Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

When dd1 was a baby I rang the day before to cancel the appointment for her jabs. She was in hospital undergoing surgery at the time (she had just been taken into theatre when I realised the appt was the following day) & the consultsnt had said to delay the jabs for approx 2 weeks. Having explained this, the receptionist still chose to lecture me on how babies should not miss their injections. I curtly replied that I would take the paediatric consultant's advice rather than a receptionists & hung up, then promptly burst into tears. Thankfully dd1 came through the operation fine & I re-booked her jabs as soon as she'd had the all clear.

I work in a surgery we dont say anything just ok no problem can we rebook it's none of our business the only time we mention is if they have missed a few appointments but just in a way to say be careful as the surgery can remove you from the list if you miss a certain number of appointments in a time frame.

It was a human mistake it happens!
It was a mistake that cost the nhs, not OP. People in this country take not paying for granted and O get would manage their diaries much better if they did.

She was right to make a point, but should have moved on once you apologised. I wouldn't say she was rude though, sadly it takes this level of insistence for many people to get the point.

She probably wasn't right to lay it on so thick but then people missing appointments is the reason why we now can't book in advance at my surgery.

All appointments are released at 8am, for that day only, because so many were being forgotten, missed whatever.

I suppose they think if you only make it that day then you'll turn up but what about those of us who work? Presumably I've got to take a day off work everytime I need an appointment a) to spend an hour trying to get through and then b) because they might say my appointment is in 10 minutes time.

It's ridiculous. Charge people who miss appointments, don't punish all of us.

She shouldn’t have been rude but she was right. Perhaps you wouldn’t have forgotten if you’d had to pay?

Probably going to get shot down....

But....I'm a Gp receptionist (hides) and some days we can get up to 12 missed appointments! Each person is very sorry, was an accident, didn't mean to, etc but that's 12 appointments that have been wasted, could be used for someone else and now have to find 12 more appointments to re-book...to then get multiple calls a day of people going mental as they have to wait a week for an appointment and, and when you've had so much crap all day from people yelling at you, for something that is completely out of our control, it can get us down.
I don't condone being rude, a Rottweiler, thinking I'm a doctor blah blah BUT is is so frustrating that so many people miss appointments...over the course of a 6 day week, running two practices we can easily hit 100 missed appointments.....in a time when medical appointments are becoming rare and often the cause of many people's upset and frustration.
I guess in this occasion accidents happen, but it's also a lesson well learned.

Yanbu she was rude. Tbh if everyone turned up they'd never get through all the appointments.

Chin up, you aren't perfect but neither is she or the perfect Alices laying it on thick in this thread. We all make mistakes, most people have forgotten an appointment of some type I'm sure

YANBU.

The first (and only) time I missed an appointment was for my kids jabs. Lack of sleep and PND probably helped create a situation where it was much more likely. Being laid into by the doctors’ office would not have made it any less likely that I’d miss one in the future and would have lowered trust and made me more reluctant to visit when I or my kids needed them.

The NHS is under stress for lots of reasons, including missed appointments. But laying into a patient is u professional and won’t help.

Nope that was rediculously rude and id be making a complaint. Everyone makes mistakes, you apologised repeatedly. She was extremely unprofessional

I don't condone being rude, a Rottweiler, thinking I'm a doctor blah blah BUT is is so frustrating that so many people miss appointments...over the course of a 6 day week, running two practices we can easily hit 100 missed appointments.....in a time when medical appointments are becoming rare and often the cause of many people's upset and frustration.

Most people's jobs are frustrating in some way. Being rude and condescending like in the OP isn't going to change that.

The real issue is that the NHS is over stretched not that someone forgets to go for a vaccination.

Hmm, I would be annoyed but equally I guess it’s very frustrating, must happen an awful lot and a lot of wasted time. However, she shouldn’t make you feel like shit imo.

This doesn't surprise me in the slightest. The receptionists at my GP surgery are rude and high-handed in the way they deal with patients. I dread having to speak to them. The surgery's computer system should link up accounts for minors with that of their responsible adult, then this wouldn't have happened. You can't be the only one to overlook this.

I'd complain - I work for the NHS too, and would never speak to a polite patient like that. I have been known to get a bit short with patients who give me an ear full of abuse though - that happens too, maybe she got one just before you, although still no excuse.

