teacher has better things to worry about than one sodding missing Smiggle pen and you’re a total knob for trying to speak to the Head about it!!!”’

What I said: “Yes, I guess it is our turn to go to your Father’s for Christmas as we’ve not spent it with him for 5 years”.

What I wanted to say “I’d rather eat Xmas
dinner at McDonalds than sit in the company of that drunken, arrogant snob. At least there no one will get so drunk that they wet themselves” (past Xmas nightmare visit)

Ooooh that felt good!!

What I said. " There are concerns about your personal hygiene and the effect it is having on those that work around you".
This to a staff member who clearly rolled out of bed each morning and into yesterday's gear....every day.
What I wanted to say. " Plants die when you walk past them. Get in the fecking shower, use deodorant and change your clothes you bloody worzel!"

Before the vipers jump in, there was nothing wrong with him, he just didn't think anyone noticed that he preferred late nights gaming to actually washing occasionally.

What I should have said: wow DS, that's a really interesting question you've just asked, but I'm tired from the last 37485859366 you've just asked.
What I actually said: I don't care about sodding Ben 10 or his aliens.

I think my oldest boy may be working for you, Rosspoldarkssaddle. My apologies. His ADD/Aspergers makes him doubly difficult to get through to. Good luck, because he pays more heed to stranger than me. bulk buys soap, body spray, fly spray and air freshener, to post to Rosspoldarkssaddle He’s your problem now!

What I said I'm really sorry but we don't do plastic bags anymore (after getting a mouthful of abuse from a customer.
What I wanted to say fuck off, do I look like I care?

VeniceQueen. Im. going to memorise that one, absolutely bloody marvellous

In my teens I had to use the phonetic alphabet to confirm car registration numbers for a callcentre temp job. ie - A -alpha, B-bravo C- charlie etc.

What I wanted to say was Y- yankee but every time I tried to say it came out Y- WANKEE!!! V. embarrassing.

EdinaMonsoon 👏👏👏 I applaud you.

What I said "ok"

What I should have said "fuck you, you fucking bastard, move out"

What I wanted to say: "Thanks so much for your time, top-level highly respected professor at Princeton university. I'll call you next week. Have a great evening. Bye!"

What I actually said (watching my DP and DSS walk out of the front door): "Love you, bye!"

GROAN.

What I said: "all is well here, thanks for asking"

What I should have said " well bitches the fact I've messaged every other day for the last 2 weeks asking if anyone has time for a coffee and a chat doesn't concern you, I also know you've all read the messages from the blue ticks"

Polite responses to all emails in the run-up to an audit

vs

GO AWAY!!!

Toomuchisneverenough Fabulous, don't know how you kept that in.

Was picking up a bottle of semi skimmed milk with DD at the corner shop and the man also buying milk told me the reason kids are sick all the time is because we've been brainwashed into thinking whole milk is bad for children so we give them semi-skimmed and skimmed milk with all the nutrients stripped out.

What I wish I'd said instead of "oh haha well... Uhm.." was "oh will you sod off and mind your own business, I don't remember bloody asking you, fruitloop!"

Have a neighbour I was temporarily more friendly with but she acted terribly at an event and was awful to me and my friends. She has been ceremonially downgrades back to neighbour. She is badmouthing me all over and actually making ridiculous shit up about me but I’m trying to maintain a ‘dignified’ silence because she’s an idiot and I cannot be bothered trying to correct the malicious wank she is spouting. I’d loved to knock on her door and tell her what a pathetic bitter old trout she is, she was lucky to have me as a friend and if she doesn’t stop spouting trash I’ll be forced to make a very public statement on social media about all the stuff I know about her and her family!! Gahhh!!!!

What I wanted to say: I’m really hurt that since my mum died suddenly and arthritis has taken hold of me in the most horrible way, you (my former closest friend) don’t have time for me anymore.

What I said: Hello- how are you? 🙂

VanyaHargreeves
I haven't read the whole thread.
But I have found one of my people

No, mum, I understand. It’s a massive faff coming to us for Christmas and of course, the dog’s sore poor is very worrying.

Instead of ‘I don’t know, what do YOU think? As you haven’t made it up to see me since my heart attack and 3 heart surgeries this year I’m guessing I’m too low on the list to visit at Christmas. I’m sure you’d prefer us to come to you in your one-bedroomed falling apart mobile home and end up splurging the best part of a grand on hotels/lunch, and expect us to do our own thing apart from the actual Christmas lunch. Still, let’s hope the dog’s fucking paw gets better, eh?’

What I said during the discussion about my Dad's will:-
Of course it's OK that your new wife gets to divide all your money between us, your real kids and her kids, and of course its OK that the isa she has is only split between her 2 as after all that's all the money she has
What I wanted to say:-
Are you actually taking the pi##? So HER kids get a share of your pension, the house you bought "together" and everything else you've accrued over the last 50 years but we don't get a share of her isa? You absolute gob sh#tes!

What I said was "she sure is becoming a young lady"

What I wanted to say was "no, she isn't getting 'so tall' at all. She is 14 years old and 4'6" and she is not going to fucking grow anymore! Where the hell have you been that you can't remember her being this same damn height for ages?"

I said"yes I know , that's terrible.It's a lot of work"

what I wanted to say "quit your bloody whining. I have twice as much work as you and half the time to do it, and yet somehow I manage to get the damn work done. Try spending less time gossiping with your cliquey mates and maybe you too could get your work done - and by the way you earn more than me so do so actual proper work".

What I sad. Yes it is important for children to express themselves and yes it can be seen as bad behaviour. What I wanted to say. No your child is a total little shit and really needs taken in hand and taught that in life everything doesn’t always go his way .

I am the only person who mil did not give a birthday card to this year. I think she blames me for the fact we’ve not seen them since Boxing Day last year.
I want to say’ ffs, do you realise it is your son that doesn’t send birthday cards, I remind him all the time, but have given up on sending them myself because you’ve ignored my 2dc for years now, instead favouring your other 2 dgc. I have suggested many a time that we have family get togethers, but your precious ds (my DH) isn’t interested. You are a waste of space as grandparents and I wish that others would see this’
That felt good!

What I said: "They've offered me the job, and I think I'm going take it"

What I wanted to say: "I told you that if I feel completely unappreciated and I don't like working in this style of management. You don't value experience, you like yes-men. This entire department is turning into a shower of shit. Have fun picking up the pieces. See ya!"

Going through a divorce, ex DH said "You make me feel inferior".
I said "Maybe it's because you are".

I should have said "You fucking arsehole, of course you are. What man will kick his 12 year-old son in the head because he is screaming 'leave my Mum alone'