1. I left the refuge myself, because it was poorly controlled. I didn’t get kicked out, but thank for jumping to your own conclusion.
Were you kicked out of the refuge though?
Did you engage in a conflict with another resident?
If you left voluntarily, did you try to get the poor control rectified before making the decision to move?
If you left voluntarily, did you pause to think of the effect on the children of so many moves in such a short time?
Were you pregnant at the time you moved?
Did you have a young baby?
A lot of parents would stay put because they understand that moving a lot has a bad impact on children. Or they would wait until they could find a place that didn't have rising damp and mould and was in a dangerous neighbourhood.
2. I didn’t actually apply for another house, the offer was withdrawn. There’s a difference, do you understand the homeless system? I never hinted at it being a bigger plot. Why would you even think that? How could it even be a bigger plot? What?
You have indeed hinted that everyone is against you.
Your narrative here involves lots of powerlessness on your part and forces outside of your control lined up against you. Even agents who are supposed to have your interests at heart are inadequate (Tenancy Support, solicitors) or hostile (HVs).
You really, really need to try to understand how you are coming across here. They things that jump out at posters here are also jumping out at the SWs, so you need to pay attention to what people here are saying when they try to point out how you are giving a poor impression. It's not people trying to get at you just for the heck of it.
3. Well yeah, when health visitors treat you like absolute pond life, they’re not actually being supportive. When they base their opinions on the one I made a complaint against, then that’s hugely unfair. There isn’t any need for racism. She shouldn’t have been offensive.
Here is a thing that jumps out - the accusation of racism and offensiveness, as a result of which you have gone through a lot of HVs.
Because of that, you come across to SWs as someone likely to be non-compliant with them, and much more importantly, someone who puts her own feelings ahead of her children's need for consistency in monitoring.
If you depend on the HV for an autism assessment referral, and if that referral is something you care about, you need to smile politely at the HV, get over yourself, and keep on plugging for that assessment referral.
Or take matters into your own hands and go to the GP to get that referral.
4. A good amount of legal aid solicitors are piss poor. You don’t have to fight too hard when you’re automatically getting the money. My 2nd didn’t give me any advice at all, she just said that I’d be ok.
More chopping and changing with the solicitors. This looks very bad too.
Did you ask the 2nd solicitor to explain what she meant?
Legal Aid solicitors work on child welfare/ SS cases pretty much 100% of the time. They have a lot of expertise, and they have their professional regulator and a judge breathing down their neck.
Getting your back up about the fact that they are paid automatically and therefore not motivated to do good work makes you look bad partly because it can easily be noted that you refused to work with the HVs too, but mainly because going through a lot of people who have training and expertise makes you look suspicious of everyone, in denial about the problems, and prone to thinking everyone is against you and you are being let down by The System. You deny that you feel there is a conspiracy against you but you keep on revealing what you are thinking and feeling here, in your own words.
Can you understand what it looks like to SWs when neither the HVs nor the solicitors are up to your standards?
It looks like someone given HV and solicitor services who is letting her feelings get in the way of effective co-operation with her children's welfare as the ultimate goal, someone who doesn't listen and isn't compliant.
Worst of all, you come across as someone who has anger issues or a very low frustration threshold, who allows those elements to get in the way of the welfare of her children/ someone who insists on special treatment for herself and isn't putting her children's welfare first.
5. How am I supposed to know what to do? I’m not a mind reader. I’ve done the psychological assessment. The other 2 require ss, which they are dragging their feet about and I keep asking when they’re going to start.
You really should have some idea of the problems, and actually, you do because you have mentioned them several times now. The issue is that you deny the problems.
What letters have you received from SS from the start of proceedings up to now?
What exactly has been said in these letters?
What meetings have you attended with SS up to now?
What exactly has been said in these meetings?
Do you have a list of instructions anywhere?
Do you have a list of their concerns anywhere?
Do you have a log of communications with them?
You have hinted that they are concerned about diet and mess and the development lag. You deny both the diet and the mess concerns.
However, you mention mould, rising damp, lots of soft toys and too much clothing, disposing of lots of clutter since SS have been involved, and changing bedding daily. So what is it - mess or tidy home?
You also say you are now in emergency housing. What are the criteria for the awarding of emergency housing?
Wrt development lag, you have dug in and insisted the problem is autism, but you have also refused to work with the people who could have been persuaded to get a referral for assessment, and you haven't taken the initiative of going to a GP who might have been able to give you a referral. You have not worked with the HV who said the problem isn't autism.
You do not mention a nursery - has older DD been to nursery?
A nursery would provide a stimulating environment and also backup for your autism theory.
You do not mention any visits to a GP - are the children registered with a GP and have they ever been seen by one?
You are really fighting hard that the powers that be have refused to do the autism referral - you are denying all concerns SS have about living conditions and diet and conditions related to development lag and trying to make this entire interaction with SS into a case of SS letting your DD down because they won't get an autism referral for her.
You yourself could have made a GP appointment for DD if you had concerns. Why didn't you do that?
When did you first start having concerns about DD's possible autism?
It looks as if you were hostile to the first HV and decided that instead of listening to concerns this HV had, you decided the problem consisted of The System letting you down wrt the referral for assessment, then 'they' were expecting you to take time and spend money on buses to speech therapy appointments, and the problem was not you doing nothing about getting the autism assessment, and living in a mouldy, messy home, your third in a very short time.
Because of all of this, I can guarantee that you are coming across to SS as someone who primarily wants to score points against them and get everyone trying to hold you to account off your back. This is not good.