Just had an earful from the doctors surgery for missing appointment.

[ChocolateSiany]

I missed my son's jabs. I phoned them to change my phone number on my file so I don't miss any appointments. I forgot to change it on my son's file. So stupid. I am really forgetful so depend on their text reminders. I have started writing down all my appointments, but I didn't write this one down. I apologised profusely and have now changed my number and written down his new appointment. The woman on the phone pretty much laid in to me. Told me that missed appointments such as these are the reason the NHS is under such stress. I again apologised profusely and said it wasn't done intentionally, I understand my wrongdoing and that I am incredibly sorry. She continued. Told me that sorry won't get the appointment back and that I should maybe think about getting a diary if my memory isn't up to scratch. I am shocked she spoke to me like that, I feel incredibly guilty for missing the appointment (I don't miss appointments regularly). Feeling down and upset that I missed the appointment. AIBU to think that whilst I was in the wrong, she didn't have the right to be so rude to me?

ChocolateSiany
yes, it was a mistake, it happens, but let it go. Starting a thread against the receptionist is a bit much.

How do you manage to schedule your life if you only ever rely on reminders is anyone's guess!

And again, as the parent of child who can't get an appointment for their own jab, it's very frustrating. Someone else could have been seen instead.

She was a twat. I have been a GPs receptionist and when someone calls to change their details, you pull up all the linked files and ask if those need changing too. They are in the wrong, and I would complain about the rudeness.

I also agree they would not have spoken to a man like that.

But your system isn't foolproof. It relied on the text reminders. What would happen if your surgery stopped doing them? What happens if you double book yourself? How do you remember to book time off work?

Why do people feel the need to tell OP what a problem missed appts are, ok the first couple of posters, but after that? Why are there now 7 pages repeatedly having a go at OP for missing an appt and saying how bad that is?
OP said in her original post she made a mistake, she apologised and she felt awful about missing it, even without the receptionist attitude, yet nearly 7 pages worth of pp are having a go about how bad it is, some of them being nasty about it.
So much for Mumsnet being a place of support and help.
Especially given the OPs updates.
She didn’t post saying “ha ha I missed an appt and the receptionist told me off” she posted, obviously upset, saying that she was mortified at missing an appt but was it ok the receptionist was horrid.

Child development centre. Letters, texts and phone calls to confirm. We still had a 70% ‘did not attend’ rate. It’s upsetting when trying your best to provide a service which is already under resourced. Of course people forget...but it’s tiresome continuously accepting the blame for someone else’s mistake.

yabadabadontdoit
Why do people feel the need to tell OP what a problem missed appts are, ok the first couple of posters, but after that?

because the receptionist had a point? What else do you want posters to say? You think "poor you", I don't agree. The OP asked a question, people replied....

My dad missed his Dentist appointment. He apologised, said he had a lot on at the moment work & family wise (he does) and Receptionist said "No problem would you like another one?"....

I'd have hung up on this woman OP. Unapologetic serial offender I can understand why she'd get peed off at them but ONE mistake?! I bet my arse she's missed appointments before.

text reminders from the doctors. Hence why I have never missed an appointment before

Since the NHS is free at the point of use, there isn't really any way to make up for missed appointments. I would encourage you to make sure that you do not miss appointments without relying on text reminders from the surgery.

Phones, calendars all work well, if you use them faithfully. all the best.

I run a dental practice and if someone was to change their address our system highlights other people that the patient lives with, so to an extent this could be construed as their problem.
But I see both sides. Text reminders shouldn't be relied on. It is up to each individual to take responsibility for their own appointments

*She was rude. Very rude. She would have been able to see that you consistently attend appointments. As an NHS staff manager I would want to know that a member of my staff was unprofessional in this way and I would take steps to retrain an individual who acted like this.

Missed appointments are a huge drain. Missed paediatric appointments give cause for concern about the care of a child (which is decided by a clinician not admin). Explaining these things is totally acceptable. Lecturing is not acceptable. Continuing once a point has been politely made Is not acceptable. Yanbu to be upset or annoyed. We expect professional behaviour from our health care professionals in the same way we expect respectful behaviour from our patients*

THIS

That sounds like a nasty piece of work, mistakes happen! I forgot my appointment last week until it was 9.56 and my appointment was at 10. I flew out the house and was 3 mins later

If you’d be being charged the rate for this appointment - I’m guessing £50-£100 if you were paying - would you have forgotten it?

Hermione I think that point has been pretty exhausted already

Our patients have text message reminders, I check the number is correct when booking and still they don't turn up or have the courtesy to cancel so someone else can benefit. Receptionists also get it in the neck when there are no appointments available and it's downright frustrating when that person having a go could have easily had the appointment someone couldn't be arsed to keep.

To be honest, I would have just told her you were ending the call due to her rudeness and put the phone down on her.

Hold on, did you actually say to the receptionist that you missed the appointment because they didn't send you a reminder, so basically it's entirely their fault - and you don't normally bother to write any medical appointment down?

....

No I phoned and said I was so sorry I missed the appointment, she said 'didn't you get a text reminder?' to which I replied no and said it's strange because I for one for my smear test. Conversation went on from there. I never mentioned anything about it being their fault. I apologised profusely.

Trauma affects memory and organizational skills. You have trauma, it's unsurprising.

Much as I care about the NHS, workers have to understand trauma informed practice.

Can’t you just input the appointment immediately into the calendar on your phone? Then you don’t need to rely on your memory weeks down the line or text reminders.

I'm totally with the receptionist here.

I turned up 10 minutes late for my 6 week check because the receptionist had written the time down wrong on my appointment card (genuine mistake). When I tried to book in for my appointment I was told by a different receptionist to sit in the waiting room & the doctor would "decide if she wanted to see me". It was a horrible feeling, because I wasn't in the wrong & was being made to feel like I was. I have anxiety around doctors & hospitals anyway. She started to apologise when she saw she'd upset me but I ended up walking out in tears. I very nearly didn't go back. This one receptionists attitude to me could have affected my health if it wasn't for my husband pushing me to go to the appointment that he'd rearranged for me.

Yes, you were wrong to miss the appointment, but you know that & apologised. I don't understand why some receptionists have to be so rude.

Yes, the receptionist seemed harsh BUT I'm willing to bet that she spends approx. 60% of her working day getting chowed at because there are no appointments available for a fortnight.

Are you able to tell your phone to add future appointments? That's what I do, my concentration and dexterity are both shafted so it's ideal.

@MrsTerryPratchett I can definitely attest to trauma affecting memory, I've experienced that myself since my memories of my childhood abuse came back, triggered by having young children.

I do realise that a GP receptionist wouldn't know this. But surely it shouldn't be that difficult to understand that if you're working in a GP surgery some of the patients you deal with will be vulnerable in terms of their mental health? And that shouting at them won't achieve anything?

Very unprofessional OP but you don’t have my sympathy i’m afraid, just being honest. It’s not like your son has a mobile so they can contact him and GP appointments cost the NHS around £160 each.

@Lizzie0869 you'd think wouldn't you? Sorry that happened to you