to not want my husband to share a hotel room with MIL?

[UnderHisEyeBall]

Husband is away attending to family business next week. It is just over an hour away from where we live.

It was agreed he would stay overnight the first night as it involves an early start and a late finish. Now I have learned that MIL has booked him and her into a twin hotel room for TWO nights.

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.

I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

AIBU?

Some of these more ludicrous anti-MiL posts do make me wonder whether the OPs will themselves one day turn into MiLs from hell.

You're telling your husband he can't share a hotel room with his mum, the woman who gave him life?

Jesus, that is as equally ridiculous as it is controlling and your husband has every right to be annoyed at YOU.

You're being "overbearing", perhaps you and his mum are quite similar in that respect!

The amount of women who are driven to pitch themselves against their mothers in law is appalling. I don’t understand the drive to dominate and refuse to share.
It’s as if they think that now their dh has them to answer to, their relationship with their mum is to be cast aside for the new boss.

Half the time on here, it’s a dil problem.

OP says that the MIL "has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship."
Why are people finding it hard to accept that the MIL booking a twin room for herself and her son for 2 nights will therefore understandably present as a red flag for OP? Yes, the husband is an adult, but so are all the husbands and MILs on here that you are all so willing to denigrate if you feel that they are toxic. But this OP, looking for a preventative measure against the toxic fallout that will inevitably occur when MIL starts pouring thoughts into her son's ear, you all dismiss as controlling!

I am usually on the side of DIL having experienced a genuinely toxic and insane exmil, and in her case there is a weird bed issue from childhood.

I still think you are being ridiculous. ...this is not a relevant argument , choose something more important to be your Hill to die on or you lose credibility

(Although for the posters claiming it's all fine because she birthed him? To use a great Mums net saying are you on glue? Why is that relevant ?)

@ElizaStrawberry I wonder whether the DH actually likes it. To me the DM deciding that two nights need to be booked when the destination is only an hour away seems excessive. Add to that the shared room and the whole thing feels a bit childish. Like the DH cant manage without DM diving in to sort things out.

My DB reverts to being a little boy when with DM (despite being in his 50s). DM doesnt encourage this. On the occasion that he booked a short break with his DCs plus DM (to help with DCs) she had to book herself a separate room. Otherwise DB would have had DM tucking them all into bed in a family room.

The OP has provided no examples of the in laws being overbearing, the DH is obviously perfectly happy with it. Neither does the OP say if MIL just took it upon her self to book the room or whether she spoke to the DH first. As he is travelling for family business its not unreasonable to think MIL may be doing the same and taking the opportunity to spend some time with her son.

The OP maybe felt that examples of the IL behaviour were unnecessary as the post isn't about that. And heaven help the OP if she started drip-feeding, or whatever it is you call it.

It's got fuck all to do with the OP no matter what the inlaws behaviour is like.

The point is her DH is a grown man and if he chooses to share a hotel room with his mum, that's his business.

To me the DM deciding that two nights need to be booked when the destination is only an hour away seems excessive. Add to that the shared room and the whole thing feels a bit childish. Like the DH cant manage without DM diving in to sort things out

Yes, the reasons why they need 2 nights in a hotel is not clear.

'The point is her DH is a grown man and if he chooses to share a hotel room with his mum, that's his business.'

She is allowed an opinion surely? 'grim' would be an overreaction however. Unusual and unnecessary perhaps.

I think it odd. I wouldn't want to share a room with my parents as we are adults and need our space. The only adult I would share a room with is my husband. Not anything weird I just like my privacy.

Surely OPs MIL would want her own room for this reason!??

”The woman gave birth to him, how can it be wrong to share a room with him.”

Perhaps the OP is worried she’ll stuff him back in again.

She is allowed an opinion surely? 'grim' would be an overreaction however. Unusual and unnecessary perhaps.

She told him she doesn't want him sharing a room with her.

That's not an opinion.

Surely OPs MIL would want her own room for this reason!??

I prefer money in my pocket to “privacy” personally. No way would I want to spend money on two rooms unnecessarily. In fact, I won’t go away with one of my friends any more because she won’t share a room.

I'm one of the YANBU. My son and I until quite recently used to do a lot of city break holidays on our own. He had his own room from about 15 onwards

So because you do things one way, you agree that OP is okay to tell her husband that he must not do things another way?

Surely OPs MIL would want her own room for this reason

Surely OP's MIL would want her own room because that's what you would want? Are people not allowed to want/be okay with different things to other people?

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.. Did people not read this bit?

I read it... But I don't get how it relates to him sharing a twin room with her?

OP I think this is sad. Your OH is right, you are being horrible! He has a relationship with him mum, however difficult you find her, that you will never be able to replace.

For the record, my mum and dad invited me at the last minute to share their 40th wedding anniversary trip to Paris. I went with them and I stayed in a little bed behind a curtain in their room. The curtain was made us laugh (as if they were going to get up to anything!) and we had a brilliant, memorable weekend that I remember so fondly as they are no longer alive. The idea that my husband would step in to stop us is laughable...

Your MIL might have been difficult in the past, but you are the one being difficult this time!

draughtycatflap you are hilarious!

I think you need to work at a marriage, and this includes anticipating trouble and trying to avoid it. The very fact that OP is posting this reveals that the situation has "trouble" written all over it. I think she's being cautious, and sensible, and for some reason is getting a flaming for it because people are confusing "caution" and proactive behaviour with being controlling. Or do you all know the OP from other threads and so come to this one with prejudgement? Not sure that's a word.

Perhaps the OP is worried she’ll stuff him back in again

That's the first time a reply to a post has made me laugh out loud.

Is this family event a funeral.

I'd share a twin room with my son. He would share one with me just because he's too tight to pay for his room and would rather split the cost

Of course, my motive would be to piss off my dil the same as all mils. That's all us mils have to do....plot to make our dils lives a misery (according to Mumsnet)

Perhaps the OP is worried she’ll stuff him back in again
Probably, actually. Metaphorically speaking, of course.

Perhaps the OP is worried she’ll stuff him back in again

😂😂😂

Dead. Thanks Mumsnet.