Aibu to think that my kids aren’t coming back?

[SeaOfDespair]

I had my girls removed last month and it’s been a very traumatic experience. My family are so far away, my friends have dwindled away and I’m stuck looking at these 4 walls.

I’m seeing a private child psychologist and doing some work with him. He understands how harsh the system can be. I’m doing 2 different parenting courses online. I’m paying for all of this myself and has been a bit of a struggle recently.

My solicitor just tells me to go along with whatever they want. I’ve ticked one thing off the list, but they’re not forthcoming with starting their own assessments. Social worker is either sick, or can’t be bothered.

My youngest has arrived to contact with bruising to her face 4 times. She is cruising, but never managed to be bruised within my care. My elder one seems sort of happy, but is having a lot of tantrums and isn’t able to communicate with me.

From them wanting to keep them at home on an order, their original intentions until the court hearing, to pretending I don’t exist. They didn’t even turn up to the meeting last week. No apology given. No notification of cancellation.

From a case of closing ranks to keeping the case open, it never did surprise me that they applied for a court order. My social worker’s reasoning? I don’t agree with their concerns, so there needs to be a care order.

Am I being unreasonable to think I don’t stand a chance in hell of getting them back, if they’re not willing to even bother working with me?

@williewonkaswangaa aww, thank you, that means a lot x

Also ignore byzant, simply because they're a dick.

Yes Byzants post is fucking horrible.

@hungryagain2019 yeah, I realised that. People like to feel superior, but if they were in the same situation, how would they feel if they were being judged?

@byzant Please don't reply further to my post. You're a keyboard warrior. Thanks, bye.

@byzant I'm not interested in what you have to say, sorry. I'm not even reading your replies. You're wasting your time.

Yeah she posted for advice, not sure your posts qualify. Not everyone who has problems with ss think they are evil child snatchers, some of us just actually have genuine concerns for the way they operate. A lot of the concerns are justified.

It's important for everyone skimmimg to be clear that you have twisted a lot of what the op said. Are you a social worker?

@HungryAgain2019 I don't think she/he cares whether or not concerns are justified. Some people post purely to wind others up. It says more about them than the people they are insulting. It's a bit of a shame really, I pity those types.

The way I see it is, if some horrific child abuse cases can be missed and slip through the net, so can some corrupt social workers. Don't even get me started on corrupt cafcass and judges. We can't talk about these things though because it's easier to pretend it doesn't happen and anyone who thinks otherwise are delusional and need help. Ignorance is bliss and all that.

Byzant just stop it. You're being gratuitously viciously nasty.
Ignore them OP, and I'm sorry

Hungry
If you have evidence of corruption in the judiciary then I suggest you raise it formally as that is an extremely serious allegation.

It is absolutely a serious allegation and it's one I stand by.

I'm sorry but I've never known a normal family have their children permanently removed.

The thing with having secret, behind closed doors cases, is that while it rightly protects the children involved, it also makes a fair and balanced trial impossible. The fact that social services don't have to prove any abuse or neglect, and they can build a case on the possibility of future harm is so bloody dangerous! Can you say with 100% certainty that every single person who has worked on these cases has done it with the childs best interest at heart? That not one of them has done it for any other reason?

Agree with HungryAgain and others. Some SWs are corrupt. It's naive to think otherwise. The SWs seem to have taken a dislike to OP. As pp said, she is not grateful and compliant. They will not recognise this if it's pointed out but get defensive and get colleagues on side to close ranks, and punish the service user. None of this is paranoia.

@Seaofdespair is your solicitor with the local authority who has put your children in care? If so, please try and find one in a different area which a good knowledge of care proceedings.

which has*

@SeaOfDespair, I think if your offline conversations go like they do on this forum, there’s a good chance you won’t get your children back.

I think you only want to hear that you are right and the system is out to get you. And I think other posters jumping on the bandwagon are probably not helping you to become more self aware.

You’ve had some good advice here, which I hope helps in the situation.

I can’t comment on this individual case as it’s all very one sided and complex sounding but I work in safeguarding.
a few years ago I needed extra support around divorce, ill health, childcare etc and actually asked for help. I was treated appallingly by social workers and the situation was so badly managed that it actually made things ten times worse.
They didn’t listen or understand and left me alone dealing some very tricky and traumatic circumstances after they’d thrown my home into worse chaos than before I’d needed help!
I work daily with social services, some are incompetent and many are overworked. There’s little continuity so I can kinda see how things can go spectacularly tits up .
Good luck though and jump through every hoop they give you