Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

So the OP proactively phoned up to apologise and was then berated in this manner? Well that is worse.

Have you done it often?

OK you made a mistake but it's pointless and rude for her to lecture you that way.

Also I'm in two minds about the cost of missed appointments thing. When I have an appointment I come in time, then wait minimum one hour, and sometimes two hours to see the GP. If everyone turned up they'd still be going at midnight, they obviously do bookings on the basis that a certain percentage won't turn up.

I am angry on your behalf OP.

You are human and shit happens, we make mistakes. You apologised which is more than what most people do. Who the fuck does she think she is? The comment about your memory is disgusting, and I would complain about that.

Many people with a range of conditions might struggle with remembering appointments even with a diary. The receptionist should know that and realise her attitude could prevent people from accessing medical care in future.

I would complain not only for myself, but for everyone else who might end up on the wrong side of her disgusting mouth.

And, putting effort into supporting people to attend appointments and understanding the barriers to them attending is worth it in terms of saving money in lost appointments (and reducing healthcare costs by picking up/preventing problems early). What does not work is berating people.

Exactly!

the automated text system for mobile phone reminders should be foolproof .

While in an ideal world it would be, in practice it simply is not. No text based system can possibly reach 100% reliability. If you read the contract, you will see it is made very clear that you are charged (even if the cost to you is £zero) for sending a text and that there is no guarantee that the text will be received.

Especially compared to the alternative, which is making a note of an appointment when you first hear about it and putting something in place to remind yourself.

Like being an adult.

No one is condoning a receptionist who did not handle the interaction as well as they might, but really, let's focus on the important things. If the appointment had not been missed, it would have saved very many knock on effects, of which a moment of frustration by a receptionist is by no means the most important or far reaching.

Thinking that there was 'fault in both sides' is a very misguided approach which does not address the root of the problem.

Assessing the root cause of any problem is always going to get a better outcome than muddying the waters considering impacts further down the chain of events.

Thing is the knock on effect of going off at a patient can have s big impact too, for example if the patient has mental health issues and it deters them from accessing help in the future.

A massive amount of people in UK suffer with anxiety it's not a stretch.

It can be argued that a detriment to one individual is worth it for a change across the board I suppose.

Rudeness is never good but imagine how many times this happens and they have to deal with it

Rudeness wasn’t called for but an adult should be able to make a note of an appointment and not need to be reminded.

We take for granted our healthcare here and I think there should be a charge for at least missed appointments if not all. I imagine far less would miss them or go for trivial matters if they had to pay.

Plenty of adults have issues with this stuff for a variety of reasons

Mental health issues
Addiction issues
SEN
Other things that lead to a difficult or chaotic life

These are arguably the people who need to be able to access services more, not discouraged from doing so

Again though the net result can be that people who need help are put off trying to access it, which does free up time and money in the NHS to assist organised people.

So probably a win.

As much as I don't think the receptionist should have spoken to you like she did, you do have some responsibility to make sure you write down your own appointments on a calendar or diary and teach yourself better organisation skills otherwise you are going to be letting your child down constantly when they go to school because they barely let you know something happening let alone sending reminders.

Sounds like a bit of a fuck up both ways tbh. Your kids details should have been linked and you shouldn’t have forgotten. I had a receptionist blow off at me for daring to ask for a prescription to be repeated and told me I needed to give more advanced notice for repeat prescriptions. Except it was eye drops and the infection didn’t give me an advanced notice! I simply had asked if it was possible just to get the prescription again as it was the same infection as the one time before and didn’t think it was worth wasting the drs time a second time.
She wouldn’t listen so I just pegged it down to a bad day.

Lesson learned then?

Sounds like a one off mistake. If it helps, I missed a GP appointment recently - I'd made it 3 weeks in advance and put it clearly in my diary. They send me a text reminder which I ignored, because it was in my diary and I knew when it was. Trouble was I'd written in down for a day late...Felt awful. Have apologised to everyone I've seen at the surgery since...

I am a receptionist at a very busy Doctors surgery, appointments are few and there are never enough of them. When I see missed appointments it’s bloody annoying as I have to deal with a lot of angry patients who moan when they can’t get an appointment and so it’s frustrating knowing they could’ve had an appointment that someone hasn’t attended.

I wouldn’t speak to anyone like that. Ask to speak to the practice manager.

You sound like it was a genuine mistake and won’t be repeated so don’t worry about it. The receptionist can see on the system how many appointments a patient has missed but nothing anyone will ever do about it as the NHS is here for all.

Be kind to Doctors receptionists it can be a demanding job. No one at the surgery I work at ever has a break. The phones don’t stop and there is a constant stream of patients coming in it’s full on. Please allow 48 hours for prescriptions aswell! 😬😉

I think she was incredibly rude - it was clear you already felt bad enough, why carry on and insult you on top of that? Huge hug from me before I go off on a bit of a tangent OP.
I think the NHS is fabulous, but wastes an awful lot of money on letters that just don’t need to be sent. In this day and age there must be a way for people to be able to access things securely online to see when appointments are, rather than relying on a letter - I’ve had four letters just to get confirmation of my little girls eye appointments - and I’ve had to make five phone calls as well. I totally understand the confidentiality aspect of it with giving out the hospital numbers, but even so... that’s what, £2 or so in franking for one persons appointment. And there are how many of us getting letters about appointments every day....???

Doctors' receptionists.....a fearsome breed

OP - the sorry should have been enough. I run a GP practice and we get repeat offenders for DNAs and they are the people I write to or remove if they persist. Usually 2 or more missed apptmts in last 6 months.

You clearly had a one-off oversight and acknowledged this with an apology. The receptionists should have accepted this - they are not your parent and should not treat you like a child.

I bet this receptionist does not reprimand the scary abusive patients who do this regularly as you were an easy target who had already apologised.

I would write it off as she was frustrated and struggling to have to find another 20 minute slot for your child's immunisations which is really difficult in nurse sessions and within recommended timescales. for child imms.

Perhaps she knows there are a lot of poorly patients that really needed the appointment that you wasted. Get your act together and stop with the excuses and feeling sorry for yourself.
I can imagine her frustration dealing with people like you day after day.

JavaQ Not at all - none of my lovely team of receptionists I work with are fearsome - a lot of the patients are though.

I come in time, then wait minimum one hour, and sometimes two hours to see the GP. If everyone turned up they'd still be going at midnight, they obviously do bookings on the basis that a certain percentage won't turn up

Absolutely not. The appointments are 10 mins slots and the reason you have to wait so long is because people turn up late and still need to be seen and the fact that every other person adds “while I’m here......could you just......my neighbours sons girlfriend has read that.... “ add in the fact that patient X who thinks “this is probably nothing” actually needs immediate oxygen and monitoring whilst waiting for an ambulance. That is why you wait so long after your appointment time.

what @Spitsandspots says

GP surgeries would love it if people arrived in time and did not bring a list of 6 ailments to discuss in 10 mins. Got that many things to discuss? Ask for a double appointment - you'll take it anyway

Missed appointments cost the NHS £216 million, maybe THAT will make people think how important changing your details is?

This happened to me (I was jet lagged). They wrote to my baby to berate her for not getting her MMR. Pregnant, I was quite shaken and maybe not as tough as I thought. It took me a full year to go back. As it happened it was entirely my fault, but had I been wobbling about getting her vaccinated a letter saying I’d missed my appointment and did I want to discuss any concerns I had about vaccinations wouldn’t have been far more effective. Unless you’re a repeat offender, there is no excuse for lecturing you.