Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

From her posts here she comes across as someone who is conscientious about medical appointments. She could easily have canceled the non-medical thing she had arranged, if they had sent a reminder.

It absolutely is efficient to send reminders. They can be automated - no receptionist would get blisters on her thumbs sending hundreds of texts a week.
bmjopen.bmj.com/content/6/10/e012116
Conclusions: Electronic text notifications improve attendance and reduce no shows across healthcare settings. Sending multiple notifications could improve attendance further

My DD had a series of hospital (non urgent) apts. They were made 6-8 weeks in advance and I got no say in time/day which of course I understand. However there were 2 or 3 that nearer the time I realised we couldnt make. I called to change them and left a message saying we needed to change it (well in advance, not the day before) The next time we went I got an earful for not attending. I explained I had called and they said maybe I didn't have the correct number (I checked and I had)
On the next time I needed to rearrange I spoke to a receptionist and asked them to make a note of it after previous issue. Still got told off for a no show. Also tried to cancel online.again got noted as a missed apt.

I dont want to be included in their "missed stats/you cost the NHS money" when i have made every effort to let them know!

From her posts here she comes across as someone who is conscientious about medical appointments. She could easily have canceled the non-medical thing she had arranged, if they had sent a reminder.

But her double booking may well have been a hospital appointment, or a health visitor appointment, or a physio appointment. It might have been something she'd bought tickets for or she may have gone away to visit family and git the text message while she was away. It's foolish to rely on someone else to keep you reminded of appointments.

I put all.of my appointments into a Google calendar on my phone so that if I were to lose my phone I can see my calendar on any device but I also write everything on a calendar at home, just in case. I don't rely on the texts that I get from drs or the hospital because that's too risky.

Software does make things more efficient

But it can not be relied upon as systems at times crash (ours often does - NHS and it’s not he latest in software but does the job of holding huge amounts of information that can be cross referenced) that’s why we also write things down in the diary/have print outs

The surgery kept her appointment - it’s not up to the other side whatever the appointment is for to call/text/email reminders once the appointment is made

I know you are having a difficult time and struggling (as many people are who are using your go service) just get a calendar/diary and this won’t happen again, that’s all you can do, she was harsh but the advice to get a diary is what I would suggest to to keep on top of things

I also received an appointment yesterday to another hospital for 20th November 2020.

I once received a letter for the eye clinic for dd that I didn't get until after the appointment. Undoubtedly that means I've figured in the 'sloven' stats somewhere too

She was rude and unprofessional, she didn’t need to keep giving you grief. There are all sorts of reasons why people miss appointments, you may have been suffering from PND and her comments could have sent you over the edge.

The 5 minutes to update all the family would happen if the parents knew that they needed to update all children - so having it in the 'details change' script/standard operating procedure to ask about dependents wouldn't add any hassle. From the perspective of working in a vet practice there are a lot of SOPs (like booking follow up/physio post certain ops) that would make things so much more efficient for all concerned - by clicking a certain procedure it automatically prompts appointments for stitches out, follow up and prints an information sheet for the patient!

Last year I had a really crap run of wasting appointments - preschooler MMR - relevant child had temp of 40 when I checked before taking her - last minute cancellation.

Baby 2nd jabs - preschooler in throes of vs & ds plus no childcare - cancelled day before.

Attempt 2 at MMR preschooler has 38.5 fever in the morning - cancelled that morning.

In the middle of that I had to cancel my smear 2 hours before as AF arrived (1st AF post baby so couldn't predict - typically their next available was 4 weeks and can't book beyond 4 weeks so total nightmare to get a realistic appointment!

I think she was out of order, if she had looked at you or your son's records she would see this wasn't a regular thing.

All this was completely preventable. All OP had to do was write her appointment on a calender For crying out loud how do people think we managed before txt messages 😠

I don’t work for the nhs but I organise repairs for a large social housing provider. I regularly get calls from the tradesmen I send to emergency out of hours jobs like windows being broken or tenants being locked out telling me the tenant is nowhere to be seen. I also get to deal with others who have been waiting for hours waiting on them getting to their house to do their repair.

I then regularly have to deal with the people who missed the emergency tradesman coming and have to explain that they are back to the bottom of the list. I get every excuse under the sun and I regularly find myself giving advice such as “give a key to a family member so you’re not locked out again if you lose your set” I’m called condescending, a bitch and worse when looking at their records they’ve had the locksmith out every few weeks since they moved in.

