Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

Most of MN will defend her but yes she was uneccessarily rude. People cost the NHS money in lots of preventable ways, the staff still need to stay professional. Otherwise they’d be berating smokers, drinkers, obese people, the list goes on really!

She was rude. Very rude. She would have been able to see that you consistently attend appointments. As an NHS staff manager I would want to know that a member of my staff was unprofessional in this way and I would take steps to retrain an individual who acted like this.

Missed appointments are a huge drain. Missed paediatric appointments give cause for concern about the care of a child (which is decided by a clinician not admin). Explaining these things is totally acceptable. Lecturing is not acceptable. Continuing once a point has been politely made Is not acceptable. Yanbu to be upset or annoyed. We expect professional behaviour from our health care professionals in the same way we expect respectful behaviour from our patients.

I missed a dentist's appointment recently for the first time in my life. I felt stressed and frazzled as a result. Someone talking to me like that would have felt awful . Luckily the receptionist was very nice.

I don’t think whether the OP should have remembered her appointment is really that relevant - I agree she should have, but in the grand scheme of things when choosing between what’s worse, missing an appointment (a pretty common human mistake as mistakes go) or being a total arse on purpose to someone about missing their appointment, I know what I think is much worse.

I was going to say complain because the next person she did that to could be in a vulnerable position and then read your post showing that you are. Dnas have a huge impact on the NHS but - importantly - we are a health service not a factory line. I managed an NHS service with a huge dna rate & ran a project on why people don't attend, which evidenced two key points:

People who fall into vulnerable groups are more likely to dna appointments and (conversely) are the most likely to need them.

And, putting effort into supporting people to attend appointments and understanding the barriers to them attending is worth it in terms of saving money in lost appointments (and reducing healthcare costs by picking up/preventing problems early). What does not work is berating people. That's not done to help the NHS its done to relieve the individuals frustration. Whether you work in the NHS or banking or a supermarket, taking your temper out on a customer is poor performance.

How we treat people impacts their health. Laying into someone with fragile mental health is a poor delivery of that service. Equally, someone who has adhd for example might have huge problems remembering appointments so by treating people like she treated you she's creating an access barrier.

I think part of the problem here is created by the over use of technology.
You (and me and others) have become dependent on the reminder system.

Its because we are not using our brains enough.

Don't forget that it's the receptionist who has had an earful from parents unable to book an appointment for their own child. She is human, maybe she should have been a bit more politically correct, but it must be immensely frustrating when you are stuck in the middle of people desperate to come, and people who are far too casual about them!

Also, I don't think the receptionist was right to be rude to you.

Its because we are not using our brains enough.

you only need an online calendar, or even just a pen and a calendar, you don't even need your brain!

I think part of the problem here is created by the over use of technology.

I'd say the opposite. We all have diary/reminder apps on our phones yet very few people bother to use them.

agree that they should have automatically updated dependent's files when they changed an adult's file - or at least asked them because in this day and age, it should be an easy thing for them to flag in their systems and = particularly when someone has a young baby - there's a very good chance that lots of things have been coming through automatically and that they will really tired and stressed and might not be thinking straight whereas a simple protocol to ask if there are any other related files that also need updating should be a sensible thing to have.

The only time I've ever missed an appointment was when I got a letter from them complaining that I had missed an appointment. I did not know about the appointment - the letter for it turned up two days later! seems they use first class post to let you know you have missed an appointment, but second class to let you know about the appointment itself. Not great in the run up to christmas!

Missed appointments are incredibly frustrating.

I have had days were literally none of my patients have turned up.

Our waiting times currently for certain types of treatment is currently 8 months, about 10% of these are DNAed.

Our treatment appointments have a DNA rate of about 20%. People are waiting months in pain and it is these people who lose out when people DNA appointments. I am sat around waiting a lot of the time not catching up on paperwork. I will then be sat in clinic listening to people moan about our wait times all day every day.

