Is DD being a spoilt brat?

[Inlawsoutlaws]

Myself and DH are in a lucky position where we can afford to buy somewhere for our grown up DCs (to live together). They are late twenties living in a very expensive European city. One has a short term boyfriend and the other is single.

DH and I want to buy a large house for them which would effectively use up our spare cash and be their inheritance. House in question is a bit tired and would require work. DCs are grateful but have said they don’t have the time or resources to manage house and garden and are concerned about the cost. They also see it as a short term arrangement and would rather buy a flat, which I am very against for various reasons (primarily do not see it as a good investment).

They are in such a fortunate position but can’t seem to see it! Are they being spoilt? We lock horns all the time about their reasoning but I want to get outside opinions

An £100k mortgage each on a home they have no say in, is quite an ask.

I certainly wouldn't want to be paying a mortgage on a house I didn't choose, requiring work we would have to pay for (and agree with a sibling on what work to do, at what cost/finish/colour/style). What would happen if a sibling wanted to move away and buy elsewhere? Having a mortgage already might affect what they can do independently and they can't just sell up unlike if it was their own home, they're tied in indefinitely.

Personally, I'd give them 50% each and put it towards a home of their individual choosing.

They are realistic!
Do you really think they are going to live together forever? A house is A LOT of work.
Buy them two flats or give them the cash foe the deposits.

Your children are very sensible. Buy them a flat each without a mortgage.

OK, let me just get this right OP - You want to buy this house with your DD's not for them. They have to get a £100k mortgage each and presumably pay for renovations as well as the upheaval and stress which comes with that, or are you paying for and overseeing renovations? And you think that they are being spoiled brats, is that right?

Is this a reverse? Are you one of the children? How can anyone think this is reasonable and they’re being selfish to say no?

They’re not spoilt, you’re being U.

If you want to make a property investment, and maximise your profit, do that.

If you want to give your DC money towards getting a property, do that.

If you want to do both, you will have to compromise.

It's a terrible idea OP.

You want them to take out 100k mortgage each to live in a house which you choose but expect them to maintain?

Nah.

It’s not selfish really if they have to put time and money into it and maybe aren’t too enthusiastic. At least they told you before you went and bought it.

Also will your children always want to live together?

I'm assuming this a reverse? I can't see how anyone would think this was a good idea. It doesn't even make any sense

Why don’t you buy the house, do it up and rent it out? If that’s what you want

So you want to control:
where they live
who they love with
what they do in their spare time (doing up the house will tale all of that)
What they spend their money on (doing up their house)
And for them to be in 100k debt for the privilege.

And it’s a gift?!

I’m surprised they didn’t laugh in your face.

Er, no. My mortgage isn't that much more than that on the house my husband and I bought together, entirely independently, at 28/29. As others have said, invest in a property you want or give your DCs some money. Don't do both.

Siblings co-owning is a recipe for disaster.
A colleague bought a house for his two sons, the inevitable happened and one moved his partner in, other son moved out and back in with his parents!
A former partner of DS was bought a property jointly with her sister by her parents, sister moved in boyfriend, so other girl moves in with DS (although the relationship wasn't good) then he had problems getting her to move out when the relationship went sour, she ended up back home with her parents.

OP be aware your DCs are unlikely to be single for ever and this is when problems start unless you can provide them with two separate residences /deposit on two seperate homes, don't consider it.
(I agree with your DD that a flat would be more practical at that age)

I think OP is trying to create some sort of convent. The sisters of perpetual capital accumulation.

Tying up her dds' (or is it dd and ds but somehow only dd is 'being spoilt'?) time and money in house renovations and maintenance, thus preventing them from meeting or setting up home with anyone else.

This is an awful idea. By my mid twenties I have a child, long term partner and own my own home. Even if they're incredibly career focussed, I doubt they want to live together for the next 5 years, nevermind more than that.

I'd gift them money for a deposit for their own place. Let them choose where they want to live, etc.

They're adults. I can't imagine my reaction if my parents picked a house for me and told me to share it, but I'd decline the offer for sure. Too many rules attached. Isn't practical long term. Restricts me from opportunities (moving with work, overseas work, etc).

@Mitzi the house I have suggested would involve them both having to get small mortgages (100k or so each)

Started this thread thinking it might be a reverse, after this update I'm sure it is

Wow

I want to buy you a place, it'll only cost you £100K each and you have to live together, and you have to do it up, and it's a place I like, not what you want. Aren't I generous?

I thought reverse after the first post.

A gift with reservations is not a gift!

Inlawsoutlaws it's completely clear that everyone thinks you're being unreasonable.

Are you going to respond to the general consensus?

Is this a reverse or a windup, or can you see that your idea is terrible and your kids are right? If you genuinely want to give your children a leg up just give them the £ as a deposit on a flat each.

£100k is not a small mortgage

So you want them to pay towards something they don't really want?

I'm in my 30's and I really wouldn't want a house I'd have to do up.

A flat is a much more sensible option.

Sounds to me like Op has been trawling Rightmove or similar and found herself a dream 'project' house, which is £200k over her budget...

Either YABU or this is a reverse.

Is it your investment or their inheritance?

2 very different things. If it is truly their inheritance then give them the cash to make their own decisions. If it is an investment then invest yourself and do not involve them.