Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

If it’s not something you’ve done previously then she was OTT. I’ve never missed a GP or nurse apt but my GP friend tells me she relies on her did not attends to get referrals/other paperwork done or she’s at work until 9pm finishing off. Just move on and make sure you use the calendar on your phone in future.

Who spoke to you like that? I’m a nurse and we remind people that missed appointments waste money but I wouldn’t want a member of the public speaking to me like I’m an idiot so I wouldn’t speak to anyone like that!!!
It happened I’m sure you won’t miss another but being told off in such a way isn’t professional or kind. You missed an appointment, people so far worse.
Now don’t miss any more appointments

Well she was right but she didn’t need to labour the point unless your son has been ill as a result of not having the jabs which I assume
He hasn’t been? She should remember that you do have a choice whether they have the jabs or not.

I missed jabs for one child too. I had a small baby and was very sleep deprived and just forgot! It happens. YANBU

It sounds as if she was very rude and this is unacceptable from anyone, let alone a health care worker. She may be the receptionist not the person providing the health care, but she is your point of contact. As such she should be professional.
I have mh issues, and low self esteem. If my gp receptionist spoke to me like that it would probably stop me ringing for an appointment when I needed one, and so stop me receiving health care.
If you feel able to I would complain.

I think people in a system that is under so much pressure are likely to behave less professionally and more emotionally than an individual situation warrants.

Doesn’t matter. You need to maintain your professionalism at all times - especially in a job where you’re dealing with potentially very ill people. The OP made a mistake and apologised - the NHS isn’t struggling because of honest mistakes, they happen and the NHS makes plenty of them itself, repeat offenders who regularly miss appointments are perhaps an issue. It doesn’t matter how stressed you are, you don’t behave like that towards someone when at work - I’m a teacher and can get very stressed, you think it’s ok for me to start letting my frustration out on little children or their parents? Bollocks.

BuildBuildings that was a shitty thing to say anyway and I really hope OPs reply makes you realise that and think before being so bloody awful to posters in the future.

It's inappropriate for someone in her position to lay a guilt trip on a patient. As someone who will be speaking to people struggling with physical and mental illnesses, she should be a little more aware of the potential impact of her actions on others. A letter to the practice manager would probably be a good idea in this case and you could suggest that they look into linking phone numbers on patient records as well.

Actually, I once went to a meeting at our GP surgery, and was told that missed appointments are a huge drain on resources. The percentage of missed appointments was much, much higher than I expected, though I cannot remember the figure now.
The meeting was in the evening, and was about 10 years ago, concerning how to make the surgery more efficient (using online booking systems, etc). I saw it advertised while at the surgery in the morning, and thought I would go along.
It is up to you to manage appintments, and I consequently keep a calender (on line, synced with phone), and literally include everything.

You shouldn't have continued apologising after she started lecturing you. You shouldn't have missed the appointment, but you know that and understand why it happened, she is not your mother or your boss and you don't owe her repeated apologies.

🌷🍰☕️. Probably best to hide this thread too 😊

You have done very well to get out of an abusive relationship! Be proud of yourself!

She was rude! It’s as much their fault for not asking if you had any dependents that would be affected by the change in your contact number.

You’ve never missed an Appointment before - your system is working for you (bar changing your number- and not changing it in the baby’s record too- they’re so much part of us it’s not surprising you didn’t think to do so - it’s far more surprising they didn’t ask)

Missed appointments are sometimes a cost to the NHS, but for things like jabs, not so much as they’re over booked anyway and the odd missed one helps to keep them from running very late. It’s not like you missed a heart surgery appointment 🙄

Any way, bottom line is, she was incredibly rude and if you felt inclined you’d be well within your rights to call or email the practice manager and out in a complaint. Her attitude could well push someone over the edge!

BuildBuildings apologies I’d misread your comment as saying you were surprised she’d managed to produce a child

She had a point but she didn't need to lecture you the way she did. It's always seems worse when it's just a one off mistake and you still get a lecture as the OP probably felt bad enough.

You shouldn't have continued apologising after she started lecturing you.

I agree because some people sense that as weakness and use that as an excuse to go on a power trip - she probably won’t say boo to a goose when a patient is kicking off at her. She sounds horrible.

