How dare they?

[astralweaks]

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/16/a-letter-to-our-neighbours-with-a-baby

The above is in today’s Guardian. Thoughts?
I think the author and his partner have shown remarkable restraint and been far too polite.

probably because the piece says "my wife and I".

I know many couples who use “my wife and I” who are of the same sex.

It's not like babies are a lifestyle choice.

Really?

When I was younger and child free, I lived in a flat surrounded by families. I really couldn’t get annoyed about the noise. It’s part of life. I remember every Friday night our neighbor would come back from the pub and do an impressively long piss that we could hear. I think if you’re the sort of person bothered by noise, you consider that with where you live. Noise doesn’t bother me but I worry about my kids being noisy, so we moved to a detached house. It’s less stressful for me not to worry about it. I understand not everyone has that luxury though.

if you’re the sort of person bothered by noise, you consider that with where you live.

People keep saying this, but not everyone can afford to buy/rent a detached house.

@ScreamingCosArgosHaveNoRavens
How can they know when the baby would stop crying? You can't programme a baby to stop at 7 months. Usually they cry less, but some dint sleep through and cry for a really long time. They get ill. They fall over For like most of their childhood there are ups and downs. Desert island is the place to go if one doesn't want to hear any noise at all.

People on this thread are talking as if a detached house is a lifestyle choice. Like where should I move into, a terraced house or a detached house?
Back in the real world the choice is often a flat or a terraced house.

Indeed, EsselGruntFuttock, but it's not an unreasonable assumption, given sheer volume of heterosexual married people versus gay married couples that the author might be a man.

How can they know when the baby would stop crying? You can't programme a baby to stop at 7 months

You said the baby needs to be in the same room as the parents for six months to minimise the risk of sudden death.

So after six months, they can move the baby to whichever room is furthest from the party walls.

2 points spring to mind immediately
1 How do the neighbours know that uou are being disturbed
2 If you don't like neighbourly noise then consider moving to a detatched property.

"If you don't like neighbourly noise then consider moving to a detatched property."

yes, I can afford that from my 1 bed flat with kitchen/lounge.

Can tell the author doesnt have kids. Stupid selfish twat.

Can we please stop with this kind of contrived shite please. Not having kids doesn’t make you thick as shit like the author of that article. It doesn’t take squeezing a melon out of my fantoosh to give me empathy to a new family so less of of the child free bashing please.

While I don’t think I the author couple should pay to combat someone else’s noise (I.e them paying to soundproof the wall or move) they should at least talk to the family, move bedrooms for a few months until the baby is moved, earplugs etc. Yes it’s a pain in the arse living next to a baby, and no one cares about you creating new life when it’s 3am and all you want to do is sleep, but it’s temporary and it’s expected when you live in any attached property. Author is pathetic.

@MumW sure moved to a detached property funded by that magic money tree

Whose fault is it if housing is overpriced and not built for purpose?

Modern housing is built for purpose. Party walls have to be tested for sound or built in accordance with robust details.

It's some older housing that has poor sound resistance.

Laughing at the person who thinks terraced walls aren't thin.

That would be me @pugparty. I live in a terraced house and also grew up in one. Never ever heard noise from any of the neighbours apart from occasional DIY. The point I was making (from experience just as valid as yours) is that not all terraced walls are paper-thin, so it’s not unreasonable for the couple with the baby to be unaware that the noise carries.

Also, we could have written a similar post about the working couple next door who left the house around 5am and returned after 6pm leaving a dog which barked consistently whilst it was alone.
We did ask if they knew how upset fucking noisy their dog was during the day but they didn't/couldn't do anything.
We now live in a detatched house.

I think it's the exact opposite to be honest, older houses tend to carry less sound than cardboard like new builds.

So after six months, they can move the baby to whichever room is furthest from the party walls
Or the author can remove himself to another room, seeing how another baby is on the way. Or get earplugs as many people suggested.
I'd really understand frustration if he was living next to students partying all week, but children making noise is not something you can avoid.

If they live in a terraced house then by moving bedrooms most likely will mean they are next to someone else.

Modern housingisbuilt for purpose. Party walls have to be tested for sound or built in accordance with robust details

True but having lived in a new build where i could hear everything from next door i can tell you some builders will make houses pass tests whether they should have or not.

Or the author can remove himself to another room, seeing how another baby is on the way.

As you said yourself, there might only be one double room in the property. If the houses have two double rooms, why should the author be the one to move when he is not the one creating the noise? If you're suggesting he moves out to sleep in a single room; again, why should the couple not making the noise be the ones who have to sleep separately? The parents could take it in turns to sleep in a single room alongside the cot.

Or get earplugs as many people suggested.

Not a long-term solution. Aside from the discomfort, they're a risk if there's a fire in the house as the smoke alarm might not wake you.

You only need to read most of AIBU to realise we DO have a child worshipping culture in this country.

If they live in a terraced house then by moving bedrooms most likely will mean they are next to someone else.

Which goes to show that they are unreasonably complaining about normal human life noises. Or the build-quality isn't good enough. What it doesn't show is that their neighbours are doing anything wrong.

I dont personally think we have a "child worshipping" culture but i think what we so have is much better than a children should be seen and not heard approach.

Babies cry. There is shite all anybody can do about it. Most parents will be doing everything in their power to stop it.

talk about passive aggressive article.
what does he suggest the parents do?

I read it earlier and I was shocked. How can he possibly write such a pompous and self-righteous complaint when he hasn’t even mentioned to the parents that the noise is disturbing him and given them the chance to rectify it? What a total arse.