What I wanted to say, what I actually said...

[YouthGoneMild]

As I’ve got older I’ve got better at biting my tongue, but sometimes what I wanted to say (versus what I actually said) bubbles angrily in me and today is one of those days!

So feel free to join me in letting out that you actually wanted to say and what you actually said. I guess this is lighthearted, so don’t go too deep, ok?

I’ll go first before I exploded:

What I said “I’m sure the school are trying their hardest and the staff are very stretched”

What I wanted to say “Your sense of entitlement makes me want to scream. I’m sure the teacher has better things to worry about than one sodding missing Smiggle pen and you’re a total knob for trying to speak to the Head about it!!!”’

What I said: “Yes, I guess it is our turn to go to your Father’s for Christmas as we’ve not spent it with him for 5 years”.

What I wanted to say “I’d rather eat Xmas
dinner at McDonalds than sit in the company of that drunken, arrogant snob. At least there no one will get so drunk that they wet themselves” (past Xmas nightmare visit)

Ooooh that felt good!!

Ex: Yes I'll come and give you directions to the hospital. (He knows the area)

Me: Thank you.

Me: (what I wanted to screech) So you're telling me that you're not going to even ask your work to give you an hour off - or arrange a shift change, or a bit of Holiday, so you can come to your own sons appointment with his paediatric surgeon to check him over and book him in for another operation? YOUR OWN LITTLE BOY!!... his dad!

To be honest I've stopped wasting my breath now. It's just all so sad.

@VeniceQueen2004
Your post was magnificent.

With MIL I now say nothing. nothing at all. Every word I say gets twisted back to bite me eventually, so I say nothing - very liberating.

DH is a bit pissed off as it means he now has to speak to her.

What I wanted to say 'are you actually stupid?! How on earth could it come any bigger?! It states my first Christmas on it anything over 12 months wouldn't be their first Christmas now would it?!'

One of mine were born a few days after Xmas, and has always been a big child. By their first Christmas, they categorically wouldn't fit in 'my first Christmas' clothing in size 9-12 months, so I completely understand this. I actually bemoaned it to myself (though I know most people imagine a baby's first xmas is a tiny baby not a practically one year old!), doesnt make us stupid just disappointed.

What I say - of course I'll come by and see you guys soon.

What I think - you are a few of the most immature, silly people I've ever met I'm my life. I would sooner put pins in my eyes than deal with your playground behaviour anytime soon. I know you only want me around to use me as a doormat. I'm embarrassed to be around you to be honest.

One of mine were born a few days after Xmas, and has always been a big child. By their first Christmas, they categorically wouldn't fit in 'my first Christmas' clothing in size 9-12 months, so I completely understand this. I actually bemoaned it to myself (though I know most people imagine a baby's first xmas is a tiny baby not a practically one year old!), doesnt make us stupid just disappointed.

Yep. Dd was on the 75th centile and grew out of 9-12 at about 10 months. Being slightly heroic with my extrapolation I would suggest the 60% - 75% babies would grow out of 9-12 at 11 months and 90% would grow out at 9 months.

So

0.15 1/12 + 0.15 2/12 + 0.1 * 3./12 = 0.0625.

So 1 in 16 babies will need a larger size for their first Xmas.

To my six year old who wanted to make a 'sand mermaid' out of her two year old brother but we were at home so improvised with mud

What I wanted to say

'Why the hell did the two of you flood the back porch and then make a damn mum puddle in the yard! Are you fooking kidding me, why the hell you lay your brother on the ground and cover him in mud, now all his clothes are muddy and so are both you and him! For fucks sake, mermaids aren't even real' Fuckity fuck!

What I actually said

'Grrr.... do not turn the tap on again and stop that, do not use mud on your brother even if he likes it!'

lol, blasted kids.

@Mumoftwoyoungkids, that's some epic maths . I agree through, my children have always been at least a size above the 'recommended', and that isn't unusual. It's not surprising that a child who is anywhere between 9-12 months would actually need a bigger size, but things like 'my first Christmas' clothes aren't a necessity so can't moan too much. Just surprised anyone would think us parents of bigger kids 'stupid' for having to look for bigger baby clothes!

@toomuchisneverenough

You know that the 9-12 months is just s guide, don't you? Both my boys were long and were always wearing the size up from their actual age. So I would have been that lady looking for something made a bit bigger. Did you not work out that that's what she needed and why? Or do you not believe that children can be bigger?

Blunt, when should we hold the staff Xmas party, on x date or y date.

What I said, y date works better.

What I wanted to say was, oh god, really, I hate Xmas parties. Let's cancel it.

🤣

What I said:
"Hello? Furiosa speaking. Oh hello boss. ...No, why would I be going to the pub? Oh you organised our team Xmas lunch for today but forgot to invite me? Well I've already eaten my packed lunch so I won't be coming. Join you guys for a soft drink? Ahhhh I guess I'll see how I feel once I've eaten all my food, but don't wait for me."

