to not want my husband to share a hotel room with MIL?

[UnderHisEyeBall]

Husband is away attending to family business next week. It is just over an hour away from where we live.

It was agreed he would stay overnight the first night as it involves an early start and a late finish. Now I have learned that MIL has booked him and her into a twin hotel room for TWO nights.

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.

I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

AIBU?

I really dislike my mil it’s no secret but even when my husband shared a hotel room with her (it was in London so ££) I really didn’t give a shit. I mean if he’d booked me into a room with her all weekend yeah I’d have had something to say about it. I think you are being weird for no reason, it’s his mother not his ex!

Yes I would share with my auntie, not my uncle, mum not dad etc. To me it's a female/male thing, nothing to do with family.

Some parents are known to have sexual relations with their children. Just saying. MIL should let her son have a good marital life; She should go and tend to her husband. That's my two pence. If the lady in question is sharing a twin room with her father, I am 'sure' the husband will be cool with it especially when her father books the hotel.

Again, why does she need to ‘tend’ to her husband? Is he ill?

You need help, OP, seek it out.

That’s his mother , you’re the one that’s grim for thinking it is wrong

She should go and tend to her husband

The 1950s are calling you back @user1480989751.

It would make me feel uncomfortable, but that's because it would be triggering; DSis and I suffered SA at the hands of our F. But I would know I was being U and I wouldn't tell them it was grim. I would just feel uncomfortable about it. But I would know it was my issue and not theirs.

Thankfully for me, my DH and MIL would never even consider sharing a room.

"So you never go on holiday with family?

What a strange conclusion to reach. Not all holidays involve beaches."

Sorry @MissBaebary I should have said 'do you never go on a beach holiday with family? Or to somewhere where you might have grandkids, parents and grandparents in a pool together?'

This is a really odd thread, are you always this controlling with your husband? He's sharing with his mum, seeing something wrong in that raises pretty worrying questions.

I can only assume she is calling you the same things ( and worse) as you say about her in your post and she would be right!

Oh my goodness, I cannot believe that there are so many here, who agree with you.
@Longfacenow
You have heard of homosexuality I assume. Sexual impropriety can happen with any two people.
@user1480989751
What you say is correct, but by that arguement, no one should sleep in the same room as anyone apart from those in a sexual relationship. Kids should stay in the same room as their parents or siblings because you know, on some occasion this has happened
@Lizzie0869
I am sorry for you have been through

Agreed, mumsnet at its worst IMO

Someone always trots this out, along with the phrase ‘pile-on’, whenever a majority of posters disagree with the OP. The OP could have very easily given more details of HOW her mother-in-law has been a negative influence, controlling etc., but she didn’t - and when she did come back to the thread, it was only to tell all the respondents how awful they were and how they should look in the mirror (what does that even mean?). She hasn’t addressed a single point put to her.

As others have said, it doesn’t matter if one, ten or 100 people would also be uncomfortable sharing a room with one of their parents. The OP’s husband isn’t, and he’s the one who’s got to do it. And if his mother has indeed got it in for the OP, a couple of nights in a twin room isn’t going to be what tips things over the edge.

Poor expression on my part! I was just meaning I would only like to share with a female relative or in law.I didn't mean it sexually.

How do you feel about seeing relatives in swimming costumes?

I would never actually be in a situation where this would happen

I think you might be the outlier here. Most people are willing sit on the beach with other family members.

Never mind though! I hear you can now rent vintage bathing machines in some UK seaside towns (maybe Hastings?), so you can still take a dip without compromising your modesty.

This is so strange. Don't you go swimming or holiday with extended family?

Sorry@MissBaebaryI should have said 'do you never go on a beach holiday with family? Or to somewhere where you might have grandkids, parents and grandparents in a pool together?

Beach holidays are boring. We had the odd day or two at the beach when my son was little.

This is so strange. Don't you go swimming or holiday with extended family?

Lord no. What a horrible thought. I wouldn't go on any type of holiday with extended family. My family are nice but I still don't want to go on holiday with them. My husband's family are awful.

Not everybody has a free and easy relationship with their own family. They will then view other people’s relationships through the prism of their own experience of what is normal.

My own family was fairly uptight with little physical contact beyond early childhood. That is my normal. DH’s family are huggers. It took me a long while to get used to this and these are lovely non-overbearing boundary stampers.

I would never have considered sharing a hotel room with my DF. It just wouldn’t have been an option which would have occurred to either of us. If DH had said his DM had booked a twin room for the two of them to stay in then I would probably have said something to him along the lines of that sounding weird to me. If his DM had been an overbearing boundary stamping troublemaker in our relationship then my wording would have been firmer.

It's up to him.