Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

YANBU

She was extremely rude. Reminding you of the importance of not missing appointments is OK, suggesting sarcastically that you get a diary etc and laying into you further after you have apologised a number of times is not. It makes me laugh the amount of people on this post lecturing you like they've never missed an appointment in their lives before. Don't let it get to you, I have a young baby too and remembering to brush my teeth most days is a struggle lol, I certainly rely on text reminders too much! Recently got a family planner app which has really helped xx

I work for the nhs, millions don’t turn up for their appointments and it’s annoying because for everyone who doesn’t bother to turn up we get an earful from others waiting for appointments. prior to working for the nhs I worked in hospitality, no one ever forgot to turn up for their hotel stay or visit the nearby Peppa pig world.

We all know what doctor's receptionists are like 😂😂😂

OP, I am sorry you have lived with abuse, and can understand why the Receptionist being heavy handed was especially upsetting for you.

“the receptionist had no idea what I had been through in this particular week”
True, and we don’t know her circumstances either.
Maybe consider that it wasn’t personal. Receptionists get shouted at A LOT, and maybe that she had spent all Week being shouted at by people who weren’t being offered an appointment soon enough, so flipped when you accidentally wasted one. Just at her whole work situation.

Most people use the reminder msg as a back up rather than relying on it so start and write them down from now on.

Carry on carrying on looking after your baby, and let this wash over you.

Good luck OP.

Maybe she’s just had an earful from someone not happy they have to wait a month for an appointment and you were not the first missed appointment she’d had to deal with that day.

Missing his jabs apt is not a massive waste of resources, they are nurse apts and take a couple of minutes. If you didn’t turn up she would have put the vial of vaccine back in the fridge and moved on to the next patient ( they are always running behind schedule anyway). This is not like missing a hospital apt where they have a theatre team booked to do your surgery and obviously can’t fill that slot at no notice so only get through 8 procedures in the day instead of a possible 9, for example. My dh is currently experiencing the sharp end of the NHS and it is eye opening how many times he has turned up for an apt only for it not to happen, had the same scan done twice because one hospital can’t send results to another etc. I think the medical treatment is good when it eventually happens but the hospital admin seems totally chaotic and baffling ( they phone to say that someone will phone in the next few weeks to make an appointment- why not just make the appointment in the one phonecall??) . I think that sort of inefficiency will be wasting far more money than patients not turning up.

Missing his jabs apt is not a massive waste of resources, they are nurse apts and take a couple of minutes.

tried to book an appointment for your own child recently? Because even if it only takes a couple of minutes, it's a flipping nightmare to try to get one!

If you don't want to wait until the middle of January that is...

You are right, Sara107.

The gobsmacking admin issues, IT problems, and inefficiency in the NHS are not the fault of people like the OP missing appointments.

The failure of the GP office to link two files of people in the same family and update changed phone numbers for both patients is an example of what is wrong.

I don't think it is the place of a receptionist to castigate patients. I think it would be reasonable for the practice manager to send you a letter asking for an explanation and for you to respond. The Manager would then have learned that you hadn't realised when you changed the telephone no on your address your son's records weren't linked and had missed the reminder.

Yes you should have set a reminder but you're human and made a mistake. I would complain to the Practice Manager asking for an explanation as to why your address record hadn't been updated. How on earth were you to know they put your address on their system multiple times.

Missing his jabs apt is not a massive waste of resources, they are nurse apts and take a couple of minutes

Total lack of knowledge. They are 20 min appointments with 4 injections usually. Not 2 mins - yoh are perhaps thinking of a flu jab...

Don't waste more NHS time complaining. Its equally a patient's responsibility to tell the receptionist that the change affects others in the household.

Don’t feel bad Op - I did this too. Was so tired & overwhelmed with a new baby I totally forgot. Soon realised rang up and apologised everything was fine. In my GP if you miss 3 they ask you to leave the GP & find another

I work for the NHS, and she absolutely shouldn’t have spoken to you like this. It is frustrating when people miss appointments and it’s something I’ve experienced in my job, but I would never dream of speaking to a patient like this. Life happens and must of us understand that. If this was your first missed appointment it was very harsh. I’d write a letter to the practice manager apologising for missing the appointment , explaining why it happened and detailing how it made you feel. When I moved I was asked if I needed to update any other family members details so I don’t think this was all on you.

