To do the household chores every day whilst he works

[Liveinmaid]

My partner and I have had a big row this evening as he has had to come home from a 12 hour shift and had to do the washing up. Sounds juvenile and it is.

His argument is that he has worked 12 hours today, and shouldn’t have to come home to do stuff like this as I have been at home all day ‘doing nothing’. Admittedly yes I have done the bare minimum only because I am fed up of doing the same household jobs that no one else can be arsed to keep clean or tidy.

For context, he starts at 6am and as he doesn’t drive I take him to work and will pick him up at 6pm.

I understand I’m not at work (maternity leave, not yet had baby) but is it REALLY my responsibility to do the following everyday:

Wash up dry up put away
Load and unload the washer/dryer
Put clothes away
General tidying of each room
Make tea
Run any errands
Mop the floors/vac up
Put the kids clothes away
Clean the bathrooms
Do the weekly shopping
Sort out any household admin

I am not a fool to know he is taking the piss but I know I should do some bits at home which I don’t resent doing but when I’m having to do the same job 3 times a week which should only need to be done once it takes the biscuit.

YABU - I should be doing the majority of the household jobs
Yanbu - they should be split evenly regardless of he works 12 hours or 2 hours

Driving him to and from work is crazy. He's managed to get to quite a substantial age without learning to drive?! and needs to rely on his heavily pregnant wife

How long does driving him to work take? That's time out of your day that counts as chores and not 'doing nothing'. If his work is half an hour away, that's two hours right there.

The driving him to work is a household chore. Glad you're planning to drop that.

It's a difficult one for me, I'm currently 38+5 pregnant and on mat leave. My partner and I are both nurses so I know what 12 hour shifts are like and he's still doing them, days and nights. I do all the housework and cooking but he does tidy up after himself. I also don't drive so not completely comparitive, I do think I should be doing the majority of the housework at the moment though.

Waiting for the chat update

sorry for the delay peeps

So didn’t have a chat with him as such, in a nutshell he’s done the childcare and arrangements for childcare to Give me a break, he’s done a few things off his own back without me asking I.e making meals and I have cleaned up.

He tried to sit on his ass this afternoon but I just asked him if he minded giving me a hand clearing up after lunch which he did.

Think we have both banged our heads together and sorted our sh*t out

I think during maternity leave sometimes house work becomes women's work and doesn't return after the return to work.

@Liveinmaid how long have you been on maternity leave?