What I wanted to say:
"Fuck off you sanctimonious childish bitch who tried to get me fired literally a week ago for cursing you out, reported to you by one of the pathetic lickspittles for whom you're currently spending team budget on an overpriced shit meal. I would rather have bowel surgery in the woods with a stick [thank you Bill Bryson] than spend any more of the 8 hours I get paid for in your company. Also did I mention fuck off?"

She actually wanted age 2 or 18-24 months
You know clothing company's are unlikely to cater for the less than 1 in 12 that would need bigger than 12 months.

Of course I know it's a guide.

I’m really enjoying reading all of the replies, a real mix of hilarious/sad/rage.

A massive for everyone.

I just had a quick look only and several shops, Asda was the first I clicked on, sell "my first christmas" outfits in size 12-18months. Some went bigger.

So shops do cater for it. And she absolutely wasn't "stupid".

I think it's time to admit you were a little bit harsh in your thoughts towards that lady.

What I said was nothing.

What I wanted to say was "don't tell me how to do my job when you're only a trainee and I'm your senior you stupid cow!! You've only been here for 5 days and just because you're older than me doesn't mean you're more experienced. Get the fuck away from me before I sack you!

Ahhhhhh!!

I’m a lunchtime supervisor so I regularly say something different to what I actually want to say 😁

What I said: Oh yes, I'll be along to lunch in a bit when I've finished my current work task.

What I wanted to say: OMFG will you stop asking me if I'm coming to lunch 3 times within five minutes every sodding day of the week? I'm not a fucking child, I can tell what the time is, I will come to lunch when I fucking want to come to fucking lunch!

@BeyondMyWits

With MIL I now say nothing. nothing at all. Every word I say gets twisted back to bite me eventually, so I say nothing - very liberating.DH is a bit pissed off as it means he now has to speak to her

Yes me too. Landline Phone is permanently not plugged in and she can't work out how to use a mobile. Win win.

toomuchisneverenough for her first Christmas, my 9 month old would have needed 18—24 months at least (she's now 5' 10“, aged 12!)

Was carrying a child who had eaten their own poo at arms length because funnily enough I didn't want poo on myself and if he'd walked he'd have been able to smear the poo on various things. Colleague told me off.
What I said: okay
What I wanted to say: so you in your ppe would be happy to carry this child close to you but a heavily pregnant woman wearing no ppe and still has hours of her shift left should hold the child close?? And considering I was the only one who noticed when there was three other people around maybe you should all open your fucking eyes. Absolutely fucking disgusting. (I also wanted to walk out there and then, I'd only been at this job a month or two and was being bullied by my supervisor so I should have really)

What I wanted to say ‘you are so fucking wrong, you couldn’t organize a piss up in a brewery, you are only in your senior role because you sucked up so hard, and happen to be male and posh. If you shout in my face one more fucking time I’m going to speak to HR’

What I said: Okay I will reflect on that and see if I can adapt the programme.

What I actually said "yeah well have to look at the diary for dates that work for us to come up for Christmas"
What I wanted to say "you just cancelled staying over less than 2 hours before arriving and instead you thought 4 hours of seeing them after 4 months is acceptable and my kids are now all confused and hurt, why should I bother to make any plans for you to see your grandchildren when you put in zero effort, just leave them alone and we'll tell them you moved out if the solar system so you can just video call a couple of times a year like you already do!"

(Thanks that felt better than I expected!) Xx

This is a good thread.

What is said. That's nice, are you sure about this?

What I meant . You have just fucking left your wife for a gold digger who is half your age you stupid pathetic wanka.

I love threads like these.
Been having problems with my horrible sil . She is nasty and rude and makes people feel small but I smile and i'm polite as I don't want to upset my lovely brother when really i's love to tell her to do one and to never see her again. (Swear words might be used. )

The man ' serving ' me the tile shop when we were paying for a few samples ; I was only asking for a quote , not the blooming Crown Jewels and if he has this attitude to all his customers they will consider shopping at the other tile place next door but one! It may only be 100 pounds or more but it's still custom. Get another job if you hate serving that much. And breathe.
( I know retail can be horrible but I was polite and asked nicely etc. Makes me wonder why I bother)

The very first thing MIL said to me when she saw me for the first time after I gave birth to DS, with no "hello" or anything beforehand:

"So when are you giving me a granddaughter then?"

What I actually said: Haha not sure on that one.

What I wanted to say: "Fuck of you fucking bitch you have been obsessed with my womb since I married your son and it's fucking creepy."

Also MIL, this time after the birth of the much awaited DD:

"Oh you still have a bit of a belly then."

What I actually said: Erm...OK?

What I wanted to say: Fuck off you fat fucking bitch you and your fat arsed husband are the size of a house because you eat takeaway in bed every night and you're commenting on my post natal bloat?