To do this when we go out for dinner

[octoberstorms]

Having a Christmas meal out with some really good friends. (We are all aged 20-22) Slightly complicated as we can only go to one location nearby a friends house as she's just had a baby and can't go far.

I have an eating disorder and am really really restricted on what I can eat because of it (currently in therapy) am also a vegetarian. Restaurant is a steakhouse which has no vegan options and only veggie options involve halloumi (which I hate!) and I don't like any of the accompanying foods.

I've mentioned this to my friends but as one person can only do this location due to baby they've said we can't go anywhere else unfortunately.

It's an early dinner due to the baby at 5pm so AIBU to go along and have a glass of wine/maybe a dessert then have something to eat when I get home or will I look silly?

I'd do that, definitely.

Or a side of chips.

No that's fine.

You've compromised so you can still go. There might be a starter you can have as well.

Sounds like a good plan. You could also ring the restaurant and ask if they can do something different for you.

Yes do that. I can’t see a problem with it.
Hope your therapy is helping.

You could have 2 or 3 side dishes

I don't see a problem with that. I was braced for you to suggest taking along your own meal(!) but your actual plan isn't unusual. I've been on meals where people have done similar for various reasons.

@marvellousnightforamooncup I don't eat chips. (They know that)

@Ponoka7 the only veggie starter is halloumi annoyingly.

@Selfsettlingat3 I did email them actually as previous restaurants have kindly done this for me but unfortunately they said they have a set menu.

@Ohyesiam Thank you! I'm getting there slowly 

@onanothertrain Sides are all things I don't like (chips/potatoes/mac n cheese)

I would do that, and maybe order a side dish, even if I only nibbled a bit at it.

It sounds fine have soup/starter and pudding if you can manage and enjoy the company hopefully by next year the friend will be confident enough to leave the baby to go further afield.

Yes it would be fine

Salad?

@Mrsjayy hopefully! Baby is 3 months or so now and it's her first meal out with us so really exciting to see her

I just know they will all question me about not eating even though I've explained already and I don't want to feel awkward😅

@onanothertrain no salads- it's either steaks/fish.

Yep, side salad and a glass of wine is fine. Make sure they don’t split the bill equally though!

However, are you okay with your eating disorder being ‘outed’ to your friends?

If they are good friends they will understand and not make you feel uncomfortable.

Slighted amused by the mum of the PFB. My sister got in a car for 3 hours to show off her first baby.

Off topic but it sounds a pretty grim place! Hope you get better soon OP...been in your shoes and it’s horrible

Can you message them before you go out and remind them you are not having much because....and ho

there will be no awkwardness but theyare your friends they understand.

I don’t get why there’s nowhere else you can all go? Are you very rural and this is the only restaurant for miles?

@BitchyArriver They all know as we have a group chat and I explained it when we were discussing where to go for the meal. They all seemed happy for me to not like anything which was a bit annoying but hey ho.😂😩

Definitely won't split the bill, we all always pay for our own.

@BitchyArriver She has left the baby before but as it's dinner time she has a routine hence why we are eating early and close by her house so she can get back to put baby to bed.

Do they not do sandwiches/bread/baguettes?

It really doesn't sound worth the bother tbh. You sound hard to please and your friends are being a bit rigid. Organise something else but don't put yourself and everyone through this.

Ok I’d not be eating anywhere that doesn’t have a salad on the menu.

Not that I’d choose salad you understand

@BuffaloCauliflower This is the only 'nice' restaurant in the town we can go to due to friend with baby. If we went a town over (20min Drive) there are loads that are amazing and I can eat at but unfortunately friend can only attend if it's the one close to her house.

@Mrsjayy I will mention it but I don't want to make a big deal to be honest. It's just a shame as eating out is a treat and it would be nice to enjoy a meal with everyone.

@MrsGrindah Thank you! So sorry you've known similar! It's a pretty small/expensive/independent restaurant so not many choices on menu.

@fedup21 nope, really small menu.

@MissLadyM It would be worse not to go so I'm still going. I'm not actually hard to please I eat plenty of different foods just not steak or fish or halloumi 😅