In addition to the abuse I get from those who are waiting and those who missed their repair due to them not being in, I get abuse from tenants who call in because they didn’t bother to be in when their urgent or non urgent repair was scheduled to be done and they expect me to send someone immediately. The entitlement and lack of responsibility is staggering. I guess what I’m saying is I side with the receptionist here, you made an appointment, it’s your job to keep it and it’s ridiculous that people don’t bother, regardless of the reason (except in exceptional circumstances which you being too lazy to write it down isn’t.)

I think that what is clear from Lanurk’s post and the various stories on here about no-show issues in the NHS is that a lot of people lead chaotic lives, probably a lot more than many of us realise. I suspect that the real culprits will not be changed by a telling-off from a receptionist. It’s a more fundamental societal problem than that. And unfortunately people like OP get caught in the middle. Hope you’re feeling a bit better about it all now OP.

Oh dear Lord, Hearhoovesthinkzebras, problems, problems, problems.

The point is, the vast majority of the time, as the BMJ concludes, reminders work.

Also, appropriate software in a GP practice makes life far easier for all.

No system is perfect. But most of the time a properly thought out system will work.

Otoh, depending on frazzled and sleep deprived parents of babies and small children to keep the entire health service ticking over seems a tad optimistic to me...

a lot of people lead chaotic lives

All the more reason to take simple steps to make it less chaotic, such as writing appointments on a calendar or in a diary. A lot of "chaotic" people bring it on themselves and then of course, it just self-perpetuates and they just lurch from one crisis to another.

Everyone makes mistakes, you're only human! I also get shaken up when people are rude like that. She was probably doing it with good intention but you never know how people will respond. But you now know you need to set reminders, which is a positive thing as you won't forget next time! I always put it straight into my phone calendar so I don't forget. If you're not great with phones then get yourself an old fashioned calendar so you can see it right in front of you. You could also put a calendar or a little whiteboard in your son's room and write down his appointments/events there too. Double reminder! Hope this helps

The point is, the vast majority of the time, as the BMJ concludes, reminders work.

But lots of NHS depts don't send out text reminders, so people shouldn't really rely on them. Me and OH had two appointments last week, neither had text reminders. Today, OH had a blood test appointment, text reminder arrived this morning at 8am for a 9am appointment - if he hadn't remembered (well actually written on the calendar), he'd have already been miles away by 8am and wouldn't have got back in time! Text and email reminders are handy as a reminder, but they're no substitute for people putting the details on their calendar or in their mobile phone (it's about time they were used for something useful instead of liking facebook posts all day!). If you've forgotten and are abroad on holiday, a text the day before an appointment is no use at all is it??

Lots of NHS departments should send out reminders and tell patients to expect a reminder, then. How hard is this to imagine, people?

Your DH's blood test reminder snafu is an example of a ridiculous failure on someone's part to grasp the function of a reminder.

Eyeroll at 'holiday abroad' - yes, I am sure this happens all the time...

Just because there are some very unusual circumstances when a text reminder might not work doesn't mean that in general, and when done properly, in advance, they are demonstrated to work so well that the researchers whose study was published in the BMJ advocated more use of texts.

Ah, so many perfect people on here who have never made a mistake. 🙄

If you had been unapologetic, I could have understood the receptionist making her point repeatedly. This wasn't the case. You apologised profusely and took responsibility. She was wrong to keep going on at you and sounds like a bit of a bully and a bitch. You have made changes that hopefully mean it won't happen again. Move on and forget about her.

All the more reason to take simple steps to make it less chaotic, such as writing appointments on a calendar or in a diary. A lot of "chaotic" people bring it on themselves and then of course, it just self-perpetuates and they just lurch from one crisis to another.

You’re missing my point @user1497207191. I’m not talking about people who just need a bit of a kick up the arse to write stuff down in a calendar. I’m talking about people with serious drug problems, very low levels of literacy, chronic mental health issues, abusive home situations, undiagnosed dementia...etc. Not people who will stop leading chaotic lives if a snippy receptionist gives them a good talking-to.

“Oi, lady - I don’t want a lecture, I want an appointment?”

Sometimes the more you apologise the more power they draw from it.