To do this when we go out for dinner

[octoberstorms]

Having a Christmas meal out with some really good friends. (We are all aged 20-22) Slightly complicated as we can only go to one location nearby a friends house as she's just had a baby and can't go far.

I have an eating disorder and am really really restricted on what I can eat because of it (currently in therapy) am also a vegetarian. Restaurant is a steakhouse which has no vegan options and only veggie options involve halloumi (which I hate!) and I don't like any of the accompanying foods.

I've mentioned this to my friends but as one person can only do this location due to baby they've said we can't go anywhere else unfortunately.

It's an early dinner due to the baby at 5pm so AIBU to go along and have a glass of wine/maybe a dessert then have something to eat when I get home or will I look silly?

I really feel for you as I'm very similar. I would do as you suggested.

I'm not actually hard to please I eat plenty of different foods just not steak or fish or halloumi

Or chips or potatoes or Macaroni cheese.

Why can the lady with the baby not go anywhere other than that one restaurant? Can someone drive them?

I really want to post the menu on here so you guys can see what I mean by small menu but I can't screenshot as button broken and it won't let me download a pic of the menu. 😩

Don't want to post direct link to site as outing.

@MrsGrindah
"Off topic but it sounds a pretty grim place"

Not really it's a set cuisine, it doesn't mean it isn't good quality.

@BitchyArriver, it isn't pfb to not want to be too far away from a three month old. Women shouldn't be put down for their natural instincts with their babies. Whether that's being OK to leave them or not. Getting into a car doesn't really compare, but you should be aware that your at risk of hemorrhaging a few days after birth.

@fedup21 I eat cheese- I just don't like halloumi or macaroni cheese. I've never liked potatoes unless they're sweet ones.

She can drive but won't go anywhere else.

it isn't pfb to not want to be too far away from a three month old. Women shouldn't be put down for their natural instincts with their babies. Whether that's being OK to leave them or not. Getting into a car doesn't really compare, but you should be aware that your at risk of hemorrhaging a few days after birth.

I thought the baby was coming to the meal though!?

@Ponoka7 It's not a few days after birth though? Baby is over 3 months old. Her partner is perfectly capable of looking after baby but she doesn't want to leave long.

It's also definitely good quality food- reviews are good and quite expensive. It's just good quality meat and fish which is annoying

@fedup21 no baby is not coming to meal, we are happy to have baby there but she wants to be without the baby for the occasion.

Is there no side dish you could manage? Sounds tricky OP I would just go with whatever makes the meal most enjoyable for you. If you were my friend I'd rather you were there having a nice time and I got to enjoy your company. What you did or didn't choose to eat wouldn't bother me at all.

I don't drive so actually have to get the train to the town we are going to which takes around 20-30mins. My friend who lives near is taking the other girls in her car so it's easiest for me to make my own way as I'm close to the station.

Just wine is wine imo.

Or is it possible to contact the restaurant in advance and see if they can prepare you something?

It's way too early for dinner anyway.

@drivingtofrance I've already mentioned that I contacted the restaurant to no avail.

It is early for dinner but unfortunately it's the only time friend with baby could do.

I've mentioned this to my friends but as one person can only do this location due to baby they've said we can't go anywhere else unfortunately.

So there is actually no reason why the person with the baby has to go to this particular restaurant?! They can drive, it’s not like they’ve just given birth and they’re taking their baby with them so it’s not like they have to be back to breastfeed at a moment’s notice?!

I would be pissed off that these people are allowing her to choose only one restaurant because she’s had a baby (which isn’t actually restricting anything she does) when that restaurant choice means there’s actually nothing on the menu you can eat!! Do they not want you to come?!

BitchyArriver each to there own but unless she had a lie flat car seat that is a quiet a risk she took with her baby.

octoberstorms, not the point of your thread but have you tried 'snipping tool'? It's really easy to get onto your toolbar and you can save the 'snip' and upload it here as you would any other picture.

I use it LOTS!

Back to the point of your thread, if you're meeting/eating early then just have your dinner afterwards, somewhere else, or pick something up that's delicious and have it at home? You could book that meal at any restaurant 'to go', I think?

Is it definitely only to do with the menu? Or is it to do with your eating disorder? I only ask because I have a friend that cannot order anything wherever we go.

In group situations, we choose a restaurant that suits everyone else, excises even if she chose the restaurant, she would find a reason not to eat.

Baby is 3 months or so now and it's her first meal out with us so really exciting to see her smile

Apologies-I was confused by the ‘her’ pronouns! I thought the baby was coming.

*ffs because, not excises

I've gone out for a meal before and not liked anything on the menu, so I had a 3 courses of desserts served with everyones starters and main courses. It was one of the best meals i've ever had and made my friends green with envy lol. Enjoy the time spent with your friends and order what you want.

YANBU and I hope you have a nice evening.

Your friends are being a bit unreasonable though, especially the one with the baby. Her baby's routine shouldn't trump your need to get something you can actually eat in a restaurant. To be honest I would just leave them all to it but you're obviously nicer than me!

not the point of your thread but have you tried 'snipping tool'? It's really easy to get onto your toolbar and you can save the 'snip' and upload it here as you would any other picture

I use it loads on my laptop, but didn’t know you could get it on your phone-can you?!

@fedup21 It is really upsetting really as I've been such good friends to them all but they've never been too understanding of my ED/MH issues unfortunately.

The only way friend with baby has said she can go is if it's in this specific town at that time and the only restaurant in that town everyone wants to go to is this one.

There's actually a lovely Italian restaurant there too which has something everyone will eat but they don't want to go there.

She is not bringing baby btw.

The friend with the baby sounds not only controlling but frankly, pathetic!!

only restaurant in that town everyone wants to go to is this one.

But you don’t want to go there, so it’s not ‘everyone’, is it? How many are going?

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe thanks for the tip!

I think I'll just have a drink there and at a stretch a dessert then cook up something at home when I'm back as it's much easier (and cheaper!)😂