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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my husband to share a hotel room with MIL?

396 replies

UnderHisEyeBall · 17/11/2019 10:25

Husband is away attending to family business next week. It is just over an hour away from where we live.

It was agreed he would stay overnight the first night as it involves an early start and a late finish. Now I have learned that MIL has booked him and her into a twin hotel room for TWO nights.

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.

I think this sharing a room business is grim and have told him I don't want him sharing a room with her. He thinks I am being horrible.

AIBU?

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 17/11/2019 15:04

I think you are being a bit silly TBH! What on earth can happen FGS? They are hardly likely to be going on the pull together are they! Just chill and phone /text him .It will be nice for him and his mum ,and nothing to worry about for you at all!

Planetzog · 17/11/2019 15:05

You're the one with the twisted mind here! Weird.

LEELULUMPKIN · 17/11/2019 15:05

Thinking about it, I have also shared a room (twin beds) with my student Nephew whilst staying in a v.expensive city.

in OP's eye's that could be seen as virtually incestuous!

Fredastaireatemyjamsandwich · 17/11/2019 15:08

They do say that your criticisms of others are based on your own biggest faults. She’s difficult and controlling you say?

666onmyhead · 17/11/2019 15:10

Is this his step mum who's 30years younger than his dad ? If not - don't worry !

Pussinboots25 · 17/11/2019 15:10

Why does it matter to you? It’s his mum?

Snowman123 · 17/11/2019 15:17

YABU.
If he said he didn't want to share a room, he would be being entirely reasonable.

TooLateThePhalarope · 17/11/2019 15:18

I'm one of the YANBU. My son and I until quite recently used to do a lot of city break holidays on our own. He had his own room from about 15 onwards.

I wonder if some of the posters were also the type to walk around their fathers in their underwear which I most definitely think is grim. It’s not a bikini, it's underwear for those who would throw that card out there

This has always struck me as an "only on MN thing"

Drabarni · 17/11/2019 15:20

It's got absolutely nothing to do with you.
You aren't his keeper, poor man.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 17/11/2019 15:23

Sons always love their mother MORE than any wife, get used to it!

Nah. Good sons love their mums and look after them, but it's not comparable to someone you chose to love, and also have a sexual relationship with. It's entirely different. And I don't think I know any men who would agree that they love their mothers over their wives...

PlasticPatty · 17/11/2019 15:23

If she'd booked a double bed, I'd be with you, OP, but this just seems like a cost-saving plan.

BritInUS1 · 17/11/2019 15:26

YABVU it's his Mum

MrsEricBana · 17/11/2019 15:28

It would only not be ok if he didn't want to. You are being very odd about this.

pictish · 17/11/2019 15:33

I shared a twin room with my grown up son on a trip down south in the week there.
We must be grim. Ha ha!

pictish · 17/11/2019 15:35

“I have told him I don’t want him sharing a room with her.”

Did you? Did you ‘tell him’?

Lucky man.

SlightlyJaded · 17/11/2019 15:39

OP Why do we 'need to take a look in the mirror'? Confused

You posted in AIBU, most people said you are being unreasonable and instead of clarifying your feelings you've just insulted everyone who suggested you might be overbearing (which it seems FROM YOUR POST that you are). So... uhm.... what's the point of posting?

LagunaBubbles · 17/11/2019 15:39

This is about MIL treating your DH as a child. He's her little boy and he'll be in a room with mumma tucking him in and making sure he's brushed his teeth.

What a load of projected assumed shit. Bet you wouldn't be saying it if it was a daughter, not a son. Hmm

floraloctopus · 17/11/2019 15:41

He's an adult who can make his own mind up so YABU.

Ginger1982 · 17/11/2019 15:41

What do you think is going to happen??

WorraLiberty · 17/11/2019 15:45

Yes, still waiting for the OP to explain what she means by 'grim', 5 hours after she decided to start the thread.

ElizaStrawberry · 17/11/2019 15:45

She has always been overbearing, has no boundaries and has caused significant problems (along with FIL) over the course of our relationship.. Did people not read this bit?

pictish · 17/11/2019 15:45

“This is about MIL treating your DH as a child. He's her little boy and he'll be in a room with mumma tucking him in and making sure he's brushed his teeth.”

Agree that this is absolute fantasy...but even if, by some weird stretch, it was a reality...so what?

So what if his mum wants to spend some quality time with her son looking after him? So what if he enjoys being fussed over...what of it?

My mum ‘mummed’ me all the time. I loved it! Or is that ok because I’m not a man?

StroppyWoman · 17/11/2019 15:47

OP, you're totally out of order here

Petrichor11 · 17/11/2019 15:50

YABU

How on earth does it affect you? If they’re both comfortable with it then let them get on with it, it’s nothing sordid or whatever you’re implying.

(Nope never walked round in either of my parents homes in my underwear, not since early childhood anyway, not sure what that’s got to do with anything)

Littletabbyocelot · 17/11/2019 15:51

Is this a test to see if mumsnet really is anti mil in all circumstances? Did we pass?