Ex taking child on holiday

[Aimee75]

My ex husband has custody (residency order) of our 9 year old son which was ordered by the court after a lengthy court battle. I have recently found out that my ex & his wife are taking my son and their children out of school for 2 weeks to go to Disneyland. I have spoken to my ex to express my disapproval about taking him out of school however his response is that as he is resident parent he legally has the right to take our son abroad for up to 4 weeks without my written permission. I have checked the order that was issued by the court and to be fair it does state that but I do have a big problem with him taking him during term time so my question is should I apply for a pso to try to prevent my son being taken on holiday during term time? Any advice please

Maybe if you were to go on holiday without your ‘d’p and his dd, your ex may let you take your ds for more than an overnight stay. Perhaps you should look into that instead of cooking up excuses for why you’re upset he wants to take your ds away on holiday.

This is really sad. Your son was 7 and felt he didn’t fit in at home and your dp was too strict? Usually that actually means a lot of shouting and emotional abuse. You should have left your dp. I’m sorry to be so blunt but your son should have come first.

The very least you can do is let him go to Disneyland.

So you agreed that it was best your 7 year old child should live away from you so that u could continue living with you partner who has arguments with a child? Jesus let him go on bloody holiday. You don't even realise how lucky you and your child are to have his father who is stepping up to the plate and giving your child a normal family life.

This thread is a great example of how unsupportive and judgemental women can be towards women.

We don't have to support people just because they're female!

Why is everybody being really nasty to this lady? Isn't a forum like this suppose to be supportive? Nobody knows the circumstances as to why she doesn't have residency of her son.

Why should we support someone who allowed her "D"P to bully her seven year son to the point that he wanted to move out? Who introduced another man and his daughter to his life and even forced him to share a room with a virtual stranger?

I'm all for supporting other women, but not when they behave like that!

the same study showed that children who took planned holidays in termtime actually had BETTER educational outcomes

To be precise, the study showed that children taking authorised holiday made little difference to educational outcomes or possibly a small positive effect (although my understanding of the report is that it was not statistically significant). However, children taking unauthorised holiday (as the OP's ex is talking about here) have significantly worse outcomes.

The circumstances are that the son told cafcass in family court that he wanted to live with his dad .

You say your ex is a very good father, then trust his decision and allow this holiday without making it difficult. Notice how the new wife has made your son feel comfortable and a part of the family unlike what your son felt with you and your partner.

Stop looking for reasons to make things difficult, none of your supposed reasons make any sense, you are just bitter and jealous. I wouldn’t be surprised if your strict partner is also pushing you to make an issue.

His father has every right to also make a decision and the courts have authorised him to do so as well. Let this go OP and actually focus on bettering your relationship with your son, that should be your priority.

If I had my time again I would definitely have taken holidays in term time in primary. When he gets to secondary it's really difficult as it's much faster pace.
Maybe I'll say have a great time and if I'm the future you need to have a chat about it do it.
He is only 9. Don't worry too much. He'll catch up soon enough.

Yikes. You chose a man over your own child. Bad move op. Seriously.

Ok so for those that need to know my partner’s daughter moved in and my son had to start sharing a bedroom; my partner is very strict with the children and he & my son clashed. My ex is a very good father (always been present & communicates well) unfortunately my son didn’t feel he fit in at my home and 2 years ago my ex & I decided it was in his best interest to live with his Father as there was more space and the arguments would stop between my son and partner. Is that good enough for everyone?

I think this may be one of the saddest things I have ever read on MN. I can't even imagine the desolation of a 7-year-old who felt he didn't fit in at home with his own mother. Thank God his father stepped up. I hope this boy now has a stable, loving family with his dad and stepmother. And I certainly hope he has a lovely holiday with them. Given all he has been through, missing a couple of weeks of school would be the absolute least of my concerns.

When OP got with her partner there were no issues between him and her son. Then she had children with her partner. Then her partner had to take his daughter in, for unknown reasons. This meant she had to be accommodated in the family home and therefore had to share with her DS.

I don't think there is strong evidence that she chose her DP over her son except for people who haven't read the thread.

Women aren’t allowed to move on and meet new partners are they ? My ex is married to an absolute witch who books her work shifts to ensure she never has to see his children. Is kicking my 16 year old out next year if she doesn’t like the fact that she’ll have to change school and the court don’t give a shit because once when she was 14 she said she wanted to live with him after a family row that was spectacularly blown out of portion so he didn’t have to pay child support.
Don’t judge when you don’t know the details

Ok so for those that need to know my partner’s daughter moved in and my son had to start sharing a bedroom; my partner is very strict with the children and he & my son clashed. My ex is a very good father (always been present & communicates well) unfortunately my son didn’t feel he fit in at my home and 2 years ago my ex & I decided it was in his best interest to live with his Father as there was more space and the arguments would stop between my son and partner. Is that good enough for everyone

Frankly no!! The partner would now be an ex!! You’ve basically told the world you’ve chosen your partner over your own innocent child.

FYI also, a 7 year old child does not “clash” with an adult, the adult moving into your home also doesn’t get to be “very strict” with your child, more so if that child is being emotionally disturbed due to said behaviour and actions.

@Inliverpool1 OP has told us the details? She herself states her DP is very strict, that they BOTH agreed that to stop arguments that it was best the child lived with his DF.

I'm confused as to why you're saying we don't know the circumstances?

@spanglydangly that’s hardly the ins and outs though is it ?

Women aren’t allowed to move on and meet new partners are they ? My ex is married to an absolute witch who books her work shifts to ensure she never has to see his children. Is kicking my 16 year old out next year if she doesn’t like the fact that she’ll have to change school and the court don’t give a shit because once when she was 14 she said she wanted to live with him after a family row that was spectacularly blown out of portion so he didn’t have to pay child support.
Don’t judge when you don’t know the details

Your projecting and what you’ve said ^^ is absolutely nothing to something this OP.

Yes parent are allowed to move however certainly not to the detriment of a child’s emotional wellbeing and being forced to leave his own home due to mother allowing he partner to “clash” with the innocent 7 year old child.

OP has children with her partner. It's not as simple as just getting rid of him in favour of her 7 year old.

@Doyoumind what about the buts about being very strict and the DP and son arguing? The bit where OP said it gave more room and stopped the arguments? And where the OP and DP agreed it was best the DS lived with his DF.

Are those bits to be ignored? Because i think they're massively relevant?

This was not a child ripped from his mother's arms.

@Inliverpool1 it's enough to go on, as is your explanation.

I can see a belligerent teenager being stroppy and saying I want to move after an argument with a resident parent, they're hot headed and don't think of circumstances. Oh course I don't know the ins and outs of the argument.

It might not be the ins and outs but its enough. They clashed, the step dad is very strict so to stop argument they shipped out the 7 year old. The same 7 year ild who presumably doesn't clash and argue with his step mother so what does that tell you about where the problem lies.

There’s always more to a story than meets the eye though, we can agree on that surely ?

This has to be a reverse. No one paints themselves in such a bad light surely? My money is on the stepmother.

Why were you so confident you would get your child back OP if you had already decided it would be better for him to live with his father. What has changed so that he would be happy with your family set up?

Being strict and shouting doesn't necessarily mean abusive and I say that as someone who suffered abuse as a child and in a relationship.

It's hardly unheard of for there to be tension between children and step parents.

I never said the child was ripped from his mother's arms. He chose to live with his dad.