... and I just have to add, we DO pay for the NHS. A significant chunk of everyone's NI / income tax funds the NHS. It's free at the point of need, but it's not free. The missed appointment has been paid for.

Same thing happened to me a few weeks ago. I cried afterwards As I was spoken to very rudely and complained to the dr. The dr said that their under pressure from above to ensure that appointments are attended. I explained I agree that I am at fault but could have been spoken to a bit nicer.

YANBU she was unnecessarily rude. No doubt she would not have spoken to a man in the same way. Shame you apologised really.

Forgetting an appointment is no excuse and I agree that you should have gotten a telling off. I use Google Calendar etc to ensure we keep track of ours in the family. It seems that people are so used to the free NHS they take it for advantage - bet you wouldn’t have forgotten if it was a prepaid private appointment with a full cancellation fee.

@ Anonanonanonanonanonanonanon - many people don’t pay for the NHS. eg those on benefits or who earn below the tax threshold and / or have kids who are subsidised by other people’s taxes.

... and I just have to add, we DO pay for the NHS. A significant chunk of everyone's NI / income tax funds the NHS. It's free at the point of need, but it's not free. The missed appointment has been paid for.

Well, assuming the person pays NI but then there's another appointment to also be paid for. If the NHS had to provide double the appointments for every patient (so 1 they miss and then the replacement 1) it would implode.

Op the danger of relying on a reminder text message is what happens if you double book yourself? If you've no record of appointments until the reminder text arrives you might have made an appointment to be elsewhere at that time.

It seems that people are so used to the free NHS they take it for advantage - bet you wouldn’t have forgotten if it was a prepaid private appointment with a full cancellation fee

THE NHS IS NOT FREE!

No you are probably right that the OP wouldn't have forgotten a private appointment - because they would have reminded her about it. I have a private dentist and I receive texts for my appointments and emails for my son's as they don't have a mobile no for him. So the scenario the OP had wouldn't have happened, because she would have received a reminder. When I book a sports massage they send me an email to remind me, with a reminder of their cancellation policy. Sames goes for the hairdresser.

It's your responsibility to remember your own appointments. You need to get more organised. Buy a diary and use it or put all appointments in your phone calendar. As your DC gets older, it will be more difficult to keep track if you don't have a system.

She was unprofessional. I run a clinic and it's annoying when people DNA (Did Not Attend) their appointments, but you get to know who the serial DNAers are and it doesn't sound like you fall into that camp. Like a PP mentioned upthread, I use the time to catch up on my clinic if it's running late, or to do some of the endless admin that I'd otherwise have to stay late and do that evening.
It does cost the NHS money, but the nature of running a public service is that the public are fallible and sometimes genuine mistakes are made. It's not the end of the world, OP - don't be hard on yourself

I understand her frustration but given that you apologised I think it was wrong of her to lay into you in the way she did.

The last thing that a doctors surgery should be doing is alienating patients and making them feel belittled and unwelcome, especially when children are involved. She had no idea what your home situation was - what if you were a vulnerable person, or in a abusive relationship with someone who stopped you from going to the appointment? It's sad but it does happen.

What if you were mentally ill and hadn't turned up because you weren't coping? This would hardly help and it would have been your child who suffered.

Also I can't help but think that people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Myself and other relatives have been 'lost' in the NHS system several times due to administrative errors including the time I wasn't referred for mental health services when I should have been and a relative who missed urgent blood tests because she wasn't informed they were needed. So it works both ways frankly.

Complain there no need to be rude and lecture accidents happen which this clearly was and she could tell you have never missed one before .

I can honestly say I have come across some of the rudest staff in the NHS I have ever met.

Being overworked under pressure and debatable pay is not exclusive to NHS workers but some think it a green card to treat people how they want because we should be greatful there is no need .

YANBU- it was a genuine mistake. She could've said once at most that you should try not to miss appointments, then accepted your apology.

Please try not to let it set you back xxxx Please get all the treatment you can for your mental health. If you've tried a medication and it hasn't worked well, go back so they can try another one or up the dose. This isn't as good as it can be for now. Your mental health can be better than this, and will be when they hit on a med and/or therapy that works. Keep going back xxx