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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my husband to share a hotel room with MIL?

396 replies

UnderHisEyeBall · 17/11/2019 10:25

Husband is away attending to family business next week. It is just over an hour away from where we live.

It was agreed he would stay overnight the first night as it involves an early start and a late finish. Now I have learned that MIL has booked him and her into a twin hotel room for TWO nights.

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.

I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

AIBU?

OP posts:
ShadyFP · 17/11/2019 11:49

Sorry, don’t get it. I’ve shared twin rooms with my mum loads of times and I don’t get why it’d be different if I was male. I’ve also, shock horror, shared a twin room with my brother as adults as we’d traveled together for an event and it made more sense than paying for two rooms. Unless there is more detail, and I can’t imagine what that would be, you’re the one being unreasonable here.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 17/11/2019 11:52

FFS

Thought I had seen it all . I have now .

mrsbyers · 17/11/2019 11:53

Absolutely ridiculous to object to this , you know the more I read about MIL hating I wonder how self aware people are - they exhibit the same behaviours as the very women they dislike so much

orangeteal · 17/11/2019 11:55

It's ironic that the OP is calling the MIL overbearing.

BellatrixLestat · 17/11/2019 11:55

Not everyone has the same feelings about sharing personal space. I can remember having to share a room with my parents when visiting relatives. It made me cringe a bit then as a child. It would be even worse now.

Yes but OP's DH does not have personal space issues and is fine with it.

YABU OP. And bonkers.

LondonJax · 17/11/2019 11:55

If you think that sharing a room with his mum will mean he listens to her thoughts on your relationship, you have a bigger problem than your MIL. You have a weak husband. Most men would tell her to leave it alone from the off.

As for being grim. Well it obviously isn't as far as he's concerned or he'd have turned the offer down.

And as he's a grown up it's his decision surely. Or are you an overbearing wife who makes all his decisions for him?

BrendasUmbrella · 17/11/2019 11:58

A bit more context might be helpful. Is it just literally that you want him to spend as little time with her as possible? If he doesn't have a bad relationship with her, it's unfair to want him away from her just because you don't get on with her.

Livelovebehappy · 17/11/2019 11:58

It’s his decision to make. He’s an adult. Absolutely controlling behaviour.

Oysterbabe · 17/11/2019 11:58

You realise he used to live inside of her right? It's hardly a big deal sharing a room.

OrangeZog · 17/11/2019 11:59

Everyone is pouncing on Op but we really need more info. Does DH recognise that MIL is overbearing? My MIL can be incredibly interfering and toxic, but DH acknowledges this. If MIL made this sort of arrangement, my DH would probably go along with it for a quiet life but would privately hate every minute.

If your DH doesn't recognise that MIL is controlling/damaging your relationship, then the real issue is with him, not with you.

Maybe MIL isn’t overbearing? Perhaps she is a perfectly normal and pleasant woman.

JorisBonson · 17/11/2019 11:59

Jesus fucking Christ.

He's hardly going to be shagging his mum is he.

WorraLiberty · 17/11/2019 12:00

If you think that sharing a room with his mum will mean he listens to her thoughts on your relationship, you have a bigger problem than your MIL. You have a weak husband. Most men would tell her to leave it alone from the off.

To be fair, that was something someone else made up.

All the OP has said is she thinks it's 'grim'.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/11/2019 12:01

If she’s overbearing that’s another issue. But still nothing to do with you if he is ok to share a room with her.

amusedbush · 17/11/2019 12:01

I shared a twin room with my mum when we did an overnight away. The only problem is that she snored like a sawmill and I was ready to smother her with a pillow.

It’s really not grim.

Elle7rose · 17/11/2019 12:01

It's his Mum he's sharing a room with and you don't even have to see her! It sounds like a win-win really.

Grimbles · 17/11/2019 12:03

@gnomedeplume

Not everyone has the same feelings about sharing personal space.

For themselves sure, but why would you have an issue with 2 people who are ok with sharing a room to sleep in Confused

blackcat86 · 17/11/2019 12:05

I dont see the issue with a twin room but then a few years ago I shared a double room with my bro. His gf was unable to go (due to work) at the last minute so he asked me to go so he didnt lose all his money. Unsurprisingly his gf had no issue - well aside from having to be at work!

Butchyrestingface · 17/11/2019 12:06

I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

Better nip that in the bud right away, @UnderHisEyeBall. Today it's "room sharing". Tomorrow it will be hot, sweaty shagging and after that, two-headed babies God knows what. ¯\(ツ)/¯

WorraLiberty · 17/11/2019 12:06

I agree Grimbles

Some people are really missing that fact.

The last line of the OP...

"I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 17/11/2019 12:09

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Prokupatuscrakedatus · 17/11/2019 12:10

How is that even remotely your business?
What scenarios are playing out in your mind?
And what does this say about you?

RedskyToNight · 17/11/2019 12:17

If your concern is that MiL will use the time to poison his mind, I think it's bit misplaced. Surely if he is spending a day attending to family business there will be plenty of other opportunities for her to do this, even if they sleep in separate rooms?

NameChangeNugget · 17/11/2019 12:19

You’re being an absolute tool Biscuit

fairybeagle · 17/11/2019 12:19

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bluebeck · 17/11/2019 12:30

Oh dear, you do appear to have a lot of problems getting on with your inlaws, your own family, your employers.........