I just read your last post 😢

Honestly, I’m not sure you’ll get anymore helpful advice than you’ve already got, but there’s bound to be more abuse 🙄

You’ve made a BIG step forward getting away from your ex - be proud of yourself

You’re doing your best to ‘get your shit sorted’ and being an unplanned single mum isn’t easy (plus the emotional side of DS’s conception). I hope you have been able to separate DS’s conception with ‘him’and that you have a good bond with him and enjoy being his mum. 🌷

Look after YOURSELF and ignore any further shitty posts or just hide the damn thread!

I can quite understand the receptionist is exasperated at lots of people missing appointments whilst struggling to fit in people who need to see a GP but she went WAY too far with this and was unprofessional for what is essentially a first offence.

I largely do “have my shit together” and have diary systems etc yet I would be furious in the OP’s shoes or frankly even if I had just forgotten for some reason - nobody deserves to be spoken down to in that way.

Well done OP in getting out of an abusive situation. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can and over time that will grow. Try not to let this unpleasant incident get you down.

Missing appointments happen however annoying and a real waste of clinical time sometimes life gets in the way of such things and it is common. Probably more common than it should be mind.

However, it sounds very unprofessional of her to speak the way she did do to you.

I had to rearrange a mental health appointment once a few years back. I rang up a week in advance and gave notice. I explained I had just started a new job and didn’t feel comfortable taking time off so soon, and asked if I could rearrange it within a few weeks time. She was awful! She said to me ‘well will you still have a job in a few weeks time? So why should I make you an another appointment?’ Tried explaining again she was rude AF, and after bartering for about 5 minutes she finally huffed and rearranged it. People have lives! Bearing in mind I had quite a few MH problems at the time and it was a big job of me to call with anxiety. For a mental health place completely inappropriate of her to speak to people the way she has to such a vulnerable patient group. Looking back I should have reported, but it shook me up so much I didn’t want to think about it. I had three weeks of dreading the appointment in case I bumped into to her and she remembered

Think about it this way,

You missing appointment isn’t a big deal to you but there are many people who constantly miss appointments because they don’t see them as being a priority, they can just reschedule it after all, her job is to lecture and scold every single missed appointment patient to try to teach those kind of people a lesson and to stop you even becoming one of those people.

Well OP I really don't think there's any excuse to not have a calendar on your phone or a diary. I can't imagine managing my life without one - kids lives demand it too with school stuff etc. You can't just rely on texts.

I would complain,she is a Receptionist!! Wonder who they think,they are sometimes.

Never any excuse to be rude.I was a Nurse and would never speak to a patient like that.

People don’t realise how hurtful words can be.

It's your responsibility to make sure you kept the appointment. It's not her fault that you failed to update the mobile number on your son's records. Sorry, but she's right. There's no need for rudeness but the fault lies squarely with you, nobody else. I don't think it's unreasonable to say you shouldn't be relying entirely on text reminders from the surgery. You messed up. But you've apologised and updated the records. Try to forget it and move on

Some people just seem to be permanently in lecture mode, I've been lectured before by a nurse on the importance of turning up regularly for your smear tests whilst in appointment for said smear test - actually a couple of weeks before it was due (I'd rung as soon as I'd received the letter and got an appointment immediately). She spent so long lecturing me the actual smear test was then really rushed and was the first time I've ever had a painful smear test.

In short her need to lecture is about her, not you, just ignore her.

It was a mistake, the NHS have made plenty of those themselves.

She had no right to be rude to you, I accept a missed appointment isn't great but in the grand scheme of the state of the NHS, the very least of their problems is you missing a single appointment.

She was obviously having a bad day and you bore the brunt of it, don't overthink it though, it's not a massive deal and nothing to feel guilty about.

You missed an appointment you knew about. It wasn't an emergency and there are no extenuating circumstances.

People turned up for appointments before text reminders. They wrote them in a diary or on a calendar.

Get organised.

I sympathise with your MH issues however you need coping strategies to remember things. A diary is a good place to start.

Sounds like she pushed a bit too hard but I’d just take it on the chin and move on.

Our Doctors surgery has a board up in the surgery with the number of missed appointments that month and the costs involved, last time I went it was 42 appointments!