to not want my husband to share a hotel room with MIL?

[UnderHisEyeBall]

Husband is away attending to family business next week. It is just over an hour away from where we live.

It was agreed he would stay overnight the first night as it involves an early start and a late finish. Now I have learned that MIL has booked him and her into a twin hotel room for TWO nights.

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.

I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

AIBU?

I'm confused. What is it about this that seems like a problem to you? Do you come from a family where this would be unusual?

I've shared a hotel room with my dad. It's not ideal, and less comfy than sharing with the same sex parent, but for a day or two it's really not that big a deal. My assumption in this case would be that she decided based on what would be cheapest.

It’s his mother, what’s the big deal?

You are being ridiculous.

Why is it grim?

This wouldn't bother me at all. I'm unclear exactly what your issue with it is.

I wouldn't have been bothered if DH had shared a twin room with his mother. He might have ended up bothered though, as she snored extremely loudly and kept everyone in her vicinity awake. He would have emerged the next morning after a sleepless night saying "never again" all by himself.

I think you are being unreasonable.

@WorraLiberty these sort of threads, always make me think that theres truth in belief that people marry someone like their parents.

What do you want him to do? Are you expecting your DH to ring his MIL and say "Sorry, Mum but Underhiseyeball says I'm not allowed to share a room with you because it's grim"?

I'd be more pissed off about her taking it upon herself to book an extra night away without consulting you or your DH. But you don't seem bothered by that, it's the room-sharing thing you're focused on. Why is that?

His DM, sorry.

A few weeks ago I helped my DD move into a new house, and "shock horror" we slept in the same BED for two nights !

Please relax - your husband is sharing with his own mother for heaven's sake.

Upset about what, you silly moo?

MsRomanoff I dont and would rather drive home and have an early start the next day than do so in this circumstance.

Different people think/feel differently - who knew?

Oh my god! Is he seriously suggesting he sleep in the same room as the woman who birthed him?! That's outrageous! He's soooooooo unreasonable! How dare he even suggest he shares a room with his own mother!! How can you ever trust him again?!!!

Oh no wait, hang on...... you're being ridiculous.

If he's fine with it, what's your issue? You're jealous of his mother?

Its isn't 'grim' op, however it is unusual. I don't know many grown men who would choose to share a hotel room with their mother.

If he is happy with the arrangement though that is all that matters.

I don't see the problem, can you explain OP?

Different people think/feel differently - who knew?

Shut the front door! Really? How did I get to 37 and not know that.

I asked a question, why does that bother you so much?

I do find it odd that people would never share a room with anyone else, or see room sharing with (for example) your female best friend as disrespectful.

Not sure why people cant ask questions? Of course people are different, but I surprised that people feel like this.

That ok with you?

🤣

My issue is that I don't know why OP thinks this is grim, because she didn't specify. It's clearly not something most people see as grim (points at responses) so maybe if she tells us what the problem is from her perspective she might get more useful responses.

Sorry, I agree with OP.

This is about MIL treating your DH as a child. He's her little boy and he'll be in a room with mumma tucking him in and making sure he's brushed his teeth.

In the context of a MIL who stamps over boundaries and does not respect her son as an adult, I'd not accept this either. By accepting it your DH is accepting, once again, that he's at the helm.

He's an adult man who only shares a room with his own wife. He also books his own rooms and decides himself where he is going to stay, and it's not up to Mother Dearest to make those decisions for him.

Draw those boundaries.

If this is the case, then it is up to the OP’s DH to draw those boundaries and not his equally controlling and overbearing wife.

As an adult I shared a family room with my parents once. We were away and it was much cheaper. There was absolutely nothing odd or inappropriate about it; it was merely irritating that I needed to turn my light out to go to sleep earlier than I would normally but no big deal.

As long as she doesn't give him a bath and read him a bed time story I'm not seeing what's 'grim' about it.

YABVU, OP.

I hope people are suggesting your DH reconsiders his relationship with you if you are always this controlling.

It’s HIS mum.....🙄

OP your MIL is no threat to your marriage..

What exactly are you worried about if they share a room? Come on, spell it out.

My bill and Mil shared a room at our wedding. What's the prob? I've shared with my mum in bnbs