Everyone has a reason, most of them better than I didn't write it down tbh, if you don't write down Drs appointments it's not a mistake it's inevitable you will miss one. I also find that if you are nice and "oh it doesn't matter" about it then people start to turn up late or DNA more

You shouldn't be depending on the texts anyway, though. My GP surgery has been having some intermittent issues with their computer system meaning that reminders often aren't coming through. If only the people who got texts turned up for appointments, the whole thing would be chaos. The text is a courtesy service but it really is up to you to write down and turn up for all your appointments.

It's also frustating to hear "I'm sorry I failed to attend my appointment, but actually its your fault because you didn't remind me"

Which is what OP is saying. All the posts and its still about not changing the phone number, when in reality it's because OP didn't write it down.

Id have ended up telling her to fuck off and reporting her! How dare she be so rude and saying sorry wouldnt change it, well neither was her lecture going to! Utter vile woman!

Also mum shaming you isnt on either!! Id also personally show up at the surgery to make sure she was dealt with by her manager! And it can be done I had it right out with an unprofessional GP once.

Get it reported OP!

Wow, we are so unforgiving these days. Mistakes happen. Shame, OP.

She was right that the missed appointments are an issue, but certainly not okay to say that you won't get another appointment, or to tell you to get a diary.

You obviously need to get another appointment to get your son's innoculations - his health is more important than her 'teaching you a lesson', my word. If she won't make another appointment I would call NHS 24, they can bypass receptionists when necessary.

(I know this because a doctor's receptionist put me in serious danger years ago, by refusing to give me a doctor's appointment (I had recently had a c-section and had an internal infection.)

YANBU. Don't apologise so much. It was an honest mistake that you rarely make, all you need to do is apologise sincerely once and then if the receptionist continues to hassle you tell them to can it or you'll complain.

has FA to do with the receptionist, some think they're God.
I'd report her or change doctors tbh, or both, to save someone else from her almighty gob.

I had a doctor shout at me that I was 15 minutes late for my daughters appointment along a similar lines. I felt pretty small. And this is a normally very jolly doctor my daughter likes

After his rant I managed to point out that actually I wasnt late at all and had arrived 20 minutes early and I suspect that asking for proof of appointment for the school had meant she had forgotten to tick me off on the system. I didnt get an apology but it was clear the time lost was actually pretty stressful (and that the receptionist would be getting a telling off)

It did make me view him differently though

@BlueCornsihPixie The OP didn't actually complain about not having received a text reminder. She realised what had happened and called the surgery to change the number and was hugely apologetic about having missed the appointments. She's blaming no one but herself.

It's also the first time it's happened; it's not as if she's a persistent offender. We all make mistakes. Posters berating her isn't helping anyway, it's just kicking her when she's down.

The text is a courtesy service but it really is up to you to write down and turn up for all your appointments

^totally.
Our surgery just put a banner up today detailing how much missed appointments (amongst other things) impact the NHS. One missed appointment means another appointment must be found, meaning someone else has missed the opportunity to be seen. It all adds to the pressure.

No- she didn’t need to be rude, but she’s probably heard the same things close to 60 times this week already. I get a bit snappy myself after the twelfth ‘sorry I’m a bit late’ which means, not only do I not have time for a pee, but I now have no chance for a much needed cuppa.

Make a complaint. You said sorry. It was a one off. She was a cow. She has no right to upset the patients.

This thread has just reminded me I missed my daughter's flu vaccination on the 2nd

Relying on texts is lazy and risky. Not all NHS depts use text reminder systems - it's a detrimental feature of the fragmented nature of the NHS. Just because one dept does them doesn't mean others will. People really shouldn't be reliant on them and do need to make their own reminder system, such as the common apps on iphones, a kitchen calendar or pocket diary. The texts should be regarded as a back up rather than be reliant on them.

She was OTT. It comes from frustration. Missed appointments cost the NHS a lot of money and waste doctors’ time. They also take away appointments from people who genuinely need them. It must be incredibly frustrating to spend your time telling people that there aren’t any appointments available for a fortnight and trying to squeeze in urgent cases while several people who have appointments just don’t bother to turn up.