'Very smart' staff member getting on my nerves

[kippenvel]

A couple of weeks ago, I started volunteering at this food bank. Every volunteering session lasts for about 3 hours. Because the time slot I picked is largely inconvenient for most people working conventional hours, I'm always the sole volunteer there alongside this particular full time member of staff.

Hate is a strong word, I know, but after all our sessions together, I can safely say that what I feel towards her (especially during/right after my shift) comes pretty close.

Here are the 2 main reasons why:

1. She is CONSTANTLY talking about how smart she is.

E.g.: I was talking about having to study for my upcoming uni exams, and she went on and on about how she didn't even have to study back in the day because it was all 'common sense'! She also unironically mentions her IQ all the time, and uses it to substantiate whatever claim she wants to make that day.

1. She tries to analyse me and states her conclusions as if they were the gospel truth.

E.g.: I'm gay and she has told me that it's either because some boy has hurt me in the past (completely untrue) or because I lacked a stable motherly figure growing up (also untrue). When countered she gave me this bloody irritating knowing look and condescendingly told me that it's unconscious and that we 'don't always see the damage that people have done to us'.

I now give her monosyllabic replies in the hopes that she'll eventually get bored but apparently not! No other time is convenient for me, sadly. AIBU to consider quitting just to keep my blood pressure down?

Just received an email reply from the volunteer coordinator earlier this morning. She said that they'll be looking into this matter and that they'll take whatever action necessary to ensure a good working environment for everyone involved.

Interestingly, staff member has (a couple of minutes ago) texted me that she's sorry my 'feelings were hurt' and that she was 'just trying to help' but that she does feel that 'everyone takes offence to everything these days so it's really hard to know where to draw the line'.

She’s still digging isn’t she? Needs a bit of retraining or a gag 🙂

Time to move on OP. She is going to make it all about her and turn herself into the victim.

Pass the text onto the volunteer coordinator as well, so s/he knows what a massive fuckwit s/he's dealing with

She is never going to give up is she? She will always be right in her head. I would move on, you have only been there a few weeks imagine how unbearable it would be in a few months. It's a big shame but she will never change.

@kippenvel

I strongly suggest screenshotting that second message and forwarding that too, perhaps with just the comment "for info."

She's reeeaaaallllyyyy not that clever is she.

Jesus Christ she's thick as mince

I agree that you need to pass on that message. She is crossing lines right, left and centre and needs to stop.

Absolutely forward that second text OP. This woman is giving me THE RAGE on your behalf!

she does feel that 'everyone takes offence to everything these days so it's really hard to know where to draw the line

I would definitely forward the text to the co-ordinator.

Personally, I'd also add that it's heartening that she acknowledges that she needs more diversity training based on the above ^

Glad your coordinators or taking it seriously but WTAF, her latest comment suggests the woman needs a ball gag, never mind training.

Is she religiously all?? I've see similar behaviour from born again Christians

She was trying to help with what?

You haven't asked her for any help, have you? She has decided that you need to change to suit her perceptions of your sexual orientation and she's trying to get you to agree that she's right. That's not trying to help.

Good God, forward the message. They need to know how unrepentantly thick she is. As well as being incredibly offensive, she's a complete liability.

OMG.... I mourn the days of slapping people

Send the dumb ass woman this thread.

She's a hopeless case isn't she?! Utterly wrong of her to have made direct contact like that in a closed medium (with someone else there as an apology or a letter or email that was reviewed first by her senior or HR. Idimagine she's totally ignored advice. So do mention that she's been in touch about it.

No everyone does not take offence more easily "these days" it's just there are thankfully laws and policies to empower people when they need to call out utter shit behaviour.

Earbuds and some music. Tune her out. She feels threatened by you because you are at uni and have an independent mind. Tell her that you need to listen to music as part of your studies!

It's debatable how much IQ matters, and intelligence comes in different forms. YANBU. She sounds well obnoxious.

everyone takes offence to everything these days so it's really hard to know where to draw the line'

I’d say: Draw it at homophobia.

What happened is she still there?

She needs to be told to leave you alone, she's a disgusting homophobe and unlikely to change her views.

By her 'logic' every woman who's been hurt by a boy and had a shit mother is gay then, what a loon. Or even further than that, is she straight because a girl hurt her some time and she has a shit father?!!? SMDH.