@mathanxiety
So you're seriously suggesting that every doctors surgery in the country, when given a change of phone number, should check their records to ensure that the number is changed in all corresponding family members files? Ever heard of patient confidentiality for one, and how would they have time to do that anyway?

I've just done this too. I had to wait so long for an appointment to get some routine test results that by the time it came round I had forgotten that it was even in my diary. If the NHS wasn't so underfunded this wouldn't have happened.

I would be wary of writing a letter of complaint if I were you.
remember they can remove you from their list without having to give a reason or justification. so it's a risky move, may lead to great inconvenience. don't bother. try put it behind you. I sympathise, but take it as a learning experience; you know you have problems with memory, so take further steps.
I guess it's a generational thing, but I would never rely solely on electronic means of communication or information retrieval.
get yourself a nice diary, perhaps one day per page, so that you can write in big clear letters, each appt/ event.
the very act of writing down something helps to remember it.
I know this from compiling shopping lists. I frequently forget to take them with me, but by having previously written it, I can usually remember most items.
so I advise a belt and braces approach. one cannot have too much information. use phone and diary, and wallchart ? good luck.

Miss an appointment, waste NHS time and money.
Focus on the receptionist being pissed off rather than the fact that you missed the appointment.
Write a letter of complaint to further waste people’s time.
Get removed from surgery list and look for a new GP.

Or..... suck it up, and start writing down your appointments

Seriously, the receptionist sounds like she was rude. But grow up for goodness sake

Tessabelle
So you're seriously suggesting that every doctors surgery in the country, when given a change of phone number, should check their records to ensure that the number is changed in all corresponding family members files? Ever heard of patient confidentiality for one...

No. That is not quite what I am suggesting.

...how would they have time to do that anyway?
Is that a serious question?

Here's one example of how efficiency can be accomplished:

Mum contacts them to make an appointment for herself and to give her new number.
Receptionist asks if there are any dependent children or other dependent individuals in her household also registered with the GP and if yes, asks for names.
Receptionist confirms that new contact details apply to all the other named individuals in the household.
It takes maybe five minutes in total.

Far better to spend five minutes getting this accomplished than risk wasting appointment slots, right?

Of course a properly set up file system would have the responsible adult cross referenced with the dependents in the first place. Again, take the time to do this and you can avoid wasting appointments, wasting money on reminder letters that can't be delivered, etc. Or silly situations where the receptionist phones and asks to speak to the 6 month old baby.

Your misunderstanding of 'confidentiality' means you are suggesting that the GP practice should only talk to individual children when appointments are being booked, or only ask a child or toddler to verify contact information at a visit.

@Tessabelle74 If the son is a minor, the system should be programmed to recognise that his number is not 'his' number, and adjust it automatically. It wouldn't take anybody having to look anything up. I don't work for the NHS but our system does this with minors. I don't think it's surprising that OP didn't realise this was not in place.

I constantly have DNAs at work. I would NEVER dream of speaking to someone like that. Completely inappropriate, unprofessional and rude.

It's not down to her to know what you've been through that week it's down to you to know when your appointment are. Let's be honest you wouldn't have missed it if you were paying or fined for missed it, then you would have made sure you turned up. It's just not good enough. She was right, someone else's child could have had an appointment that you wasted. She could have put it better but what she said was all true. Take some personal responsibility and move on.

Yanbu! You should share this with the doctor next time, apologize again to doc then all the rest, they're not going to like the receptionist stomping on people. A receptionist stuck her finger in new baby's mouth I just couldn't even begin to deal with it so spoke to the doc who agreed and dealt with it, no one has a right to make anyone feel crappy!!

So...why don't you get a diary?

@mathanxiety
You know, we used to have this thing, called personal responsibility. We made an appointment, we turned up. Then we started getting lazy, expecting text reminders so we didn't have to remember things any more. But oh no, because we expect everyone else to take on our responsibilities, we get narky when WE forget to do something, such as update important information. Those "5 minutes" to link all this information isn't just 5 minutes is it? In my household alone there's 6 of us, my GP group has 200,000 patients, that adds up to a significant amount of 5 minutes don't you think?

Forget about it, get a calendar, move on