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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

is having an affair always wrong

102 replies

mad4simon · 19/08/2007 22:39

i'm single , he's the one whose married !

OP posts:
jules99 · 19/08/2007 23:22

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jules99 · 19/08/2007 23:24

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SpeccieSeccie · 19/08/2007 23:24

"he hasn't promised me anything - so i guess i am just being used. Tha should make most people on this thread happy."

That doesn't make me happy, that makes me depressed. For you and for his wife and for him too. You are obviously uneasy about this - follow your instincts: get away from him.

Original poster
mad4simon · 19/08/2007 23:24

i never said it was ok because his children are in their teens. Someone just asked if he had kids. Have you never done anything you have regretted?

OP posts:
littlelapin · 19/08/2007 23:25

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SpeccieSeccie · 19/08/2007 23:26

Er, why is 'regret' coming up? If you think you'll regret it the quit now!!!

jules99 · 19/08/2007 23:26

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alucard · 19/08/2007 23:27

Not happy that shitbag is using you. Happy that you have realised it. I hope you can move on and have a nice relationship with someone who isn't a knob.

Dabbles · 19/08/2007 23:28

its not wrong for you, you are single you dont owe anyone anything...

but for him it is.

you have to think a) if he does this to his wife he will do it to you

b) do u really want to be with someone who disrespects his wife so much?

c) if karma is true, then u r gonna be fucked...

littlelapin · 19/08/2007 23:30

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gibberish · 19/08/2007 23:31

If you regret it, you know it has been a wrong decision.

Even if you don't regret it, it is still a wrong decision - what goes around, comes around. He is not free to be seeing someone else, whatever reasons he gives. He needs to end it with his partner before he starts another relationship. You know he is not free. You wouldn't be asking if it is wrong if you didn't in your heart know it is.

Finish it now, however difficult it may be. It will save you being even more hurt further down the line.

Dabbles · 19/08/2007 23:36

TROLL or BORED POSTER!!! t

y for link to other post by this poster about her shagging someone else whilst being with her last partner... (or maybe she is just a slut? )

Lorayn · 19/08/2007 23:45

"hes the one cheating on his wife, i don't even know the woman"
what a fucking joke, people on here have been bloody nice to you so far, well, I won't be (pregnant and hormonal, and having been cheated on in the past) You're bang out of order, and the second you found out he had someone else you should have ran a mile, any kind of woman worth her salt would do, and tbh, I hope his wife never finds out, he decides you're nothing but a 'bit on the side' and that his marriage is more important and his INNOCENT wife and children get their husband/father to themselves, but if she did find out and kicked seven bells of crap out of you, well, I'm not one to condone violence, but I'd probably agree you bought it on yourself and maybe even that you deserved it.

EricL · 20/08/2007 09:18

What is the point of having an affair if you are doing guilt? It doesn't work like that.

You either go for it and and have fun at the expense of others - or you don't. The majority of people will not get involved in something like this because they wouldn't be comfortable with it at all.

Sounds like you are thinking of lots of reasons why you shouldn't be doing it - so why are you? You don't sound like the kind of single-minded, selfish, guilt-free person who should be having an affair.

TheWoman · 20/08/2007 09:24

I expect his wife doesn't understand him, and he's never met anyone quite like mad4?

I am surprised that any woman nowadays is prepared to be cast in the role of mistress.

It's such a no-win situation really.

And they really need to prepare for karma to even things up at some point in the future.

MellowMa · 20/08/2007 09:31

Message withdrawn

Lorayn · 20/08/2007 09:35

hahaha, I love the fact that I just put my hand over my mouth and said what I assumed it translated to, AND it sounded just like that!!! You have a way with letters, lol.

MellowMa · 20/08/2007 09:36

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MellowMa · 20/08/2007 09:37

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MellowMa · 20/08/2007 09:38

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Lorayn · 20/08/2007 09:38

hahaha, my kids think I'm mad, watching mum sat in her pj's putting her hand over her mouth, uttering something inaudible and then crying with laughter

Twinkles · 20/08/2007 09:38

Whether you know her or not, or if hes the one doing the cheating really doesnt matter.
You know that he is MARRIED Thats enough. That means hes out of bounds.

Don't be the woman that other women hate the most. Don't be the Homebreaker.

TheWoman · 20/08/2007 09:40

MM, your posts are getting slightly less subtle as time goes on!

elasticbandstand · 20/08/2007 09:42

mad

looks like you will hve to look elsewhere for ths type of discussion.

HappyDaddy · 20/08/2007 09:42

The simple way to get an answer is "how would I feel if MY husband / wife was screwing someone else?".

You know it's wrong, whichever one is married. That's why it's called Cheating.

You know what to do, there must be plenty of single men who will treat you far better than a married one.